Rowing's been interesting the last few weeks. With my sore back, I was out for a few weeks and then, we got a new crop of graduates from the learn to row program. I give 'em credit for coming out but I don't know what baffoons teach them to row because they can't balance worth shit.
Why does this matter? Because if the boat isn't balanced, one side's ores drag in the water and they can't get them out and subsequently, they can catch a crab. Remember crabs from last year? Yeah, those mo fo's suck arse.
Anyhoot, the boat was way off balance. Given that we got out late on account of the sun showers, we did a shorter than normal run, which was a good thing because at one point I thought my ass was going to fall off. No, seriously, I did. Now I don't want to blame the newbies but I'll tell ya, someone referred to it as an octopus for a reason...we just couldn't get our shit together no matter how hard we tried.
So, just before our last 500 m into the boat house, our coxie gave us a break. I took the opportunity to ask a question as you know only I can...the convo went something like this:
Coxie: okay everyone, take a break for a second
Me: Umm, excuse me (from 6 people down in the boat), can I ask a question?
C: sure 3 seat, go ahead
M: Um, why is my right butt cheek hurting so much?
C: Because port side is keeling and you're trying to compensate for it with your body and throwing your body weight. If you do what you're supposed to do and everyone else does, you won't have to balance like that.
M: So it's the boat's fault (btw, this is how we refer to our team - 'the boat') that my ass hurts?
*insert chuckles from the rest of the crew*
C: Yes, your crew mates are the pain in your ass tonight
M: Okay, thanks
Yeah, you know they love me at the rowing club.
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