So, I'm stopped at the traffic light at Hunt Club and Bank yesterday morning and I see a big truck going by with something sticking out of the back box. Lots of things really and they look funny so I pay attention.
What were they you ask?
OLD SCHOOL GAS PUMPS!
MOUAH AH AH AH AH! DOWN with the old school gas pumps!
I am, and will continue to be, VICTORIOUS in my plight to remain gas pump ignorant!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Way to make your colleague feel appreciated
So, I heard about - wait, ever notice I start a lot of posts with So or Okay? - the most ridiculous way to make a colleague feel appreciated today at work. BTW, that's dripping with sarcasm text which is why it's in italics - for emphasis. Not like it will be needed after I tell ya this little ditty.
When one colleague was speaking to another she commented that her name and extension was left off of the office unit's phone list yet again to which said colleague mentioned that the administrator who makes up the list won't put her name on it, regardless of the fact that she's asked for it several times, because...wait, you ready for this???
She's not a permanent employee.
Yup - guess priority 2 status in the union means you don't make it onto our phone lists.
Can you believe that?
What's even worse is that this is amongst colleagues that this is being done. It's not even like big bad Employer (did you catch that capital E?) is doing this as CUPE likes to brainwash us into thinking that we're unappreciated in our jobs by our Employer. It's one colleague to another. I swear, I don't know what's happening at work these days but this is just another prime example of how we all seem to be going at one another like rabid dogs. Where did congeniality go? Where did "all working towards a common goal" go? WTF?
But most importantly, where did professionalism go?
When one colleague was speaking to another she commented that her name and extension was left off of the office unit's phone list yet again to which said colleague mentioned that the administrator who makes up the list won't put her name on it, regardless of the fact that she's asked for it several times, because...wait, you ready for this???
She's not a permanent employee.
Yup - guess priority 2 status in the union means you don't make it onto our phone lists.
Can you believe that?
What's even worse is that this is amongst colleagues that this is being done. It's not even like big bad Employer (did you catch that capital E?) is doing this as CUPE likes to brainwash us into thinking that we're unappreciated in our jobs by our Employer. It's one colleague to another. I swear, I don't know what's happening at work these days but this is just another prime example of how we all seem to be going at one another like rabid dogs. Where did congeniality go? Where did "all working towards a common goal" go? WTF?
But most importantly, where did professionalism go?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I want your honest answer
Okay, how old do I look? Seriously, put away the fact that I'm referring to this year's birthday hoopla as my dirty 30 and tell me how old I look.
In the last 6 months, I've had everything from 25-36. Yes, 36. The best one I got was a few weeks ago by some stranger at a BBQ I crashed with S who said I looked 30 with youthful skin. How nice was that?!?!
But after today's reaction by the cable guy that I was the home owner, it leads me to wonder, how old do I really look? Do the pudgy cheeks and healthy glow (read I was a dumbass and didn't put on sunscreen during the 5 hour bike ride this weekend) really make that much of a difference? Are my days of worrying about being carded at the liquor store soon to be over in your opinion?
So really, weigh in and tell me how old you think I look. I'm curious.
In the last 6 months, I've had everything from 25-36. Yes, 36. The best one I got was a few weeks ago by some stranger at a BBQ I crashed with S who said I looked 30 with youthful skin. How nice was that?!?!
But after today's reaction by the cable guy that I was the home owner, it leads me to wonder, how old do I really look? Do the pudgy cheeks and healthy glow (read I was a dumbass and didn't put on sunscreen during the 5 hour bike ride this weekend) really make that much of a difference? Are my days of worrying about being carded at the liquor store soon to be over in your opinion?
So really, weigh in and tell me how old you think I look. I'm curious.
Too rich not to share
So, online dating. It's not really my thing I don't think. I think I'm too much of an introvert. I don't like men that come on strong and it seems that I'm attracting types that aren't my type. But whatever, it's free and it's (somewhat) anonymous so who cares.
Now, the best part is reading through some of the guys' profiles to see what they think will attract women. Like my new favourite one: Likethembig
Oh, you can see where this is going, can't you?!?!
Here's his subtext after his name: looking for a very large chested woman
Interests? I enjoy large boobs
First paragraph of his profile: I am looking For a woman who is extremely large chested I haven’t found a woman big enough yet. If you are a DD cup, DDD cup or larger (if you do exist) or if you have a friend who fits this description please message me
The following paragraphs sound kinda normal. Except for his horrendous punctuation, writing style and spelling but hey, he's apparently smart - or so he claims. BTW, I didn't change his writing in any of those texts - can I get a woot woot for how s-m-r-t he is?
Anyways, here's the kicker: Likethembig is on 5 people's favourites list. 5 WOMEN THINK HE'S ALL THAT AND PUT THEM ON THEIR FAVOURITES LIST! How the hell am I only on 3 people's favourites list and he gets to be on 5 people's favourites list. WTF? Are we women really that desperate to add the likes of him to our lists?
Again, me thinks this online dating thing isn't for me.
Now, the best part is reading through some of the guys' profiles to see what they think will attract women. Like my new favourite one: Likethembig
Oh, you can see where this is going, can't you?!?!
Here's his subtext after his name: looking for a very large chested woman
Interests? I enjoy large boobs
First paragraph of his profile: I am looking For a woman who is extremely large chested I haven’t found a woman big enough yet. If you are a DD cup, DDD cup or larger (if you do exist) or if you have a friend who fits this description please message me
The following paragraphs sound kinda normal. Except for his horrendous punctuation, writing style and spelling but hey, he's apparently smart - or so he claims. BTW, I didn't change his writing in any of those texts - can I get a woot woot for how s-m-r-t he is?
Anyways, here's the kicker: Likethembig is on 5 people's favourites list. 5 WOMEN THINK HE'S ALL THAT AND PUT THEM ON THEIR FAVOURITES LIST! How the hell am I only on 3 people's favourites list and he gets to be on 5 people's favourites list. WTF? Are we women really that desperate to add the likes of him to our lists?
Again, me thinks this online dating thing isn't for me.
Pivotal moments in life
So, a few months ago I saw this thing somewhere (whoa, hold back on that articulation there, L) news brief on a random website about this guy in Australia who is selling his life (http://www.alife4sale.com/). Selling his house, all his belongings, his friends and his job on Ebay. Why? He had divorced from his wife and needed a change - a big one. Even better - someone bought it for $399k (or thereabouts).
He then started a new website (http://www.100goals100weeks.com/index.php) where he's got all these goals he wants to accomplish in the next 100 weeks (almost 2 years for those of you who aren't in the mood to do math). There are some pretty interesting ones (learn to fly a plane) and the dirty little secret ones thatI some of us have always wanted to do but never had the cojones or opportunity to (ie. join the mile high club).
So it's gotten me to thinking that I need my own 100 goals in 100 years (hey, I don't have the funds to get it all done in 100 weeks). My next post will be the start of that list - and I'd like for you all to add to it. Be it something that you yourself have done and think I just have to experience or if it's something you yourself want to do and just want to share.
I'm sure that it'll be an interesting list knowing you lot.
He then started a new website (http://www.100goals100weeks.com/index.php) where he's got all these goals he wants to accomplish in the next 100 weeks (almost 2 years for those of you who aren't in the mood to do math). There are some pretty interesting ones (learn to fly a plane) and the dirty little secret ones that
So it's gotten me to thinking that I need my own 100 goals in 100 years (hey, I don't have the funds to get it all done in 100 weeks). My next post will be the start of that list - and I'd like for you all to add to it. Be it something that you yourself have done and think I just have to experience or if it's something you yourself want to do and just want to share.
I'm sure that it'll be an interesting list knowing you lot.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Apparently that's 3rd year
So, I had another B&G moment tonight. I stubbed the hell outta my baby toe. Ow...and other profanities. I thought, meh, it hurts for a while and then it goes away.
But it's not going away, it's getting worse. And it hurts to walk. And it hurts down the side of my foot like along the bone/tendon for that toe. Let me just say again - OW.
So I did what I'm sure every person in a health care position hates, I asked the resident dr. to be if she knew how to tell if it was broken. Apparently, that wasn't covered in 1st year. She's pretty convinced it's just sprained.
Hmmmm - only because it's Sunday and I don't really want to go tomorrow - think I could take the day off for this? hmmmm...
But it's not going away, it's getting worse. And it hurts to walk. And it hurts down the side of my foot like along the bone/tendon for that toe. Let me just say again - OW.
So I did what I'm sure every person in a health care position hates, I asked the resident dr. to be if she knew how to tell if it was broken. Apparently, that wasn't covered in 1st year. She's pretty convinced it's just sprained.
Hmmmm - only because it's Sunday and I don't really want to go tomorrow - think I could take the day off for this? hmmmm...
The New Roommate
I realized today that I have yet to blog about the new roommate even though she's been living in my house for the last 4.5 days. I think mostly, besides being really super busy this last week, that I wanted to let her grow on me before I rant and rave...yeah, that's not going to happen.
So, I knew that this would be a difficult thing for me - taking on someone living in my space after almost 8 months of blissful solitude. Yes, it was blissful. Moments of sadness and loneliness but nonetheless, blissfully enjoyable. I got to rise and shine as I pleased, come and go as I wish and not worry about doing dishes right away. These past 4 days I've tried to walk on eggshells to make her feel comfortable but she said to me today three words I will try and live by (okay, technically it's 4 but one's a contraction - there, that grammatic insight makes up for the rest of my grammar and spelling errors from this point on in this blog).
It's my house.
That's right, it's my house. Granted, she stops around like an elephant at 6:30 in the morning on the weekend and she's neurotic about her personal stuff - did I mention that she won't even leave her laundry soap in the laundry room or dish washing sponge beside the sink? But it's my house. And if I choose to have a dirty 30 birthday party (which save the date now for people!), it's my house. And if I need her to get up at 7 am to move her car because she won't do herself the courtesy and leave the keys by the door for me to move it for her, it's my house. These are the rules, this is the contract.
Overall, she's incredibly neat, quite quiet (except for walking like an elephant and slamming around upstairs at 6:30 am - can you tell my hangover this am didn't appreciate it?), and keeps to herself. It could be worse, right?
Still, I'm having a hard time adjusting to the idea that someone else is in the house. The noises that are made are mostly what I have a hard time with. For months I've listened intently thinking that an axe murderer is in the house while I'm watching tv in the basement or the inevitable nocturnal bumps keep me awake but now that there's someone else here, I really didn't realize just how much I like peace and quiet.
This leaves me with the bigger pondering that I'll throw out to the cosmic void...how hard will it be for me to adjust to living with another mate, should life lead me on that path?
So, I knew that this would be a difficult thing for me - taking on someone living in my space after almost 8 months of blissful solitude. Yes, it was blissful. Moments of sadness and loneliness but nonetheless, blissfully enjoyable. I got to rise and shine as I pleased, come and go as I wish and not worry about doing dishes right away. These past 4 days I've tried to walk on eggshells to make her feel comfortable but she said to me today three words I will try and live by (okay, technically it's 4 but one's a contraction - there, that grammatic insight makes up for the rest of my grammar and spelling errors from this point on in this blog).
It's my house.
That's right, it's my house. Granted, she stops around like an elephant at 6:30 in the morning on the weekend and she's neurotic about her personal stuff - did I mention that she won't even leave her laundry soap in the laundry room or dish washing sponge beside the sink? But it's my house. And if I choose to have a dirty 30 birthday party (which save the date now for people!), it's my house. And if I need her to get up at 7 am to move her car because she won't do herself the courtesy and leave the keys by the door for me to move it for her, it's my house. These are the rules, this is the contract.
Overall, she's incredibly neat, quite quiet (except for walking like an elephant and slamming around upstairs at 6:30 am - can you tell my hangover this am didn't appreciate it?), and keeps to herself. It could be worse, right?
Still, I'm having a hard time adjusting to the idea that someone else is in the house. The noises that are made are mostly what I have a hard time with. For months I've listened intently thinking that an axe murderer is in the house while I'm watching tv in the basement or the inevitable nocturnal bumps keep me awake but now that there's someone else here, I really didn't realize just how much I like peace and quiet.
This leaves me with the bigger pondering that I'll throw out to the cosmic void...how hard will it be for me to adjust to living with another mate, should life lead me on that path?
Friday, August 22, 2008
What's on TV today
So, I took a quick look to see what was on TV this afternoon and I see that I'm already getting a sneak peak at the new season premiers.
Read: I'm looking out the window at work and I can see that there's already trees that are turning colour - fall is here. And as unlady like as it is, I have a one word mental response to this:
Fuck.
Read: I'm looking out the window at work and I can see that there's already trees that are turning colour - fall is here. And as unlady like as it is, I have a one word mental response to this:
Fuck.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Busy fall
I keep harping on the amount of travel I'm going to be doing this fall because 1) I love to travel and 2) I'm a little bit nervous about how I'm going to manage to get it all done.
So, in addition to this, I've also signed myself up for some physical punishment. I'm playing softball with C on Sundays, dodgeball with S and M (those are actually people, not some twisted new game I'm making up in my head to go with my fantasy weekends and my new beau) on Mondays and then badminton with A on Thursdays. On top of that, my treadmill will still get a workout by me, as will the pool and, if C can sneak me in, the stepper in the step aerobics class. I really wanted to keep myself up to par physically to match the mental exhaustion I will have AND to keep me busy now that I'm no longer living alone - no, fantasy beau hasn't moved in, the roommate finally has.
Plus, starting in November, I'll be looking for new people, and returning victim's if they'd like, to sign up for my "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" cooking lessons. Sign up now with your signature dish! ;o)
So, in addition to this, I've also signed myself up for some physical punishment. I'm playing softball with C on Sundays, dodgeball with S and M (those are actually people, not some twisted new game I'm making up in my head to go with my fantasy weekends and my new beau) on Mondays and then badminton with A on Thursdays. On top of that, my treadmill will still get a workout by me, as will the pool and, if C can sneak me in, the stepper in the step aerobics class. I really wanted to keep myself up to par physically to match the mental exhaustion I will have AND to keep me busy now that I'm no longer living alone - no, fantasy beau hasn't moved in, the roommate finally has.
Plus, starting in November, I'll be looking for new people, and returning victim's if they'd like, to sign up for my "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" cooking lessons. Sign up now with your signature dish! ;o)
Hell has frozen over
Okay, admittedly, I've LOVED the weather this summer. I don't deal well with the heat, as I'm sure you all know based on my bitching and complaining most summers, so this summer has been FABOO for this Northern gal. However, I'm a little disheartened at all the rain these days so I just have to remark on something before it's too late.
My office mate, J, and I fondly refer to our wall of windows as "the TV" in our office. It provides temporary distraction when you hit writer's block, it's easy to gauge the weather as we play bigbrother sister(s) and watch the students attire and accessories (umbrellas, etc.) as they scurry from building to building, and on occasion, especially when it's snowing really hard, it provides lengthier entertainment as we watch idiots do doughnuts in the parking lot or get stuck and have to push each other out.
So, as I look out today, the strangest thing ISN'T on the TV today:
I don't see a cloud ANYWHERE in the sky! Can you believe it? Not one. Not even a little pouffy one to ruin the perfectly blue canvass.
Hell has obviously frozen over.
My office mate, J, and I fondly refer to our wall of windows as "the TV" in our office. It provides temporary distraction when you hit writer's block, it's easy to gauge the weather as we play big
So, as I look out today, the strangest thing ISN'T on the TV today:
I don't see a cloud ANYWHERE in the sky! Can you believe it? Not one. Not even a little pouffy one to ruin the perfectly blue canvass.
Hell has obviously frozen over.
The value of a life
How do you put a pricetag on the value of a life? It's a question I'm grappling with these days as my mature cat enters old age and I'm forced to deal with mounting vet bills.
Relative to everything else, the vet bills are nowhere near extreme but well, on a single income, they start to add up. And now I'm faced with the dilemma of what do to about them.
Here's the deal - my 14.75 year old cat has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. What this is doing to her is eating away at her muscle mass and she's constantly eating. She's lost close to 1/4 of her body weight from when she went in in January of 07 until her checkup this year in July 07. For a cat, that's a lot. For ANYONE, that's a lot. But I'm now trying to figure out the best treatment method. So bear with me while I go through the options:
Option #1: Pills. I have to give her 1/2 a pill 2 times per day for the rest of her life. Cost is about $66.50/3 months (so there goes the latte factor) and then blood work 2-4 times per year at a cost of $130/time. Overall, this will cost me between $526-746/year depending on the number of times she needs to go in for blood work. Pros: It's affordable right now and it's hard to say how long this will be a cost depending on how much longer she lives. Cons: It's going to become the more expensive method over time if she lives for anything more than about 3 more years AND I have to arrange for her to be medicated while I'm away. Good-bye to the days of mountainous bowls of food and water while I whisk off for the weekend with my new beau (hey, I can fantasize, can't I?) or more realistically, to see my brother and his ever growing family. Plus, there's the twice daily battle of finding new and ingenious ways to get her to eat it without having to just shove it down her throat (which I have yet to resort to - YET being the operative word).
Option #2: Transdermal gel. It's the same as the pills for how it's given (ie. twice a day) just it's dabbed into her ear. Cost? $35.79/month and she still needs to have bloodwork done. Pros: It's easier for people to have to deal with if I have someone come in to take care of her and it'll be easier on me than trying to bribe her twice a day with Fancy Feast (to which I'm grateful to JJ and J for introducing it to me in a convoluted way). Cons: It's more expensive, I have to pick up the prescription monthly, and I still have the (fantasy) weekends to have to worry about.
Option #3: Radioactive Iodine Treatment. One time deal where she stays at the vet for 7-10 days because she'll be, get this, radioactive, and then it should cure her from that point on. No more blood tests beyond maybe one per year and that's it. Cost: (gulp) $1500-1800. Pros: No messing around, no hassle, no worries - bring on the (fantasy) weekends! It'll also have paid for itself if she lives another 3 years (compared cost to cheapest method being the pills). Cons: It's pretty hard on her system so she may not even qualify for the treatment and it's bloody expensive. I can just hear the little Visa devils cackling as they rub their hands together in anticipation of having my by the cojones over this one.
So what to do? This is also in relation to her feline companion who has a chipped tooth that may need to be removed soon. *sigh* I know that this is what you take on with pet ownership but man, it doesn't make it any easier.
Relative to everything else, the vet bills are nowhere near extreme but well, on a single income, they start to add up. And now I'm faced with the dilemma of what do to about them.
Here's the deal - my 14.75 year old cat has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. What this is doing to her is eating away at her muscle mass and she's constantly eating. She's lost close to 1/4 of her body weight from when she went in in January of 07 until her checkup this year in July 07. For a cat, that's a lot. For ANYONE, that's a lot. But I'm now trying to figure out the best treatment method. So bear with me while I go through the options:
Option #1: Pills. I have to give her 1/2 a pill 2 times per day for the rest of her life. Cost is about $66.50/3 months (so there goes the latte factor) and then blood work 2-4 times per year at a cost of $130/time. Overall, this will cost me between $526-746/year depending on the number of times she needs to go in for blood work. Pros: It's affordable right now and it's hard to say how long this will be a cost depending on how much longer she lives. Cons: It's going to become the more expensive method over time if she lives for anything more than about 3 more years AND I have to arrange for her to be medicated while I'm away. Good-bye to the days of mountainous bowls of food and water while I whisk off for the weekend with my new beau (hey, I can fantasize, can't I?) or more realistically, to see my brother and his ever growing family. Plus, there's the twice daily battle of finding new and ingenious ways to get her to eat it without having to just shove it down her throat (which I have yet to resort to - YET being the operative word).
Option #2: Transdermal gel. It's the same as the pills for how it's given (ie. twice a day) just it's dabbed into her ear. Cost? $35.79/month and she still needs to have bloodwork done. Pros: It's easier for people to have to deal with if I have someone come in to take care of her and it'll be easier on me than trying to bribe her twice a day with Fancy Feast (to which I'm grateful to JJ and J for introducing it to me in a convoluted way). Cons: It's more expensive, I have to pick up the prescription monthly, and I still have the (fantasy) weekends to have to worry about.
Option #3: Radioactive Iodine Treatment. One time deal where she stays at the vet for 7-10 days because she'll be, get this, radioactive, and then it should cure her from that point on. No more blood tests beyond maybe one per year and that's it. Cost: (gulp) $1500-1800. Pros: No messing around, no hassle, no worries - bring on the (fantasy) weekends! It'll also have paid for itself if she lives another 3 years (compared cost to cheapest method being the pills). Cons: It's pretty hard on her system so she may not even qualify for the treatment and it's bloody expensive. I can just hear the little Visa devils cackling as they rub their hands together in anticipation of having my by the cojones over this one.
So what to do? This is also in relation to her feline companion who has a chipped tooth that may need to be removed soon. *sigh* I know that this is what you take on with pet ownership but man, it doesn't make it any easier.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Another work classic despair.com
C sent this one today. LOVE it.
You can just see how it would read, eh?
WTF? Stamp
When a date stamp just isn't good enough.
You can just see how it would read, eh?
WTF? Stamp
When a date stamp just isn't good enough.
Wonky boob follow up
So I opened up my web browser and good ole' National Geographic came up as my home page. This was one of the top 5 stories it's featuring today:
Apparently my observation about the graphic in that ad was bang on in terms of saying, hmmm, something not right (ie. unattractive). What's more depressing is I outed myself in my lack of symmetry and now I will forever remain single. EXCELLENT!
Symmetrical Bodies Are More Beautiful to Humans
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/08/080818-body-symmetry.htmlApparently my observation about the graphic in that ad was bang on in terms of saying, hmmm, something not right (ie. unattractive). What's more depressing is I outed myself in my lack of symmetry and now I will forever remain single. EXCELLENT!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Uber cool Olympics website
There was a long convoluted way that I got to finding this site but let's just say it started with D's serious dislike of Ian Handsome-man-thing.
Anyways, I found this site by the NY Times that shows you the medal counts of each Olympics in growing/shrinking circles (yeah, I know there's a technical term for it but I just had lunch and I'm feeling kinda stupid and sleepy) in geographic representation of the Earth of each country's medal counts for as far back as 1896. If you scroll down, you'll see the numeric list and you can roll over the bubble of the country and see the count as well.
Useless fun for my friends with Olympic fever...
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/08/04/sports/olympics/20080804_MEDALCOUNT_MAP.html
Oh, even cooler! You can click on the circle for the country and then when you scroll down it shows you which athletes have won which medal. Hats off to you, NY Times!
Anyways, I found this site by the NY Times that shows you the medal counts of each Olympics in growing/shrinking circles (yeah, I know there's a technical term for it but I just had lunch and I'm feeling kinda stupid and sleepy) in geographic representation of the Earth of each country's medal counts for as far back as 1896. If you scroll down, you'll see the numeric list and you can roll over the bubble of the country and see the count as well.
Useless fun for my friends with Olympic fever...
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/08/04/sports/olympics/20080804_MEDALCOUNT_MAP.html
Oh, even cooler! You can click on the circle for the country and then when you scroll down it shows you which athletes have won which medal. Hats off to you, NY Times!
I just can't do it
It's not a phrase I like to utter, the subject line of this post. I like to think that I'd prefer to say "I'm just not good at it" and maybe one day (because it'll mean I've finally had a date) "I'm just not that into you". But really, I just can't do it.
What is it, you ask? Well, it's really not THAT juicy. I can't, no matter how hard I try, finish this stupid, piece of crap disguised as a literary classic novel that my new book club has selected. When I say new, really, I'm just a book club crasher who joined this month. This painful experience, which will undoubtedly lead to me being kicked out of the book club before I even get started, will teach me to be a little bit more strategic in my timing of crashing.
What novel, you ask? Wuthering Heights. Yes, some of you will gasp in horror that I'm calling it a piece of crap and there will be outcries that I'm an uncultured heathen for never having read it before or because I hate it. And then there will be some of you that will tell me to "give it a chance". If, after 2 weeks of reading it EVERY night before bed, I'm still only 20 pages in, it's a piece of crap and I just can't do it. Let's put it this way - I would rather PUMP GAS than read this book - that's how much I hate it.
This is where I think to myself that my personal philosophy on reading is at fundamental odds with the book club phenomenon. I really feel that life is too short to read crap you don't like. Plus, I hate, as in H-A-T-E sitting around and discussing the novel after the fact like I'm back in grade 12 English class. I can't describe to you the sheer jubilation I felt when writing my last English lit exam in university I realized that I would never again use words like protagonist, symbolism or climax. (Well, okay, maybe climax shouldn't be struck from my vocab just yet. ;o) ) I'm a read it, like it, don't, whatever - on to the next! kinda gal.
So really, what am I doing in yet another book club - and I'm sure those of you who have been in one with me before are also scratching your head at my perceived need for mental anguish. I'm trying to take the advice of my friend E and "get out there, join new things, meet new people, blah blah blah." But I think this is one where I've set myself up for misery in some way.
So, the up shot is really, anyone know of any movies based on WH? After all, I really don't want to be perceived (even if it is rightly so) as the new girl who hated the book, didn't read it, and really just came for the snacks.
And A, no outing me to the rest of book club, okay? And JJ, I may be rethinking joining your book club now.
What is it, you ask? Well, it's really not THAT juicy. I can't, no matter how hard I try, finish this stupid, piece of crap disguised as a literary classic novel that my new book club has selected. When I say new, really, I'm just a book club crasher who joined this month. This painful experience, which will undoubtedly lead to me being kicked out of the book club before I even get started, will teach me to be a little bit more strategic in my timing of crashing.
What novel, you ask? Wuthering Heights. Yes, some of you will gasp in horror that I'm calling it a piece of crap and there will be outcries that I'm an uncultured heathen for never having read it before or because I hate it. And then there will be some of you that will tell me to "give it a chance". If, after 2 weeks of reading it EVERY night before bed, I'm still only 20 pages in, it's a piece of crap and I just can't do it. Let's put it this way - I would rather PUMP GAS than read this book - that's how much I hate it.
This is where I think to myself that my personal philosophy on reading is at fundamental odds with the book club phenomenon. I really feel that life is too short to read crap you don't like. Plus, I hate, as in H-A-T-E sitting around and discussing the novel after the fact like I'm back in grade 12 English class. I can't describe to you the sheer jubilation I felt when writing my last English lit exam in university I realized that I would never again use words like protagonist, symbolism or climax. (Well, okay, maybe climax shouldn't be struck from my vocab just yet. ;o) ) I'm a read it, like it, don't, whatever - on to the next! kinda gal.
So really, what am I doing in yet another book club - and I'm sure those of you who have been in one with me before are also scratching your head at my perceived need for mental anguish. I'm trying to take the advice of my friend E and "get out there, join new things, meet new people, blah blah blah." But I think this is one where I've set myself up for misery in some way.
So, the up shot is really, anyone know of any movies based on WH? After all, I really don't want to be perceived (even if it is rightly so) as the new girl who hated the book, didn't read it, and really just came for the snacks.
And A, no outing me to the rest of book club, okay? And JJ, I may be rethinking joining your book club now.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Just how big IS that "kick me" sign?
Disclaimer: the following blog post is filled with self pity and woe is me commentary. The comments are those of the author and she wishes to apologize for her whining in advance. No action is necessary save for rolling of eyes and perhaps a pat on back with patronizing "there, there" next time you see her because we all know in the grand scheme of things, her life is pretty fucking swell and she shouldn't be complaining.
SO seriously, how big is that #&$*#$*& "kick me" sign on my back? I just want to know because while I know everything comes in threes, does it need to come that frequently in threes?
Like today for example. I can't for the life of me figure out why my internet connection keeps dropping. On the up side, S told me she's had problems with Rogers and that they (being Rogers) has admitted to the fact that with the weather this summer, they've been experiencing a lot of technical difficulties. To this I say, okay, I maybe need a new modem and WTF, Rogers, you didn't know we lived in Canada where you pretty much need to make your technology and equipment sturdy enough to stand a nuclear war in order to survive our weather?
Bad luck #2 - The other day I noticed mouse droppings on the shelf behind my laundry soap. Granted, it's not the nicest laundry room but I'll be honest, the decades long cobwebs are still in there from when I moved in a year ago so I doubted that they were fresh. Well, they were fresh alright, but I won't be getting any more of them. No, I did not set a trap and catch a mouse (because I hadn't seen one with my own two eyes) but tonight I came home to do some laundry and found...the mouse had died of apparent natural causes beside my laundry soap. EWWWWWW! I don't even know what to pick it up with. And I feel just terrible. Thinking about it makes me shudder. And let me say one more time for the record....EWWWWWW!
Bad luck #3 - I've been struggling to get my almost 15 year old cat to eat her new thyroid meds. Her fawn friend has a broken tooth that needs to be pulled but whatever, we'll get to that soon enough. However, while trying to reset my #*&%&%^$& modem for the umpteenth time today, she came into the storage room to use the litter box and stunk me outta the room. When I could finally get back into the room, I looked down to the litter box to find that her poop had blood in it. Great, just fucking great. Another thing to deal with with the vet.
So to this I say ENOUGH already today! I know it's a full moon and I did my due diligence to NOT run into the crazies by avoiding all places the like to hang out (like any mall) and it's seems that the insanity follows me anyways. BAHH!
Rational inside voice: Be glad you have the internet even if it's tempermental sometimes. Be glad you have a laundry room and the means to do laundry as not all people are that fortunate. Be glad you have two cats that have shown you unconditional love in your times of need and helping them through their gray years is the least that you can do.
Irrational inside voice: Mother#&$&#$ #&$#$*#4 $$&%^(@(#$ %&%^$*#*$*$
SO seriously, how big is that #&$*#$*& "kick me" sign on my back? I just want to know because while I know everything comes in threes, does it need to come that frequently in threes?
Like today for example. I can't for the life of me figure out why my internet connection keeps dropping. On the up side, S told me she's had problems with Rogers and that they (being Rogers) has admitted to the fact that with the weather this summer, they've been experiencing a lot of technical difficulties. To this I say, okay, I maybe need a new modem and WTF, Rogers, you didn't know we lived in Canada where you pretty much need to make your technology and equipment sturdy enough to stand a nuclear war in order to survive our weather?
Bad luck #2 - The other day I noticed mouse droppings on the shelf behind my laundry soap. Granted, it's not the nicest laundry room but I'll be honest, the decades long cobwebs are still in there from when I moved in a year ago so I doubted that they were fresh. Well, they were fresh alright, but I won't be getting any more of them. No, I did not set a trap and catch a mouse (because I hadn't seen one with my own two eyes) but tonight I came home to do some laundry and found...the mouse had died of apparent natural causes beside my laundry soap. EWWWWWW! I don't even know what to pick it up with. And I feel just terrible. Thinking about it makes me shudder. And let me say one more time for the record....EWWWWWW!
Bad luck #3 - I've been struggling to get my almost 15 year old cat to eat her new thyroid meds. Her fawn friend has a broken tooth that needs to be pulled but whatever, we'll get to that soon enough. However, while trying to reset my #*&%&%^$& modem for the umpteenth time today, she came into the storage room to use the litter box and stunk me outta the room. When I could finally get back into the room, I looked down to the litter box to find that her poop had blood in it. Great, just fucking great. Another thing to deal with with the vet.
So to this I say ENOUGH already today! I know it's a full moon and I did my due diligence to NOT run into the crazies by avoiding all places the like to hang out (like any mall) and it's seems that the insanity follows me anyways. BAHH!
Rational inside voice: Be glad you have the internet even if it's tempermental sometimes. Be glad you have a laundry room and the means to do laundry as not all people are that fortunate. Be glad you have two cats that have shown you unconditional love in your times of need and helping them through their gray years is the least that you can do.
Irrational inside voice: Mother#&$&#$ #&$#$*#4 $$&%^(@(#$ %&%^$*#*$*$
Friday, August 15, 2008
Churches make me laugh
No, I did not go to church - are you kidding?!? It's bad enough I get dragged as a faux E&C Catholic where I then stand around looking at all the creepy paintings of Jesus on his way to being crucified and then the crucifixion and the resurrection. I tell ya, I feel like saying to the priest, there are kids here in the audience! Seriously, it's like they want to scare the bejesus (pun intended) outta you so you'll sit in quiet fear during the ceremony (whoops, mass, sorry). And then, to top it off, I've been chastised outta church before for not crossing myself or kneeling. Okay, you neanderthals, you don't think that I can't hear you in the pew behind me? Some all forgiving Catholics that lot was. (Real irony, next Christmas, little Tommy behind me had gotten his GF knocked up. Last I checked, this heathen still hadn't had children out of wedlock!)
Anyways, back to the point of the story. So, I'm off to JJ&J's house for my last cat-sitting duty. I forgot the camera to take a picture of the living room for you but if JJ gives me permission, I'll blog about it because it's just too funny. I think every time I'm left alone in their house I find something that makes them a little quirkier than I am ;o)
Anyways, I'm driving along and I see a sign at the church. You know, one of those signs that you put in the letters to spell words and then someone inevitably comes along and removes letters and then your sign is full of cussing and profanities? Anyways, this sign says "ASAP. Always say a prayer." It made me chuckle. Like that sign is REALLY going to beef up the declining numbers you've had over the past years. Seriously, come on. Thing is though, I'm seeing more and more and more of them these days. Some are light hearted and sometimes even crack jokes and others are very foreboding and again, play up the whole fear concept again.
All this to say, this wasn't a very well thought out post but I just wanted to say that churches make me laugh. Okay, it's been a few days since I mocked fun at organized religion and well, a gal's gotta secure that one-way ticket to hell and I wanna do it in style. Champagne andmashuga nuts all the way, baby!
Anyways, back to the point of the story. So, I'm off to JJ&J's house for my last cat-sitting duty. I forgot the camera to take a picture of the living room for you but if JJ gives me permission, I'll blog about it because it's just too funny. I think every time I'm left alone in their house I find something that makes them a little quirkier than I am ;o)
Anyways, I'm driving along and I see a sign at the church. You know, one of those signs that you put in the letters to spell words and then someone inevitably comes along and removes letters and then your sign is full of cussing and profanities? Anyways, this sign says "ASAP. Always say a prayer." It made me chuckle. Like that sign is REALLY going to beef up the declining numbers you've had over the past years. Seriously, come on. Thing is though, I'm seeing more and more and more of them these days. Some are light hearted and sometimes even crack jokes and others are very foreboding and again, play up the whole fear concept again.
All this to say, this wasn't a very well thought out post but I just wanted to say that churches make me laugh. Okay, it's been a few days since I mocked fun at organized religion and well, a gal's gotta secure that one-way ticket to hell and I wanna do it in style. Champagne andmashuga nuts all the way, baby!
Rogers sucks
I've been having problems with my internet connection today, if you've been disappointed that there wasn't anything showing up for you to read. I think Rogers sucks. I think that the modem they've rented me sucks more. I think I'm going to exchange it. Apparently, I've been doing a lot of thinking.
Anyways, my day wasn't as productive as it should have been. No new nephew but I cancelled all my plans anyways which left my day wide open to be productive. So what did I do? I got up early, took out the garbage, watched Sicko and then crawled back into bed to pet the cat. 3 hours later, I woke up and have been trying to make up for the lost time ever since. BAH! The to do list is growing exponentially of things to do before B arrives on Monday and the roommate arrives on Wednesday. Why oh why have I procrastinated so?
Hope you all had a great day. This weekend is filled with the ball tourney so don't be looking for much outta me, oh loyal fan club.
Epilogue: I did do ONE interesting thing today. I ran over my recycling bin. Okay, I didn't really RUN it over, I just kinda dragged it outta the driveway before I thought, WTF is that noise? It's okay, my car's okay and it was before rush hour so no neighbours saw - not like they all don't think I'm a nutbar anyways. I was the hit of the neighbourhood last night with R on the roof and the ladder on my balcony. Everyone came by to see what was going on. Apparently my neighbours don't get out much...
Anyways, my day wasn't as productive as it should have been. No new nephew but I cancelled all my plans anyways which left my day wide open to be productive. So what did I do? I got up early, took out the garbage, watched Sicko and then crawled back into bed to pet the cat. 3 hours later, I woke up and have been trying to make up for the lost time ever since. BAH! The to do list is growing exponentially of things to do before B arrives on Monday and the roommate arrives on Wednesday. Why oh why have I procrastinated so?
Hope you all had a great day. This weekend is filled with the ball tourney so don't be looking for much outta me, oh loyal fan club.
Epilogue: I did do ONE interesting thing today. I ran over my recycling bin. Okay, I didn't really RUN it over, I just kinda dragged it outta the driveway before I thought, WTF is that noise? It's okay, my car's okay and it was before rush hour so no neighbours saw - not like they all don't think I'm a nutbar anyways. I was the hit of the neighbourhood last night with R on the roof and the ladder on my balcony. Everyone came by to see what was going on. Apparently my neighbours don't get out much...
Thursday, August 14, 2008
New despair.com poster
I laughed so hard I cried at this one so I had to share with you all. Full props go out to QueenA for sending this to me at work. It made my day.
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
It also has to go in the ponderings and raging categories. But unless you actually push, it won't fall in the "one way ticket to hell" category.Okay, WTF?
This ad in Facebook has been bugging me for a couple of weeks now. I couldn't figure out what it was about it but now I know. The Sesame Street song "one of these things is not like the other" comes to mind. Why is her right boob (ie. your left when you're looking at it) so much larger than her left one? Perhaps it's the way that they're sitting? The angle of the camera? Now I know that we're not all perfectly symmetrical and all (hell, I'm not and if I catch you all staring at my chest the next time I see you I'll now know why), but still, doesn't that look....wonky?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Looking for a volunteer
I need a volunteer to educate me on what should be basic car owner knowledge.
I went to get gas today at the cheap place near JJ and J's house (I had to go feed the cats before I could put my poor sick butt to bed) and I noticed last time I was out there that the gas was cheaper than it is near my place - by almost 5 cents!
So I pulled into the gas station and thought, "hmmm, something doesn't look right here. Maybe because it's an Ultramar station and I normally go to Esso?" (Just wait, C, you haven't converted me to being an Ultramar fan yet.) I get out of the car with my bank card, and go to put it into the pump (I'm a pay at the pump kinda gal. The longer I can hide the fact that I'm just pretending to know what I'm doing when I pump gas from the rest of the world, the better. After all, I'm maybe up to 15 times that I've pumped - IN MY LIFE!)
But wait, there's no paying at this pump. Shit. This is an "old school" gas station. There's like levers to flip, etc. Being theprissy, neurotically-scared-to-death-to-pump-gas freak that I am impatiently sick person I was, I panicked made like I forgot something and got back in my car and drove down the street to a gas station that was newer where I could pay-at-the-pump.
Okay, now either stop with the eye rolling or stop laughing and pick yourself up off the floor because I need a volunteer who will one day go with me to show me how to pump gas at one of those stations. Here's the deal though, we have to pretend like you're doing me a favour because I'm driving so you're pumping gas and we'll casually talk at the pump while I observe. Don't worry, I'm a woman with an A-type personality - I can multitask and pull it off.
But no, I can't pump gas at an "old school" gas station.
p.s. when we're done there, think you could show me how to change a tire? I think I've got the whole windshield washer fluid thing figured out (although I've never done it, the guy at the dealership showed me that there's a label).
I went to get gas today at the cheap place near JJ and J's house (I had to go feed the cats before I could put my poor sick butt to bed) and I noticed last time I was out there that the gas was cheaper than it is near my place - by almost 5 cents!
So I pulled into the gas station and thought, "hmmm, something doesn't look right here. Maybe because it's an Ultramar station and I normally go to Esso?" (Just wait, C, you haven't converted me to being an Ultramar fan yet.) I get out of the car with my bank card, and go to put it into the pump (I'm a pay at the pump kinda gal. The longer I can hide the fact that I'm just pretending to know what I'm doing when I pump gas from the rest of the world, the better. After all, I'm maybe up to 15 times that I've pumped - IN MY LIFE!)
But wait, there's no paying at this pump. Shit. This is an "old school" gas station. There's like levers to flip, etc. Being the
Okay, now either stop with the eye rolling or stop laughing and pick yourself up off the floor because I need a volunteer who will one day go with me to show me how to pump gas at one of those stations. Here's the deal though, we have to pretend like you're doing me a favour because I'm driving so you're pumping gas and we'll casually talk at the pump while I observe. Don't worry, I'm a woman with an A-type personality - I can multitask and pull it off.
But no, I can't pump gas at an "old school" gas station.
p.s. when we're done there, think you could show me how to change a tire? I think I've got the whole windshield washer fluid thing figured out (although I've never done it, the guy at the dealership showed me that there's a label).
I'm a sucky, cry-y, needy wimp
It's really the only time you can bet your bottom dollar (where the hell DOES that expression come from) that I will cry at the drop of a hat.
I'm sick. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I'm sick. Since Monday, I've been nauseous and not able to sleep and chalking it up to nerves because works starting to make me feel anxious for the upcoming year (yeah, I really do now think about my years as starting in September).
Then this am, all I wanted to do was put my head on my desk and die. Hot flashes, nausea, the works. So I left work early and went home to take care of myself (read: go to bed for a few hours).
I'm still not feeling much better and in keeping with my woe is me mood when I'm sick, I'm upset that I missed my first and conveniently my LAST ball game of the summer. I feel robbed. Forget the fact that we have a tourney this weekend with 6 games. I wanted tonight. I wanted one more chance to go out with a bang.
Ah well, it doesn't really matter. What matters is getting better, right? Whatever.
Hey, it's MY woe is me moment so you just have to put up with my pathetic pleas for pity (whoa, alliteration roll today!).
I'm sick. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but I'm sick. Since Monday, I've been nauseous and not able to sleep and chalking it up to nerves because works starting to make me feel anxious for the upcoming year (yeah, I really do now think about my years as starting in September).
Then this am, all I wanted to do was put my head on my desk and die. Hot flashes, nausea, the works. So I left work early and went home to take care of myself (read: go to bed for a few hours).
I'm still not feeling much better and in keeping with my woe is me mood when I'm sick, I'm upset that I missed my first and conveniently my LAST ball game of the summer. I feel robbed. Forget the fact that we have a tourney this weekend with 6 games. I wanted tonight. I wanted one more chance to go out with a bang.
Ah well, it doesn't really matter. What matters is getting better, right? Whatever.
Hey, it's MY woe is me moment so you just have to put up with my pathetic pleas for pity (whoa, alliteration roll today!).
Take off that shirt that shows your manboobs and let's go for icecream
In true FBs style, we all gathered today for a fond going away lunch for our dear friend N. Given the table was made up of 8 women and poor KFo-tron, the conversation inevitably turned to rather random ramblings (how's that for alliteration?) . Here's a snipit of what was said. (Careful, some of it should be censored and you have been warned!)
-For some reason whenever I wear my Crocs, my feet seem to get dirty with those little circles that are on the Crocs.
-So you get Croc circles?
-So what do you wear when grocery shopping?
-Jeans.
-Jeans are for painting your friends' houses. Lululemon is for grocery shopping.
-But I don't have any shirts that go down to my bellybutton. I gave all those to JLo.
-If it has a gusset, it should not be worn out in public.
-Well what would you prefer? A gusset or camel toe?
-How are you supposed to dip the beef dip if you can't fit the beef in the dipping cup?
-Yeah, they're called Uggs because they're Ugggg-ly.
-And so I yelled down the ailse at the grocery store "oh my God, K, the BJs are on sale"
-After a year I still can't remember my phone number.
-Are you shacked up?
-Yeah, what's that got to do with it?
-Well, you aren't giving it out then so why would you need to learn it?
-At the end of the date I think I'm going to say "look, I'm just not that into you but I think you should date my friend L"
*to the sound of heels*
-Oh, that sounds like N coming.
-No, that's M. N was wearing flats today.
A-I want a better name than A on your blog.
Kfo-tron-Yeah, I wanna be Kfo-tron.
L-Kfo-tron? Not just Kfo?
Kfo-tron-Yeah, because that's what my name would be if I was a Transfomer.
A-Yeah, but he'd be an Autobot, not a Decepticon.
N-Yeah, my Macbook has a camera built in.
A-But how will you see us?
Kfo-tron-Mathbook? Did I just hear that N's going to be in a mathbook?
-So what do you call a hummer?
-A straight up BJ.
(forgot this classic little ditty)
-Pop a cap in your ass. (accompanied by faux shooting gesture)
-What does that mean?
-Shoot a gun. (again, accompanied by faux shooting gesture)
-Why?
L-Well, because when you shoot a gun and it recoils, the bullet casing gets popped off and falls to the ground and that's like the "cap" around the bullet.
-Yeah, but it's bust a cap in your ass.
L-Same thing
-What other gansta do you speak, L?
L-*exasperated tone* It's not my fault, I read a lot!!!
The collective sigh of relief by the wait staff upon us leaving was audible.
(If I've missed anything, my dear FBs and Kfo-Tron, please feel free to add it to the comments)
-For some reason whenever I wear my Crocs, my feet seem to get dirty with those little circles that are on the Crocs.
-So you get Croc circles?
-So what do you wear when grocery shopping?
-Jeans.
-Jeans are for painting your friends' houses. Lululemon is for grocery shopping.
-But I don't have any shirts that go down to my bellybutton. I gave all those to JLo.
-If it has a gusset, it should not be worn out in public.
-Well what would you prefer? A gusset or camel toe?
-How are you supposed to dip the beef dip if you can't fit the beef in the dipping cup?
-Yeah, they're called Uggs because they're Ugggg-ly.
-And so I yelled down the ailse at the grocery store "oh my God, K, the BJs are on sale"
-After a year I still can't remember my phone number.
-Are you shacked up?
-Yeah, what's that got to do with it?
-Well, you aren't giving it out then so why would you need to learn it?
-At the end of the date I think I'm going to say "look, I'm just not that into you but I think you should date my friend L"
*to the sound of heels*
-Oh, that sounds like N coming.
-No, that's M. N was wearing flats today.
A-I want a better name than A on your blog.
Kfo-tron-Yeah, I wanna be Kfo-tron.
L-Kfo-tron? Not just Kfo?
Kfo-tron-Yeah, because that's what my name would be if I was a Transfomer.
A-Yeah, but he'd be an Autobot, not a Decepticon.
N-Yeah, my Macbook has a camera built in.
A-But how will you see us?
Kfo-tron-Mathbook? Did I just hear that N's going to be in a mathbook?
-So what do you call a hummer?
-A straight up BJ.
(forgot this classic little ditty)
-Pop a cap in your ass. (accompanied by faux shooting gesture)
-What does that mean?
-Shoot a gun. (again, accompanied by faux shooting gesture)
-Why?
L-Well, because when you shoot a gun and it recoils, the bullet casing gets popped off and falls to the ground and that's like the "cap" around the bullet.
-Yeah, but it's bust a cap in your ass.
L-Same thing
-What other gansta do you speak, L?
L-*exasperated tone* It's not my fault, I read a lot!!!
The collective sigh of relief by the wait staff upon us leaving was audible.
(If I've missed anything, my dear FBs and Kfo-Tron, please feel free to add it to the comments)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Life is a detour, not a highway
As I drove into work today, I prepared myself for the inevitable detour through campus to get to the entrance to the lot I park in. They started construction on Monday and have been rerouting traffic all through campus so on Monday, it took me 15 minutes to drive just shy of 1.5 km to get back to 100 m from where I started the detour and the entrance to the lot. Seems a bit silly (I'm being generous here in my insults because I'm in a reflective mood), especially since they hadn't even started construction yet on that section of the road. But what do I know? I'm only in communications.
So waiting at the light to turn into campus, I was thinking about my scenic routes last night (read: getting lost/not paying attention to where I was going) and thinking that I seem to be taking a lot of detours lately. And that that's kind of an interesting metaphor for my life - I have a destination in mind but that the most logical route from here to there may not always happen the way you like it because you sometimes aren't paying attention and take a wrong turn, or there's things like traffic or construction you can't control and have to take a detour. Hmmm.
And then, to my pleasant surprise, the construction crews got smart (read: someone got a lot of nasty phone calls from angry Lot 5 users) and they had opened up just a section of the road long enough to get into my lot. I didn't have to take the detour today - which is too bad because I had saved a really good 5-minute long song for that drive specifically.
Is this a sign from the universe telling me that I may just be blessed with a shortcut one of these days? Hmmm.
So waiting at the light to turn into campus, I was thinking about my scenic routes last night (read: getting lost/not paying attention to where I was going) and thinking that I seem to be taking a lot of detours lately. And that that's kind of an interesting metaphor for my life - I have a destination in mind but that the most logical route from here to there may not always happen the way you like it because you sometimes aren't paying attention and take a wrong turn, or there's things like traffic or construction you can't control and have to take a detour. Hmmm.
And then, to my pleasant surprise, the construction crews got smart (read: someone got a lot of nasty phone calls from angry Lot 5 users) and they had opened up just a section of the road long enough to get into my lot. I didn't have to take the detour today - which is too bad because I had saved a really good 5-minute long song for that drive specifically.
Is this a sign from the universe telling me that I may just be blessed with a shortcut one of these days? Hmmm.
Monday, August 11, 2008
I think I've met my match
I went to JJ and J's house to hang out with their cats Nappy and Stella while they're on holidays. When I accepted to be at the felines' beck and call to get them food, water and some lovin', I said that it came with the caveat that I get instructions on how to use the tv. After all, JJ's got 7 seasons of Sex and the City - I could sit for hours petting the cats if that's on.
So, I go into the kitchen to feed the cats and I see that all of the instructions on how to care for them take up two lines: "Give each cat two cans of catfood per day and then split one can of Fancy Feast between the two of them. " That's it. Nothing else. Last time I had premeasured containers with labels to say which days there were to be dispensed on so maybe J did take it to heart that I could measure out food on my own. Alrighty, I can do that...or maybe not. I can't for the life of me find the Fancy Feast. And for how cute he is, all Nappy was only good for wrapping himself around my ankles and almost killing me. He gave me no indications as to where the Fancy Feast might be. Meh...whatever...they'll survive.
The rest of the TWO PAGES of instructions was how to use pretty much every electronic gadget in the house. I think J may be just slightly more neurotic than I am and that's a pretty big deal because you all know how neurotic I am. I mean, not only did I get instructions on how to watch a DVD, I got stereo and blue ray instructions AND I'm gonna throw a Wii party because I got instructions on how to use that as well. "Nappy, just don't tell mom and dad I threw a party while they were outta town"
I also wasn't prepared for what I saw when I got to the living room but I'll take a pic of that on Wednesday when I go back and post it. JJ and J, you're gonna have something to say about this when you get back...oh...can you feel the anticipation?
But here's the best part about it all. A classic B&G moment. Granted, I didn't get more than about 3 hours of sleep last night because something kept going bump in the middle of the night but I was too scared to get outta bed - and no, my neighbours weren't getting lucky. So, on the way there and home, I kinda got lost...3 TIMES! I can normally find JJ&J's house in my sleep but I somehow took a nice detour through Blackburn Hamlet(I prefer to call it the "scenic route"), I turned down a street too early to get to their house and when I was leaving, I somehow ended up on a dead end street (I again turned too early and needed to go one street over). I'm gonna chalk it up to the fact that I left work at almost 7 so I was outta my routine...yeah...that's it...
Brilliance and glory, I tell ya, brilliance and glory.
So, I go into the kitchen to feed the cats and I see that all of the instructions on how to care for them take up two lines: "Give each cat two cans of catfood per day and then split one can of Fancy Feast between the two of them. " That's it. Nothing else. Last time I had premeasured containers with labels to say which days there were to be dispensed on so maybe J did take it to heart that I could measure out food on my own. Alrighty, I can do that...or maybe not. I can't for the life of me find the Fancy Feast. And for how cute he is, all Nappy was only good for wrapping himself around my ankles and almost killing me. He gave me no indications as to where the Fancy Feast might be. Meh...whatever...they'll survive.
The rest of the TWO PAGES of instructions was how to use pretty much every electronic gadget in the house. I think J may be just slightly more neurotic than I am and that's a pretty big deal because you all know how neurotic I am. I mean, not only did I get instructions on how to watch a DVD, I got stereo and blue ray instructions AND I'm gonna throw a Wii party because I got instructions on how to use that as well. "Nappy, just don't tell mom and dad I threw a party while they were outta town"
I also wasn't prepared for what I saw when I got to the living room but I'll take a pic of that on Wednesday when I go back and post it. JJ and J, you're gonna have something to say about this when you get back...oh...can you feel the anticipation?
But here's the best part about it all. A classic B&G moment. Granted, I didn't get more than about 3 hours of sleep last night because something kept going bump in the middle of the night but I was too scared to get outta bed - and no, my neighbours weren't getting lucky. So, on the way there and home, I kinda got lost...3 TIMES! I can normally find JJ&J's house in my sleep but I somehow took a nice detour through Blackburn Hamlet(I prefer to call it the "scenic route"), I turned down a street too early to get to their house and when I was leaving, I somehow ended up on a dead end street (I again turned too early and needed to go one street over). I'm gonna chalk it up to the fact that I left work at almost 7 so I was outta my routine...yeah...that's it...
Brilliance and glory, I tell ya, brilliance and glory.
On the bandwagon
Okay, so I did it. After being terrified into it by all of you who were amazed that I hadn't done it already, I did it. It's been months of my couple friends saying "but how will you meet someone?!?!" that I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that, well, I ain't gonna be gettin' any phone numbers for devilishly handsome, good single guys outta you lot am I? ;o) But the tipping point came at dinner last week when for the first time I think in well, ever, I was at a table with more singles than couples and even then the singles seemed to be tossing around the idea. So I did it.
*blush*
I created an online dating profile.
*blush*
I know, I know. Everyone seems to have mixed reactions about online dating and I have friends (some of YOU I might add!) who have met their respective spouses or current LOVAHs (you know I've been dying to use that word in a blog post ;o) ) through some form of online communication. And that's fine...for now it's really just entertainment for me.
But I ESPECIALLY don't have high hopes for it after seeing some of the nutbars that have already contacted me. Guess there's something to be said for being the fresh meat on the scene. It's a little overwhelming and I'm quickly seeing why my seasoned online dating friends are a little harsher than I would like to be when dealing with the whack jobs.
Really, right now, it's about expanding the dating social network. So Billy Bob's not right for me...maybe he's right for my cute red-headed friend M who's convinced I should be the one dating the physicist. Could you imagine those conversations over dinner?
L: "But seriously, how do you think the bible believers can explain the physics of the immaculate conception? Like was it somekinda messed up energy transfer channeled from God through Gabriel? 'Cause you know, there's that whole energy can't be created nor destroyed concept. Hey, wait, where are you going? I thought we were having a nice time?"
Yes, and I know, dear Sister-in-Law, I just secured for the umpteenth time since I met you, my first-class, one way ticket to hell.
All this to say, I'm quite amused by the online dating experience I've had thus far. I'll be sure to share my horror stories along the way - come on, you know you all want to live vicariously through my dating ;o)
*blush*
I created an online dating profile.
*blush*
I know, I know. Everyone seems to have mixed reactions about online dating and I have friends (some of YOU I might add!) who have met their respective spouses or current LOVAHs (you know I've been dying to use that word in a blog post ;o) ) through some form of online communication. And that's fine...for now it's really just entertainment for me.
But I ESPECIALLY don't have high hopes for it after seeing some of the nutbars that have already contacted me. Guess there's something to be said for being the fresh meat on the scene. It's a little overwhelming and I'm quickly seeing why my seasoned online dating friends are a little harsher than I would like to be when dealing with the whack jobs.
Really, right now, it's about expanding the dating social network. So Billy Bob's not right for me...maybe he's right for my cute red-headed friend M who's convinced I should be the one dating the physicist. Could you imagine those conversations over dinner?
L: "But seriously, how do you think the bible believers can explain the physics of the immaculate conception? Like was it somekinda messed up energy transfer channeled from God through Gabriel? 'Cause you know, there's that whole energy can't be created nor destroyed concept. Hey, wait, where are you going? I thought we were having a nice time?"
Yes, and I know, dear Sister-in-Law, I just secured for the umpteenth time since I met you, my first-class, one way ticket to hell.
All this to say, I'm quite amused by the online dating experience I've had thus far. I'll be sure to share my horror stories along the way - come on, you know you all want to live vicariously through my dating ;o)
Sunday, August 10, 2008
I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself
Okay, so I've been spying on one of my neighbours for a few months. Now, I have not put one of my two pairs of binoculars to use, it's just whenever I walk past the window and he's out there I stand and watch him for a while.
Given that he's on the other side of the path from me, I can't see what he looks like. I stare because he's a GIANT. Seriously. He has to duck to get into his house through his back patio doors.
Now, let's assume that the average patio door is 6'4" high. Okay, let's assume that the average height of MY patio doors is 6'4" (and yes, I did measure both of them - would you expect any less from my neurotic personality?!?). He has to duck down enough that if he stood up straight, he'd easily lop off from the nostrils up. That's another good 6 inches. That makes him like 6'10". Okay, now that I read that that seems ridiculously tall and I'm sure my engineering buddies will tell me that my math and logic are off slightly.
But still - he IS ridiculously tall. After all, have you ever seen someone have to BEND OVER to BBQ? His GF/wife looks like a midget in comparison.
Anyways, whenever he's out in his back yard and I happen to be passing by a window, I just stop and watch him because I'm amazed at how tall he is. It's like my personal freak show right in my back yard...and all for the price of a mortgage payment a month. What a steal!
Given that he's on the other side of the path from me, I can't see what he looks like. I stare because he's a GIANT. Seriously. He has to duck to get into his house through his back patio doors.
Now, let's assume that the average patio door is 6'4" high. Okay, let's assume that the average height of MY patio doors is 6'4" (and yes, I did measure both of them - would you expect any less from my neurotic personality?!?). He has to duck down enough that if he stood up straight, he'd easily lop off from the nostrils up. That's another good 6 inches. That makes him like 6'10". Okay, now that I read that that seems ridiculously tall and I'm sure my engineering buddies will tell me that my math and logic are off slightly.
But still - he IS ridiculously tall. After all, have you ever seen someone have to BEND OVER to BBQ? His GF/wife looks like a midget in comparison.
Anyways, whenever he's out in his back yard and I happen to be passing by a window, I just stop and watch him because I'm amazed at how tall he is. It's like my personal freak show right in my back yard...and all for the price of a mortgage payment a month. What a steal!
Is 2008 jinxed?
I just came home from spending the day with friends. Couple friends in the morning and single friends in the afternoon.
The only down side is that this afternoon, it was the single girls rallying as a fellow romantic joined the ranks of singledom.
This seems to be the growing trend for 2008. This year alone, I know of 8 relationships ending (including my own) and we've still got 4 months left in the year.
I have to wonder, is there something in the air or water? Is 2008 a pivotal moment in time for some reason like I worry it is for the earth and global warming as we see too much snow and too much rain?
I don't know what it is and I know that none of you that read this have an answer. It just makes me sad to think of all the people who are going through this heartache and while in a sick sadistic way I'm glad I'm not going through this alone, my heart still goes out to all those that find themselves single again.
The only down side is that this afternoon, it was the single girls rallying as a fellow romantic joined the ranks of singledom.
This seems to be the growing trend for 2008. This year alone, I know of 8 relationships ending (including my own) and we've still got 4 months left in the year.
I have to wonder, is there something in the air or water? Is 2008 a pivotal moment in time for some reason like I worry it is for the earth and global warming as we see too much snow and too much rain?
I don't know what it is and I know that none of you that read this have an answer. It just makes me sad to think of all the people who are going through this heartache and while in a sick sadistic way I'm glad I'm not going through this alone, my heart still goes out to all those that find themselves single again.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
What was I thinking?
Yet another story for the B&G category.
Okay, this is really going to show that I've got no taste. While I will poke fun at those with those stupid magnetic ribbons on their cars, you can all roll your eyes at me when I confess that I like that new Pussycat Dolls song "When I grow up". And even worse, I sing and dance to it when it comes on the radio.
So picture it. I'm at home (soberly) doing doing dishes on a Friday night, shakin' my booty and singing (to I'm sure the neighbours' amusement if they looked in my dining room window):
When I grow up
I wanna be a star
I wanna be famous
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
I wanna drive nice cars
I wanna have boobies
I've been singing these lyrics for a few months. It's this last line that especially tickles my fancy about this song because I can't believe the PCD's poor taste in trying to shape the minds of little girls to want to have boobies.
So, the song ends and the DJ comes on and is singing this last verse but saying "I wanna have groupies" It's then that I realize my blunder - but come on, can you blame me? It's the PCDs - "I wanna have boobies" sounds like something they might say, non?
Yeah, I'm thinking it too: it's amazing I get paid to use my brain at work.
Okay, this is really going to show that I've got no taste. While I will poke fun at those with those stupid magnetic ribbons on their cars, you can all roll your eyes at me when I confess that I like that new Pussycat Dolls song "When I grow up". And even worse, I sing and dance to it when it comes on the radio.
So picture it. I'm at home (soberly) doing doing dishes on a Friday night, shakin' my booty and singing (to I'm sure the neighbours' amusement if they looked in my dining room window):
When I grow up
I wanna be a star
I wanna be famous
I wanna be in movies
When I grow up
I wanna see the world
I wanna drive nice cars
I wanna have boobies
I've been singing these lyrics for a few months. It's this last line that especially tickles my fancy about this song because I can't believe the PCD's poor taste in trying to shape the minds of little girls to want to have boobies.
So, the song ends and the DJ comes on and is singing this last verse but saying "I wanna have groupies" It's then that I realize my blunder - but come on, can you blame me? It's the PCDs - "I wanna have boobies" sounds like something they might say, non?
Yeah, I'm thinking it too: it's amazing I get paid to use my brain at work.
Friday, August 8, 2008
BCWH 895
Should you see this plate on a Mercedes ML350 driven by a young guy, please feel free to flip him off or at the very least, not let him merge into your lane.
I had the displeasure of letting him into my lane (thanks for that wave of appreciation fucker), following him through the Wendy's drive through (where he promptly stopped to throw his half finished Tim Horton's coffee on the driveway just feet from the garbage can) and finally had to honk at him to put his car in drive and pull out of the drive through so I could get out because he was on his cell phone making a call.
I figure, I could have flipped him off but the arrogant prick would probably not think twice of a slightly-less-beautiful-than-a-model woman who's older than him who drives a *gasp* Honda flipping him off (and apparently road rage leads to wrinkles) so instead, I blog in revenge.
This did prompt me to wonder if I had pissed off anyone to receive my own such rave reviews in a blog. Google has put my mind at ease.
I had the displeasure of letting him into my lane (thanks for that wave of appreciation fucker), following him through the Wendy's drive through (where he promptly stopped to throw his half finished Tim Horton's coffee on the driveway just feet from the garbage can) and finally had to honk at him to put his car in drive and pull out of the drive through so I could get out because he was on his cell phone making a call.
I figure, I could have flipped him off but the arrogant prick would probably not think twice of a slightly-less-beautiful-than-a-model woman who's older than him who drives a *gasp* Honda flipping him off (and apparently road rage leads to wrinkles) so instead, I blog in revenge.
This did prompt me to wonder if I had pissed off anyone to receive my own such rave reviews in a blog. Google has put my mind at ease.
And I only JUST got a permanent job?
Okay, so this happened to me last Friday but I thought I'd share my horrific (okay, I found it horrific) story of the gross inadequacies of some of my colleagues. On the bright side - it's none of you so you can all go on thinking you're rock stars.... ;o) And it's long - make some popcorn.
I decided when I bought my car that I wanted to drive to work. It's a short commute and with the insanely late hours I work at certain times of the year, I wasn't comfortable doing the commute on public transit with some poorly lit areas along my route home. Plus, for some reason, it's cheaper for me to drive to work even with the cost of gas being what it is than to have an ECO-pass (eco - as in ecologically friendly or how about ECONOMICAL?!?!?).
So I called the parking office in May to find out how I get a spot in a particularly cheap lot that I like. I was told that I just needed to come in and get the pass set up, there were tons of spots in the lot I wanted and I didn't need to worry about reserving a spot. I then checked with payroll that I had to keep my Ecopass for a year and just had to turn it back in and they would stop it coming off my paycheque. Sounds simple enough. But for safety sake, as I anxiously got that much closer to August 1 and my blessed no-more-public-transit mornings, I thought I'd call again in July and ask one last time. To both offices I called and got the EXACT same reply as in May.
August 1 was a Friday - so I was off. I made a special trip to come into work to get this taken care of. Silly me, I had grandiose plans to go see a double feature at the Imax an hour and 15 minutes after I arrived on campus thinking that that should be enough lead time. I had to park half way across campus from the building I needed (only pay spots available apparently) and pay $3 for an hour (yeah, cheap, I know).
First stop - HR reception.
L: Here's my Ecopass, I'd like to stop it for August 1
HR Receptionist: *obviously confused* ugh..okay, just a sec
She goes to an office where I can see and recognize two people talking. Knowing her place on the proverbial totem pole, she patiently waits to jump in the conversation. But wait! It's an interesting conversation about where they should all order from for lunch. Egads, poor HR R can't not participate in that conversation - she has a right to decide where she eats too! Finally, she gets down to business only to have one of the two tell her that I need to put it in writing. Holy Bure-fucking-aucracy. You have the pass, you don't think that's indication ENOUGH that I need it to stop?!? So, on a post it note I have to scrawl that I want them to cancel it as of August 1 with my name and employee number.
Stop 2-Parking reception (now moved to the same building as HR)
L: Hi, I need to get a parking pass for August 1 for Lot 5
WoP* Parking Receptionist: Oh, did you book your space online
L: No, I didn't know I had to.
WoP: Yup, because I can't see into the system to see if a spot is available.
L: Okay, and you have a computer in front of you so can we do it right now.
WoP: Oh, well you can use a computer in Athletics (back PAST my car in the paid spot)
L: *huge sigh* Okay, if that's the ONLY way....
WoP: Yup
L: And is there any reason why the two times I've called here in the last 3 months that NO ONE has told me that I had to RESERVE my spot before I could get it?
WoP: *silence and dumbfounded look* Well you can book it and pay for it online
L: Oh, I can put it on my payroll deduction online?
WoP: Well no, you can pay by credit card
So I left the Parking Office and stood in the lobby of the building wondering what to do. If I stayed to get this sorted out, which I should do because I needed a pass for Monday and didn't want to have to deal with this on Monday am, I would miss the Imax shows. If I left, I'd make the Imax but didn't want it on my credit card and would still need to come back on Monday to get my physical pass before I could park and get this taken care of.
I actually left the building and came back in determined to use A or K's computer on the 6th floor to reserve my pass. On my way up, I realized there was a computer for students on the 3rd floor - not that the WoP could tell me that a terminal was available WITHIN SIGHT OF THE PARKING OFFICE FRONT DOOR!!! I log in and can't, for the life of me, get into the parking secure area of the website. All common passwords I use won't work. So, JJ comes by because she's been at a meeting and I rage on (poor) her about my morning. I plead with her to let me use her cell (I left mine in the car because I foolishly thought I wouldn't need it) to call down to the Parking Office to get my password because all attempts to have it sent to me at my email address doesn't seem to actually be generating a password - nor an email. (Now I know all you smarties would say "Why didn't you just get a new login?". I tried. Apparently it's attached to my Employee ID number so no matter what user name etc. I tried for a new account, it wouldn't let me get a new account.) The same WoP answers the phone and gives me my password. I type it into the screen and *ahhhhhh - the angels are singing* I get in. I promptly hang up and as I scroll over the icon to click on the big P to reserve my spot, the computer kicks me out - I've exceeded my 20 minute time limit on the computer apparently.
Now I'm raging.
I go back down to the parking office and lay into the WoP. Conveniently, when someone looks like they're about to go postal, she can get in and check for a spot.
WoP: Oh, there's none available for Lot 5
L: I called 2 weeks ago and was told that there were plenty of spots and I didn't need to reserve one. Now you're telling me there are none? I'm a staff member! (sadly, I know I get preferential treatment on parking space todem pole as a staff member)
WoP: Oh, you're a staff member, let me check.
And off she goes to the back room. And back she comes after some muffled conversation.
WoP: Yup, I can give you a spot in Lot 5.
So now she's going through the system looking for the code for that payment schedule.
WoP: Okay, so all I can find is this student code for September-April for $X.
L: Is there any difference between the student and staff price?
WoP: Nope.
L: Okay, and that can start today?
WoP: *in a hushed "I shouldn't be telling you this because it's breaking the rules" tone* Well, you can come in and get the pass and start using it the last week of August
L: BUT I NEED IT FOR TODAY! LIKE I SAID, I NEED IT FOR AUGUST 1! I've already turned in my Eco-pass so I have no way of getting to work now.
WoP: Okay, just a sec.
Into the back room she goes and there's more muffled conversation.
Back out she comes with one of the parking staff I've normally dealt with for parking related issues. New staff member sits down for about oh, 30 seconds and gets it all sorted out with the right price, the lot I want and starting August 1. She says to WoP, "okay, now you can just print out the pass and give it to her"
I finally leave with the pass and get to my car 3 minutes before my meter expires.
So, upshot? I tried not to rage, I tried to keep my cool. But with idocracy like that staring me so blatantly in the face, can you blame for for finally losing it?!? And worst of all, all I could think was, "I JUST got a permanent job on campus and I can't even hire any temporary help when I'm swamped and all because we have WoP's like you on campus. Great. Just fucking great."
*WoP=Waste of Payroll
I decided when I bought my car that I wanted to drive to work. It's a short commute and with the insanely late hours I work at certain times of the year, I wasn't comfortable doing the commute on public transit with some poorly lit areas along my route home. Plus, for some reason, it's cheaper for me to drive to work even with the cost of gas being what it is than to have an ECO-pass (eco - as in ecologically friendly or how about ECONOMICAL?!?!?).
So I called the parking office in May to find out how I get a spot in a particularly cheap lot that I like. I was told that I just needed to come in and get the pass set up, there were tons of spots in the lot I wanted and I didn't need to worry about reserving a spot. I then checked with payroll that I had to keep my Ecopass for a year and just had to turn it back in and they would stop it coming off my paycheque. Sounds simple enough. But for safety sake, as I anxiously got that much closer to August 1 and my blessed no-more-public-transit mornings, I thought I'd call again in July and ask one last time. To both offices I called and got the EXACT same reply as in May.
August 1 was a Friday - so I was off. I made a special trip to come into work to get this taken care of. Silly me, I had grandiose plans to go see a double feature at the Imax an hour and 15 minutes after I arrived on campus thinking that that should be enough lead time. I had to park half way across campus from the building I needed (only pay spots available apparently) and pay $3 for an hour (yeah, cheap, I know).
First stop - HR reception.
L: Here's my Ecopass, I'd like to stop it for August 1
HR Receptionist: *obviously confused* ugh..okay, just a sec
She goes to an office where I can see and recognize two people talking. Knowing her place on the proverbial totem pole, she patiently waits to jump in the conversation. But wait! It's an interesting conversation about where they should all order from for lunch. Egads, poor HR R can't not participate in that conversation - she has a right to decide where she eats too! Finally, she gets down to business only to have one of the two tell her that I need to put it in writing. Holy Bure-fucking-aucracy. You have the pass, you don't think that's indication ENOUGH that I need it to stop?!? So, on a post it note I have to scrawl that I want them to cancel it as of August 1 with my name and employee number.
Stop 2-Parking reception (now moved to the same building as HR)
L: Hi, I need to get a parking pass for August 1 for Lot 5
WoP* Parking Receptionist: Oh, did you book your space online
L: No, I didn't know I had to.
WoP: Yup, because I can't see into the system to see if a spot is available.
L: Okay, and you have a computer in front of you so can we do it right now.
WoP: Oh, well you can use a computer in Athletics (back PAST my car in the paid spot)
L: *huge sigh* Okay, if that's the ONLY way....
WoP: Yup
L: And is there any reason why the two times I've called here in the last 3 months that NO ONE has told me that I had to RESERVE my spot before I could get it?
WoP: *silence and dumbfounded look* Well you can book it and pay for it online
L: Oh, I can put it on my payroll deduction online?
WoP: Well no, you can pay by credit card
So I left the Parking Office and stood in the lobby of the building wondering what to do. If I stayed to get this sorted out, which I should do because I needed a pass for Monday and didn't want to have to deal with this on Monday am, I would miss the Imax shows. If I left, I'd make the Imax but didn't want it on my credit card and would still need to come back on Monday to get my physical pass before I could park and get this taken care of.
I actually left the building and came back in determined to use A or K's computer on the 6th floor to reserve my pass. On my way up, I realized there was a computer for students on the 3rd floor - not that the WoP could tell me that a terminal was available WITHIN SIGHT OF THE PARKING OFFICE FRONT DOOR!!! I log in and can't, for the life of me, get into the parking secure area of the website. All common passwords I use won't work. So, JJ comes by because she's been at a meeting and I rage on (poor) her about my morning. I plead with her to let me use her cell (I left mine in the car because I foolishly thought I wouldn't need it) to call down to the Parking Office to get my password because all attempts to have it sent to me at my email address doesn't seem to actually be generating a password - nor an email. (Now I know all you smarties would say "Why didn't you just get a new login?". I tried. Apparently it's attached to my Employee ID number so no matter what user name etc. I tried for a new account, it wouldn't let me get a new account.) The same WoP answers the phone and gives me my password. I type it into the screen and *ahhhhhh - the angels are singing* I get in. I promptly hang up and as I scroll over the icon to click on the big P to reserve my spot, the computer kicks me out - I've exceeded my 20 minute time limit on the computer apparently.
Now I'm raging.
I go back down to the parking office and lay into the WoP. Conveniently, when someone looks like they're about to go postal, she can get in and check for a spot.
WoP: Oh, there's none available for Lot 5
L: I called 2 weeks ago and was told that there were plenty of spots and I didn't need to reserve one. Now you're telling me there are none? I'm a staff member! (sadly, I know I get preferential treatment on parking space todem pole as a staff member)
WoP: Oh, you're a staff member, let me check.
And off she goes to the back room. And back she comes after some muffled conversation.
WoP: Yup, I can give you a spot in Lot 5.
So now she's going through the system looking for the code for that payment schedule.
WoP: Okay, so all I can find is this student code for September-April for $X.
L: Is there any difference between the student and staff price?
WoP: Nope.
L: Okay, and that can start today?
WoP: *in a hushed "I shouldn't be telling you this because it's breaking the rules" tone* Well, you can come in and get the pass and start using it the last week of August
L: BUT I NEED IT FOR TODAY! LIKE I SAID, I NEED IT FOR AUGUST 1! I've already turned in my Eco-pass so I have no way of getting to work now.
WoP: Okay, just a sec.
Into the back room she goes and there's more muffled conversation.
Back out she comes with one of the parking staff I've normally dealt with for parking related issues. New staff member sits down for about oh, 30 seconds and gets it all sorted out with the right price, the lot I want and starting August 1. She says to WoP, "okay, now you can just print out the pass and give it to her"
I finally leave with the pass and get to my car 3 minutes before my meter expires.
So, upshot? I tried not to rage, I tried to keep my cool. But with idocracy like that staring me so blatantly in the face, can you blame for for finally losing it?!? And worst of all, all I could think was, "I JUST got a permanent job on campus and I can't even hire any temporary help when I'm swamped and all because we have WoP's like you on campus. Great. Just fucking great."
*WoP=Waste of Payroll
Thursday, August 7, 2008
The fine print
What you should know about this blog before you read much more...
It's going to be full of my rantings and inner thoughts. I will sometimes use profanities (look, the trucker voice in my head says it's fucking okay) and will on occasion poke fun at or mock something that you or a loved one may like/think/do. It's not personal as I'm sure there are things that I do that you all roll your eyes at too (including owning and wearing crocs!) and that's okay because we're all different and that's what makes life so charming.
So you've been warned. Read at your own risk...
It's going to be full of my rantings and inner thoughts. I will sometimes use profanities (look, the trucker voice in my head says it's fucking okay) and will on occasion poke fun at or mock something that you or a loved one may like/think/do. It's not personal as I'm sure there are things that I do that you all roll your eyes at too (including owning and wearing crocs!) and that's okay because we're all different and that's what makes life so charming.
So you've been warned. Read at your own risk...
Ah cripes....dating...
Yeah, yeah, it's not as exciting as it sounds...
So, lovely E over at (slightly) less cynical decides to post this today:
9 Reasons Not to Date a Tyrannosaurus Rex
Thanks, E. Thanks alot. If this is what T-Rex had in store and the Albertasauras was just a mini T-Rex, what's that say about my dating future?!?
Way to depress a gal beforeanother a (dateless) weekend.
So, lovely E over at (slightly) less cynical decides to post this today:
9 Reasons Not to Date a Tyrannosaurus Rex
Thanks, E. Thanks alot. If this is what T-Rex had in store and the Albertasauras was just a mini T-Rex, what's that say about my dating future?!?
Way to depress a gal before
We all have our moments...
of brilliance and glory...and this is mine for this week.
I'm trying to get better at doing things around the house. I've had my blunders and my frantic/irritated/embarrassed/whiney phone calls to my brother/N when I couldn't figure something out over the last few months. But it's slowly getting better. I even ownpower tools a cordless drill power tools (I have a drill AND a sander).
I figured I'd pretty much had the whole drill thing figured out by now. I'd hung an accordian mirror in my bathroom, I'd drilled holes and taken out screws the previous owners had left in places (WTF?) and I'd even assembled a piece of Ikea furniture or two WITHOUT those hand-mutilating Allen keys they give you.
So, Saturday night I'm at home doing some drilling with my drill (yeah, I know...I'm at home on a Saturday night of a long weekend drilling and I wasn't even D&D - drinking and drilling). I get the pot lid rack taken down and hung up in the same cupboard as the pots (that's what happens when someone else drills before you unpack your kitchen on moving day) and was preparing to install a wire basket on rails into my lower cupboard to make my lazy life easier when reaching for the Saran Wrap or baggies or whatnot.
I start off figuring, "it's just pressboard, I can screw these screws in no problem" But I can't seem to get them very far in. At first I'm impressed at the durability of the pressboard, and then I figure "I'll show you pressboard, I'll drill holes and THEN screw in the screws". Can you hear the smug I'm-a-DIY-Goddess in my inside voice? So I get the right bit or whatever it's called into the drill and I'm drilling and drilling and drilling and I'm only getting in like a half centimeter. And then I kill my battery. So I figure, "well, it must have been the battery and that's why it wouldn't go in" so bring on a new battery! I put the other on the charger and get drilling. But still nothing.
Fuck this. I'm going to bed. I'm not even D&D on a Saturday night at home and I can't even get the second D right.
Sunday morning. I meet MH and R at Denny's for breakfast. R's going to fix my vents for me after we're done. On the car ride to my house, I'm telling MH about what happened. She chalks it up to a crappy drill and I'm thinking "yeah, that's right. It's a bad drill my brother picked out. Because I'm a DIY Goddess". When we get back to my house, R gets into my cupboard and takes a good look at my drill. He then says (through muffled chuckling)...
"Um, L, you had the drill in reverse"
I think these moments of brilliance and glory in my life will become a regular feature - of my life and my blog.
I'm trying to get better at doing things around the house. I've had my blunders and my frantic/irritated/embarrassed/whiney phone calls to my brother/N when I couldn't figure something out over the last few months. But it's slowly getting better. I even own
I figured I'd pretty much had the whole drill thing figured out by now. I'd hung an accordian mirror in my bathroom, I'd drilled holes and taken out screws the previous owners had left in places (WTF?) and I'd even assembled a piece of Ikea furniture or two WITHOUT those hand-mutilating Allen keys they give you.
So, Saturday night I'm at home doing some drilling with my drill (yeah, I know...I'm at home on a Saturday night of a long weekend drilling and I wasn't even D&D - drinking and drilling). I get the pot lid rack taken down and hung up in the same cupboard as the pots (that's what happens when someone else drills before you unpack your kitchen on moving day) and was preparing to install a wire basket on rails into my lower cupboard to make my lazy life easier when reaching for the Saran Wrap or baggies or whatnot.
I start off figuring, "it's just pressboard, I can screw these screws in no problem" But I can't seem to get them very far in. At first I'm impressed at the durability of the pressboard, and then I figure "I'll show you pressboard, I'll drill holes and THEN screw in the screws". Can you hear the smug I'm-a-DIY-Goddess in my inside voice? So I get the right bit or whatever it's called into the drill and I'm drilling and drilling and drilling and I'm only getting in like a half centimeter. And then I kill my battery. So I figure, "well, it must have been the battery and that's why it wouldn't go in" so bring on a new battery! I put the other on the charger and get drilling. But still nothing.
Fuck this. I'm going to bed. I'm not even D&D on a Saturday night at home and I can't even get the second D right.
Sunday morning. I meet MH and R at Denny's for breakfast. R's going to fix my vents for me after we're done. On the car ride to my house, I'm telling MH about what happened. She chalks it up to a crappy drill and I'm thinking "yeah, that's right. It's a bad drill my brother picked out. Because I'm a DIY Goddess". When we get back to my house, R gets into my cupboard and takes a good look at my drill. He then says (through muffled chuckling)...
"Um, L, you had the drill in reverse"
I think these moments of brilliance and glory in my life will become a regular feature - of my life and my blog.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Chomp chomp
I just need to mention that I love that graphic that shows up in the right hand nav thingy (like the technical terms?). That's the size of an albertasauras in relation to an average man. I have days where I feel like I'm the dinosaur about to chomp off some dumas' head. Chomp chomp. Also an appropriate mascot for my rantings and ragings, non?
Shoe Porn
First and foremost, I can't take credit for the lovely PG title of my first post. It's a N-coined term that I stole from her this morning after she sent me a link to yet another shoe site that she's in love with.
I have to say, I never thought I would be a shoe person. I mean, there were always the fundamentals there to make a shoe-a-holic, I had just never tapped into them before. I have historically started every day with thinking about what I have to do and subsequently what shoes I will wear to maximize comfort and appropriate style for the activities. For example, if it's a day of errands, it's flip flops all the way (don't tell my chiropodist). If it's a day of few meetings and mostly at my desk, heels work. If it's a day of running around on campus, flats are the way to go. Then I get dressed from the feet up. So really, N & JJ's attempts to convert me these last few months weren't necessarily all that difficult.
Now, realistically, I don't think I'll ever get to the point of JJ's obsession - who might I add has a whole closet in her...wait for it....KITCHEN (!) dedicated to her shoes. However, I may just make a special place for my growing collection when redesigning my closet.
I have to say, I never thought I would be a shoe person. I mean, there were always the fundamentals there to make a shoe-a-holic, I had just never tapped into them before. I have historically started every day with thinking about what I have to do and subsequently what shoes I will wear to maximize comfort and appropriate style for the activities. For example, if it's a day of errands, it's flip flops all the way (don't tell my chiropodist). If it's a day of few meetings and mostly at my desk, heels work. If it's a day of running around on campus, flats are the way to go. Then I get dressed from the feet up. So really, N & JJ's attempts to convert me these last few months weren't necessarily all that difficult.
Now, realistically, I don't think I'll ever get to the point of JJ's obsession - who might I add has a whole closet in her...wait for it....KITCHEN (!) dedicated to her shoes. However, I may just make a special place for my growing collection when redesigning my closet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)