Lovelies...it's been a while. I know...you've anxiously been awaiting my latest dating infraction...so let's skip over the several-month, mid-life crisis whirlwind that was the Sugar Daddy and head straight on to....
The Chicken Guy
Back a few months ago I swore off of online dating. I removed my profile from good old Plenty of Fish and decided I was done. Time to focus the summer on me, rowing and trying to take better care of my lawn. That was an epic failure - but not as bad as the last few summers, I'll admit. But I left my profile on the barely trafficked website okcupid.com. Lo and behold, someone messages me. A few messages back and forth and he seems normal enough so we decided to meet.
Now, a few years back (yes, I've been single for THAT long now), a more mature singleton gave me an EBS that I wasn't ready for. She told me that, as someone who did not wish to breed my own spawns, I would probably have a hard time finding men who were in my situation because of my age and because most of them probably had been through their starter marriages too and already had one or two chicklets on the loose with their last names attached. The thing that stuck with me was that she told me that I may not want to date them because they had children but worse, I wouldn't want to date someone who didn't want to be with their children because that would be saying something about his character. Fair enough.
Chicken Guy has two kids. Young kids. And he was separated from his ex for only a mere 8 months after a 13 year divorce. One of the reasons he picked up on my profile is that I had indicated in a 'personality question' on the site that I didn't want to have kids with my next partner. (BTW, part of the reason I stayed on that site is it's basically like a trashy magazine with quizzes and stuff PLUS a dating area - totally entertains me.)
Okay, fair enough. So we went to a movie on our first date. Right away he was into being very...touchy. Arm around me, rubbing the back of my neck, blah blah blah - don't worry, it was PG, Big Brother. Honestly it didn't feel totally creeperish and he smelt not bad so meh, whatever.
Date #2 he met me at the rowing club and we went for a drive - again with the rubbing of the back of my neck which I finally asked him to stop because I just needed my driving space. One of the things I'd noted by that time in our interactions was that he conspicuously never mentioned his kids. Like ever. And he sees them regularly. While my other dating experiences with F&$%@#*% fathers hasn't been great nor have they gone on and on and on about their kids, they're at least part of a conversation SOMEWHERE. Like if I mention that I like broccoli, I may get a 'my kids love it too' kinda comment. So, I took this opportunity, while trapped in my car, to grill him. His rationale was that he wasn't looking for a mother for them (holy cliché line used by EVERY papa on a dating website) and that he was really looking for a partner to have a relationship with.
I figured date #3 couldn't hurt. We watched a movie at his house and again, some more details came out about his past - including that his children weren't planned. Dude, tell me how in your 30's you're still having 'accidents'. Sorry, in this day and age, anyone over the age of 20 should be educated enough to know to use contraceptives. And I could see ONE being an accident...but TWO? Now, that's just irresponsibility.
By date #4, I'd clearly figured out what the deal was with this guy. He had been happily married, made two poor judgment calls and became a father and then things changed with his wife. While he loved his kids, it was pretty evident that he didn't really want to have a large parenting role with them and he was looking for a replacement spouse that he could live his DINK (+child support) lifestyle with. While y'all know I ain't no breeder, this still didn't sit right with me. I didn't want to be the 'enabler' who stood by and let him be less engaged than I would think a good parent would want to be.
So I stopped calling him. I know...so mature...but we just let things die quietly in the night.
Oh, and his name? His work involves the poultry industry - hence, the Chicken Guy.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Oh Facebook humour, you crack me up
I know, I know - another 'see what I saw and thought I'd share with you' posts. But this is funny, swear! Especially when 'The Church' gets involved.
If Historical Events had Facebook Statuses...
If Historical Events had Facebook Statuses...
Thursday, September 2, 2010
*old man wheezing*
Either I'm classless, it's late and I'm beyond tired making this űber funny OR it really *is* comical...
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
E.E. Cummings may have just been a little perverted
I routinely read a blog called 'Living Flirtatiously'. It provides my sentimental heart with the right doses of butterfly commentary mixed with cynical dating realities to make me feel like I'm not alone in blundering my way through the dating world. Today's post by Maura was on poems for any stage of a romantic relationship. Of course I read them but one of the last ones that I read was the one by E.E. Cummings called I like my body when it is with your.
i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh… And eyes big love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill
of under me you so quite new
Um, it's kinda randy, non? I have to admit that just over 12 years ago I sat in a crowded auditorium writing my last English lit essay for a final exam in my mandatory-for-my-BA 1st year English lit class and I sat for a minute to gather my thoughts when I realized that this would be the last English exam I would ever have to right. I could have SUNG I felt so ELATED at the idea that I would never have to use the words protagonist, antagonist, foreshadowing, anticlimax or narrative again - note I didn't say 'climax' ;o) . Probably one of the reasons why I hate really stuffy book clubs. I like to enjoy the written word on a purely superficial level...is that so wrong of me?
Anyways, I decided to read these poems as I've recently found myself on 2 and soon to be 3 dates with a master's grad of English lit. I can't admit to never having read E.E. Cummings, can I? Well now I can...if only that it's something rather randy that I've read...I wonder if that would scandalize the English lit major....
i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh… And eyes big love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill
of under me you so quite new
Um, it's kinda randy, non? I have to admit that just over 12 years ago I sat in a crowded auditorium writing my last English lit essay for a final exam in my mandatory-for-my-BA 1st year English lit class and I sat for a minute to gather my thoughts when I realized that this would be the last English exam I would ever have to right. I could have SUNG I felt so ELATED at the idea that I would never have to use the words protagonist, antagonist, foreshadowing, anticlimax or narrative again - note I didn't say 'climax' ;o) . Probably one of the reasons why I hate really stuffy book clubs. I like to enjoy the written word on a purely superficial level...is that so wrong of me?
Anyways, I decided to read these poems as I've recently found myself on 2 and soon to be 3 dates with a master's grad of English lit. I can't admit to never having read E.E. Cummings, can I? Well now I can...if only that it's something rather randy that I've read...I wonder if that would scandalize the English lit major....
Thursday, August 19, 2010
It's been too, too long
Mes amis...it's been too long. I've not written for weeks and I've finally realized that it has taken it's mental tole on me. Yes, that's right, I've realized that writing is an outlet I NEED to pursue to keep my sanity.
So where should I start with the updates? While I'm sure that some of you have been cyberstalking me through Facebook...or my feed just comes up in your home page feed, much has happened.
Let's start with the fun stuff - DATING!
*insert crickets*
Okay, it hasn't been that bad but I've been pretty unmotivated to date much this summer. Really, where did I have the time though. Rowing (which I'll come back to) has taken more and more time and so has patio season so it just hasn't fit in...but I will fill you in on the Chicken Guy in my next post - he deserves his OWN posting.
I'm going to be moving on to some house repairs in a few weeks that will surely entertain. In the mean time, I'm not looking forward to doing it alone and have to admit that house stuff is the one thing that keeps me up at night AND makes me wish I wasn't single. But as a wise person (read: one date wonder) once told me, 'if it's worth having, it's worth taking care of' and they're right. I'm trying to stay in more and do just that - even if that starts with the basic of cleaning more.
Besides that, I'm also taking care of me bod more these days. Rowing is still ongoing and I'm thinking of making the jump to the master's program. That's 6 mornings a week at 5 am on the water for April-November. Oye. I'm thinking that I'll test my resilience to such a schedule by doing winter training with the master's this winter. That's again, early mornings at the uni although not 5 days a week. It'll cost me like $30 for the season because my gym membership is included as an employee benefit. Can I get a woot woot?!? Besides that, my Dr. gave me a stern look and scolding last time I was in to lose the twins (aka my buttocks). She then sent me to The Crazy Lady (aka my dietican) who cut me off of, of all things, BANANAS.
I nearly lost my shit in her office.
And the rationale? She wanted me to 'discover other fruit'. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? I seriously had withdrawl every time I went into Farm Boy. But here's the kicker...I'm now eating cherries, plums, mangoes, oranges, grapes, and grapefruit regularly. *insert grumbling re. maybe she's right*
Anyhoot, there's been a slow weight loss but it's not really something I care all that much about, to be honest. I'm a healthy shape by not storing all my 'could stand to be lost' poundage near my organs and I'm active. The good thing about this is I'm eating even better which in turn will mean weight loss. Really though, it's making me appreciate home cooking and nutritious cooking. And eating out is taking on less of an appeal which means...you got it...more money on the house.
*le sigh*
Work...well...that's another blog post for another day.
Commuting to work? That's another RANT for another day.
Other ramblings...they're sure to come now that I'm back from my summer hiatus.
So, did you miss me?
So where should I start with the updates? While I'm sure that some of you have been cyberstalking me through Facebook...or my feed just comes up in your home page feed, much has happened.
Let's start with the fun stuff - DATING!
*insert crickets*
Okay, it hasn't been that bad but I've been pretty unmotivated to date much this summer. Really, where did I have the time though. Rowing (which I'll come back to) has taken more and more time and so has patio season so it just hasn't fit in...but I will fill you in on the Chicken Guy in my next post - he deserves his OWN posting.
I'm going to be moving on to some house repairs in a few weeks that will surely entertain. In the mean time, I'm not looking forward to doing it alone and have to admit that house stuff is the one thing that keeps me up at night AND makes me wish I wasn't single. But as a wise person (read: one date wonder) once told me, 'if it's worth having, it's worth taking care of' and they're right. I'm trying to stay in more and do just that - even if that starts with the basic of cleaning more.
Besides that, I'm also taking care of me bod more these days. Rowing is still ongoing and I'm thinking of making the jump to the master's program. That's 6 mornings a week at 5 am on the water for April-November. Oye. I'm thinking that I'll test my resilience to such a schedule by doing winter training with the master's this winter. That's again, early mornings at the uni although not 5 days a week. It'll cost me like $30 for the season because my gym membership is included as an employee benefit. Can I get a woot woot?!? Besides that, my Dr. gave me a stern look and scolding last time I was in to lose the twins (aka my buttocks). She then sent me to The Crazy Lady (aka my dietican) who cut me off of, of all things, BANANAS.
I nearly lost my shit in her office.
And the rationale? She wanted me to 'discover other fruit'. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? I seriously had withdrawl every time I went into Farm Boy. But here's the kicker...I'm now eating cherries, plums, mangoes, oranges, grapes, and grapefruit regularly. *insert grumbling re. maybe she's right*
Anyhoot, there's been a slow weight loss but it's not really something I care all that much about, to be honest. I'm a healthy shape by not storing all my 'could stand to be lost' poundage near my organs and I'm active. The good thing about this is I'm eating even better which in turn will mean weight loss. Really though, it's making me appreciate home cooking and nutritious cooking. And eating out is taking on less of an appeal which means...you got it...more money on the house.
*le sigh*
Work...well...that's another blog post for another day.
Commuting to work? That's another RANT for another day.
Other ramblings...they're sure to come now that I'm back from my summer hiatus.
So, did you miss me?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Thank you Lego, for making the World Cup bearable
Everywhere I go these days, it seems all people are talking about is the World Cup. Babes in orange dresses, status updates, uniforms that are dirty, Canadians breaking hearts, blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong, I find it kinda neat to drive around town and see flags hanging off of cars all over the place in our...well, conservative town...but frankly, I don't give a rat's ass about soccer.
However, if you get Lego involved then maybe, just maybe I'll wanna watch. J's to the E, this one's for you(s):
However, if you get Lego involved then maybe, just maybe I'll wanna watch. J's to the E, this one's for you(s):
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I try not to be judgemental
It seems that I took after my mother's physical genes of having what I like to refer to as 'I can spend the day working the land and then still kick your ass after' body shape so I tend not to judge people of...size. I myself struggle with my weight but am slowly accepting it for what it is...so long as I have a healthy lifestyle and don't turn slovenly, better to embrace it and work it, right.
So, when I came across this article, I was filled with...well rage:
Woman aims for 1000 pound weight goal
So, when I came across this article, I was filled with...well rage:
Woman aims for 1000 pound weight goal
A 42-year-old mother, who weighs 601 pounds, has her sights set on the scale hitting four digits.
There are so many appalling things in this article but more than anything, what grosses me out the most is that this woman is a mother. Who puts their kids through that kinda torment and not just that, but leaves them without a healthy parent to care for them. Right here, right now, in singledom state, I owe it to myself to care for my body. But should I be in a relationship or take on a parenting role, I all of a sudden take on the added commitment of making sure I'm around to be there for the people I've committed to. Is it just me or is this UBER sick and twisted?More cube farm head shaking
Two work thoughts: You know you're in an older work environment when you go to get paper towel from the kitchen and the magnet on the dispenser is for how to recognize the signs of a stroke. Also, it's quite entertaining when you write your own 'welcome to the team' message and then you don't get copied on it when it's sent out to your new colleagues only to discover this when they show up at your door to 'welcome' you....
Shoot. Me. Now.
Monday through Friday is starting to become a bit more routine. But, while things change daily as to the work load, etc. one thing I can bet on is the daily phone call of one of my cube farm mates that's made loudly enough to be heard, every work day she's there, between 3:55-4:15 pm. It goes something like this:
'Hi Honey, how are you? How was track and field today? Well you tried your best! How's Zachary? How are you feeling? How are your allergies? Okay, well daddy's gonna be picking you up around 6:30, okay? Okay, I love you. Bye bye'
EVERY DAY. I can barely keep my cool on the other side of the fabric wall.
'Hi Honey, how are you? How was track and field today? Well you tried your best! How's Zachary? How are you feeling? How are your allergies? Okay, well daddy's gonna be picking you up around 6:30, okay? Okay, I love you. Bye bye'
EVERY DAY. I can barely keep my cool on the other side of the fabric wall.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Something for the 'to see list'
My long ago colleague and favourite entrepreneur MChen has started a new project with her sister, Serena, to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society. They do this as their father, for whom I heard many, many, many beyond belief entertaining stories about while M and I worked together (plus, M's a great story teller which only enhances the Papa Chen stories) was diagnosed with cancer.
To support him and raise money, the lassies are doing what they do best...being creative. They've started the D.A.D project. I'll let you go to the site and read up on it. I've bought shirts of M's and drawings of Serena's because the ladies are wickedly talented. So they're working on very reasonably priced prints of their daily drawings for sale.
I quite liked the one from M today about sloths...I love sloths.
But better yet, there was this video:
LOVE IT. Especially the guy at 1:30. Reminds me of Zoot and Animal combined....you know, from the muppets. But really, have you ever seen a cuter animal scratching its ass?
To support him and raise money, the lassies are doing what they do best...being creative. They've started the D.A.D project. I'll let you go to the site and read up on it. I've bought shirts of M's and drawings of Serena's because the ladies are wickedly talented. So they're working on very reasonably priced prints of their daily drawings for sale.
I quite liked the one from M today about sloths...I love sloths.
But better yet, there was this video:
Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.
LOVE IT. Especially the guy at 1:30. Reminds me of Zoot and Animal combined....you know, from the muppets. But really, have you ever seen a cuter animal scratching its ass?
Confession
The guy in the cube beside me is a bit of a nincompoop. He's just, flaky. And chatty. He knocked on my doorway to my fabric box today and proceeded to tell me about his day and all the trials and tribulations of getting something approved blah blah blah blah blah. I've learned that the extent of my engaging only has to include me shaking my head and closing my eyes. Occasionally I mutter 'wow, another culture shock moment'. And I do this because...
I have no FUCKING clue what he's talking about.
I have no FUCKING clue what he's talking about.
I wasted my time in jeuvy
One of the other things that has been a bit of a culture shock since coming back to gov't is the 'lock down' mentality of this place. Sure, we have to herd through the gates where we swipe our passes to get in (kinda like cows on the way to the slaughter house, non?) but there's this new look to everything. Filing cabinets with bars across them and huge padlocks on them or, filing cabinets with dial locks on them - you know, like what a bank has.
But the challenge more than anything is opening the damn things. I had to wait for 3 weeks for someone to come and install a cabinet with a lock in it (the one I had didn't have a lock) and then another few days for someone to come set the combination (to my liking so that was helpful) but I then had to wait another 2 weeks for someone to come show me how to open it...again. But I really didn't feel bad...I had 3 other people try the lock to get it open before the locksmith came in and told me what the 'trick' was with my lock. Apparently, because I chose a second number very close to the number 0, I needed to pass it 3 times instead of 2 as per the instructions I was given on a piece of paper.
*insert sarcasm*
Hunh...well, who wudda thunk it.
Perhaps if I'd only used my time in jeuvy wisely and figured out how to crack vaults would this have been obvious to me.
*insert eye rolling*
But the challenge more than anything is opening the damn things. I had to wait for 3 weeks for someone to come and install a cabinet with a lock in it (the one I had didn't have a lock) and then another few days for someone to come set the combination (to my liking so that was helpful) but I then had to wait another 2 weeks for someone to come show me how to open it...again. But I really didn't feel bad...I had 3 other people try the lock to get it open before the locksmith came in and told me what the 'trick' was with my lock. Apparently, because I chose a second number very close to the number 0, I needed to pass it 3 times instead of 2 as per the instructions I was given on a piece of paper.
*insert sarcasm*
Hunh...well, who wudda thunk it.
Perhaps if I'd only used my time in jeuvy wisely and figured out how to crack vaults would this have been obvious to me.
*insert eye rolling*
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Pain in my ass
Rowing's been interesting the last few weeks. With my sore back, I was out for a few weeks and then, we got a new crop of graduates from the learn to row program. I give 'em credit for coming out but I don't know what baffoons teach them to row because they can't balance worth shit.
Why does this matter? Because if the boat isn't balanced, one side's ores drag in the water and they can't get them out and subsequently, they can catch a crab. Remember crabs from last year? Yeah, those mo fo's suck arse.
Anyhoot, the boat was way off balance. Given that we got out late on account of the sun showers, we did a shorter than normal run, which was a good thing because at one point I thought my ass was going to fall off. No, seriously, I did. Now I don't want to blame the newbies but I'll tell ya, someone referred to it as an octopus for a reason...we just couldn't get our shit together no matter how hard we tried.
So, just before our last 500 m into the boat house, our coxie gave us a break. I took the opportunity to ask a question as you know only I can...the convo went something like this:
Coxie: okay everyone, take a break for a second
Me: Umm, excuse me (from 6 people down in the boat), can I ask a question?
C: sure 3 seat, go ahead
M: Um, why is my right butt cheek hurting so much?
C: Because port side is keeling and you're trying to compensate for it with your body and throwing your body weight. If you do what you're supposed to do and everyone else does, you won't have to balance like that.
M: So it's the boat's fault (btw, this is how we refer to our team - 'the boat') that my ass hurts?
*insert chuckles from the rest of the crew*
C: Yes, your crew mates are the pain in your ass tonight
M: Okay, thanks
Yeah, you know they love me at the rowing club.
Why does this matter? Because if the boat isn't balanced, one side's ores drag in the water and they can't get them out and subsequently, they can catch a crab. Remember crabs from last year? Yeah, those mo fo's suck arse.
Anyhoot, the boat was way off balance. Given that we got out late on account of the sun showers, we did a shorter than normal run, which was a good thing because at one point I thought my ass was going to fall off. No, seriously, I did. Now I don't want to blame the newbies but I'll tell ya, someone referred to it as an octopus for a reason...we just couldn't get our shit together no matter how hard we tried.
So, just before our last 500 m into the boat house, our coxie gave us a break. I took the opportunity to ask a question as you know only I can...the convo went something like this:
Coxie: okay everyone, take a break for a second
Me: Umm, excuse me (from 6 people down in the boat), can I ask a question?
C: sure 3 seat, go ahead
M: Um, why is my right butt cheek hurting so much?
C: Because port side is keeling and you're trying to compensate for it with your body and throwing your body weight. If you do what you're supposed to do and everyone else does, you won't have to balance like that.
M: So it's the boat's fault (btw, this is how we refer to our team - 'the boat') that my ass hurts?
*insert chuckles from the rest of the crew*
C: Yes, your crew mates are the pain in your ass tonight
M: Okay, thanks
Yeah, you know they love me at the rowing club.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Going to the bathroom is an adventure
Yes, I know, a bit of a 'is this gonna be TMI of a blog post' title but meh, you'll get over it.
I've been daily amazed at the culture shock I'm experiencing as a public servant. One of the thing that surprisingly affects me daily are my trips to the washroom.
Like any public washroom, there's nothing special about these ones. Save for the handy hanging file holder where you can put your folders and notebooks if you're making a pit stop on the way to a meeting so they don't have to go on the wet counter.
What my trips leave me jarred with most days are actually the automatic flushing toilets. Yes, the toilets. I admit to being a hoverer. I don't sit on any toilet seats anywhere, save for my own and my brother's (yes, you do clean your toilet before I come for a reason SIL...and I thank you). Well, that's not to say that if I'm travelling in a hotel I don't but I won't if I visit your house, go to a public restroom, etc. It's not a germaphobe kinda thing, it's a 'hey, I can build leg muscles if I am forced to hold them in a semi-squat for a period of time'. Yes, I started doing it several years ago to build leg muscles. Hey, every bit counts! And my rowing is all the better for it.
But I digress. What this means though is that with these new automatic flushing toilets that I just finish going and within a few inches of starting to pull up my pants, the toilet is hyper-flushing. I say hyper-flushing because those puppies have a LOT of sucking...no need for 'courtesy flushing' here! Back to my earlier confession of suffering from ligyrophobia, needless to say, peeing at work is not a good experience for me. Which sucks, to put it simply, because I do some of my best thinking while taking a sanity break from work and end up back at my desk inspired and full of promise. It's that break my brain needs and now, it's getting the equivalent of a shock.
And do you know how I know it's affecting me that much?
I leave the bathroom with my fly down ALL. THE. TIME.
Yeah, that's right, it's like my brain freaks out and wants the hell out of that small space with that loud hyper-flushing toilet and I go so quickly I forget to do up the fly on my pants. I typically do this 1-2 times A WEEK! I don't remember the last time I forgot to zip up EVER, never mind doing it 1-2 times a WEEK!
Beyond that, wearing my geek pass on a clip on my pants has also lead to a bizarre event. While frantically pulling up my pants the other day, the clip came loose and it, pass attached bounced off the toilet seat (that I had just hovered over) and miraculously fell to the floor. I had a few deep breaths to regain my composure at 1) the loud noise and 2) the fact that I almost had to go fishing where I had just pissed. Pleasant thought, I know.
But to top all of this off, what I can't get over is the laziness/germaphobia of my colleagues. To enter the bathroom, we must go through two doors. These, like most public washrooms, have those physically impaired (see, I'm already PC-ified after being a public servant for 5 weeks) buttons so the doors open for you if you just patiently wait a second or two. I'll admit, I've used these before when both of my arms aren't free or I need someone to hold a door for me as I travel with a dolly. But I'll be DAMNED if a gov't slave has to open one of those doors for themselves and touch one of those icky door handles. Almost everyone uses these buttons which in effect slows down their walking speed so it takes them more time to go to the washroom with these delays (more of your tax payers' - and mine, might I add - dollars wasted) not to mention the additional electrical costs and maintenance costs to have these buttons working that are only expected to get a certain number of pushes before requiring maintenance which, with the frequency they are now being used, are not meant to handle that kind of use.
But wait, there's still the kicker.
If that's not bad enough, I have witnessed several people wash their hands and leave the taps RUNNING. No, they do NOT use a towel to turn off the taps - that would be too close to touching them with their freshly washed hands. So they leave it running and punch, hip check or elbow the handicap button to get out of the washroom. And one of the offenders sits on the other side of a fabric wall from me. It takes all my energy not to go over and lick her keyboard and her phone when I see her get up to go. What burns me most is that we work for an aid agency. AN AID FUCKING AGENCY. We dedicate Monday-Friday, 10-2 (what? we need coffee breaks and to leave early and come in late), to helping the poorest and most underdeveloped nations of the world bring themselves up to par with our fair nation. Yet our smug superiority stops at the desks we leave behind so we can waste electricity and water when the people we should be thanking our livelihoods on can't even have that. BLOWS MY MIND.
While I'm not the type to go postal and rage on someone, I have been tempted to post this to the inside of each bathroom stall door above the lock.
To all those who use the handicap button to exit and enter the washrooms and leave the taps running so as to avoid bacteria and germs.
I just soiled on my hands and touched this lock. I'm at your desk right now touching everything as you read this.
I've been daily amazed at the culture shock I'm experiencing as a public servant. One of the thing that surprisingly affects me daily are my trips to the washroom.
Like any public washroom, there's nothing special about these ones. Save for the handy hanging file holder where you can put your folders and notebooks if you're making a pit stop on the way to a meeting so they don't have to go on the wet counter.
What my trips leave me jarred with most days are actually the automatic flushing toilets. Yes, the toilets. I admit to being a hoverer. I don't sit on any toilet seats anywhere, save for my own and my brother's (yes, you do clean your toilet before I come for a reason SIL...and I thank you). Well, that's not to say that if I'm travelling in a hotel I don't but I won't if I visit your house, go to a public restroom, etc. It's not a germaphobe kinda thing, it's a 'hey, I can build leg muscles if I am forced to hold them in a semi-squat for a period of time'. Yes, I started doing it several years ago to build leg muscles. Hey, every bit counts! And my rowing is all the better for it.
But I digress. What this means though is that with these new automatic flushing toilets that I just finish going and within a few inches of starting to pull up my pants, the toilet is hyper-flushing. I say hyper-flushing because those puppies have a LOT of sucking...no need for 'courtesy flushing' here! Back to my earlier confession of suffering from ligyrophobia, needless to say, peeing at work is not a good experience for me. Which sucks, to put it simply, because I do some of my best thinking while taking a sanity break from work and end up back at my desk inspired and full of promise. It's that break my brain needs and now, it's getting the equivalent of a shock.
And do you know how I know it's affecting me that much?
I leave the bathroom with my fly down ALL. THE. TIME.
Yeah, that's right, it's like my brain freaks out and wants the hell out of that small space with that loud hyper-flushing toilet and I go so quickly I forget to do up the fly on my pants. I typically do this 1-2 times A WEEK! I don't remember the last time I forgot to zip up EVER, never mind doing it 1-2 times a WEEK!
Beyond that, wearing my geek pass on a clip on my pants has also lead to a bizarre event. While frantically pulling up my pants the other day, the clip came loose and it, pass attached bounced off the toilet seat (that I had just hovered over) and miraculously fell to the floor. I had a few deep breaths to regain my composure at 1) the loud noise and 2) the fact that I almost had to go fishing where I had just pissed. Pleasant thought, I know.
But to top all of this off, what I can't get over is the laziness/germaphobia of my colleagues. To enter the bathroom, we must go through two doors. These, like most public washrooms, have those physically impaired (see, I'm already PC-ified after being a public servant for 5 weeks) buttons so the doors open for you if you just patiently wait a second or two. I'll admit, I've used these before when both of my arms aren't free or I need someone to hold a door for me as I travel with a dolly. But I'll be DAMNED if a gov't slave has to open one of those doors for themselves and touch one of those icky door handles. Almost everyone uses these buttons which in effect slows down their walking speed so it takes them more time to go to the washroom with these delays (more of your tax payers' - and mine, might I add - dollars wasted) not to mention the additional electrical costs and maintenance costs to have these buttons working that are only expected to get a certain number of pushes before requiring maintenance which, with the frequency they are now being used, are not meant to handle that kind of use.
But wait, there's still the kicker.
If that's not bad enough, I have witnessed several people wash their hands and leave the taps RUNNING. No, they do NOT use a towel to turn off the taps - that would be too close to touching them with their freshly washed hands. So they leave it running and punch, hip check or elbow the handicap button to get out of the washroom. And one of the offenders sits on the other side of a fabric wall from me. It takes all my energy not to go over and lick her keyboard and her phone when I see her get up to go. What burns me most is that we work for an aid agency. AN AID FUCKING AGENCY. We dedicate Monday-Friday, 10-2 (what? we need coffee breaks and to leave early and come in late), to helping the poorest and most underdeveloped nations of the world bring themselves up to par with our fair nation. Yet our smug superiority stops at the desks we leave behind so we can waste electricity and water when the people we should be thanking our livelihoods on can't even have that. BLOWS MY MIND.
While I'm not the type to go postal and rage on someone, I have been tempted to post this to the inside of each bathroom stall door above the lock.
To all those who use the handicap button to exit and enter the washrooms and leave the taps running so as to avoid bacteria and germs.
I just soiled on my hands and touched this lock. I'm at your desk right now touching everything as you read this.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Shock breeds fear
One of the things I'm noticing more and more in my new gov't 9-5er, besides the fact that I sleep much better (and no, not at my desk) and haven't taken anything to or from work other than a lunch bag and a purse for...well, since I started, is that gov't is behind the times when it comes to embracing technology and communications. For some reason, more and more, I'm being asked by my manager and starting to be seen by the limited number of people who will talk to me...le outsider...as something of a social media guru.
*insert record scratch*
Ha WAH?
I'll admit. I know some stuff. I have a good network of solid comms folks that we feed off each other and regularly throw (mostly online) learning resources each other's way. And I can see the linkages for opportunities between traditional and social media and how we need to stand up and pay attention because it ain't goin' away.
Today, in my (used to be and should return to) weekly visit to Casa de Elliott, we got into a discussion of brand loyalty, social media and the changing way in which our comms jobs are headed...or not, as the case may be.
J then pulled up this video for me. Watch it. It's worth the time. Then watch the one after it and I'll continue ranting after that ;o)
And interestingly, when I took the How Millenial Are You? test and scored highest amongst my former work place colleagues at a whopping 91% (BTW, I took the test twice, over two months apart each time and scored the same score each time if you're looking for quality control). It's an interesting test to take. What it means though, in terms that some of you may find shocking can be reflected in the way I absorb technology/use. Here's an Albertasauras did you know list:
-I haven't watched a television show at the time it aired in longer than I can remember. All 3 shows that I watch I watch online within a week of them airing because I can't be bothered to have to be home for a prescribed time nor sit through commercials. If my tenant ever moves out, I will cancel cable and go solely to online viewing.
-I haven't watched a news program on TV since I lived in my apartment...almost 3 years ago.
-I read 6+ media monitoring reports daily for work...and I what I do has nothing directly related to what's in those reports.
-I visit more than 3 news organizations websites daily for specific news. It's never consistent which sites I visit (CNN, CBC, Globe and Mail, NY Times, BBC, etc.) because I search for my news by what I want to learn about that day based on trends on Twitter, Facebook, National Geographic, and conversations at work/with my peers.
-From March 17-April 16, I sent 777 text messages and received 914. I received 17 pictures and browsed the web 28 times. It was an average month.
-My phone is never off, is never without charge and is rarely more than 5 feet from me for longer than 30 minutes at a time. I sleep with it and more easily wake up to it's vibrating than to my alarm clock - regardless of if it's on radio or annoying beep.
-I used to listen to the radio (bubble gum pop station that shall remain nameless) on my drive to and from work. I can't even get 2 km from my house before I'm annoyed by commercials and switch to my iPod. Forget listening to any kind of news talk radio where again, the agenda is prescribed as to what I will listen to. CBC is programmed into my car preset stations simply to be able to say it is. I couldn't tell you what the frequency actually is because I've never listened to it. (Yes, I open myself up to ridicule by all you comms peeps.)
-My required equipment to leave the house used to be 'wallet, phone, keys'. It's now 'wallet, phone, keys, ipod, headset to be able to talk and drive'.
-I don't remember the last time I read a newspaper on purpose, much less bought one. Newspapers have a finite amount of information. The Internet does not. I want to be able to read something online and do more research instantly using my trusty Google search bar. And I do...all....the...time.
-I have 7 email accounts: 4 Gmail, 1 Hotmail, 1 Rogers, and 1 work account. I have an outdated MySpace account, Facebook account, Twitter account (that I use more to follow than to tweet) and a blog.
-I am on my laptop every night in bed before I go to sleep.I close the lid, put it on the floor beside my bed and turn off my light. The first thing I do each morning is open it up and log in.
-I am seriously considering selling my soul for an iPhone or an android phone. My current phone, just over a year old, isn't smart enough to surf the web as websites become more and more sophisticated to be browsed on hand held devices. Telus doesn't even sell my phone anymore.
-I read 30+ blogs weekly and 4 daily.
What does this all mean? Not much. But here's the thing. I'm not on top of all the new media and technology out there. I've got a good handle on things, but I'm not by any means savvy enough,
IMHO, for my job. But more than anything, the shock of seeing all those stats above in those videos and seeing how it relates to my life has turned into something else for me this evening. Fear. Fear of not becoming outdated.
And with that, I close the lid, put my laptop on the floor, turn off the lite and make sure my phone's on vibrate.
*insert record scratch*
Ha WAH?
I'll admit. I know some stuff. I have a good network of solid comms folks that we feed off each other and regularly throw (mostly online) learning resources each other's way. And I can see the linkages for opportunities between traditional and social media and how we need to stand up and pay attention because it ain't goin' away.
Today, in my (used to be and should return to) weekly visit to Casa de Elliott, we got into a discussion of brand loyalty, social media and the changing way in which our comms jobs are headed...or not, as the case may be.
J then pulled up this video for me. Watch it. It's worth the time. Then watch the one after it and I'll continue ranting after that ;o)
And interestingly, when I took the How Millenial Are You? test and scored highest amongst my former work place colleagues at a whopping 91% (BTW, I took the test twice, over two months apart each time and scored the same score each time if you're looking for quality control). It's an interesting test to take. What it means though, in terms that some of you may find shocking can be reflected in the way I absorb technology/use. Here's an Albertasauras did you know list:
-I haven't watched a television show at the time it aired in longer than I can remember. All 3 shows that I watch I watch online within a week of them airing because I can't be bothered to have to be home for a prescribed time nor sit through commercials. If my tenant ever moves out, I will cancel cable and go solely to online viewing.
-I haven't watched a news program on TV since I lived in my apartment...almost 3 years ago.
-I read 6+ media monitoring reports daily for work...and I what I do has nothing directly related to what's in those reports.
-I visit more than 3 news organizations websites daily for specific news. It's never consistent which sites I visit (CNN, CBC, Globe and Mail, NY Times, BBC, etc.) because I search for my news by what I want to learn about that day based on trends on Twitter, Facebook, National Geographic, and conversations at work/with my peers.
-From March 17-April 16, I sent 777 text messages and received 914. I received 17 pictures and browsed the web 28 times. It was an average month.
-My phone is never off, is never without charge and is rarely more than 5 feet from me for longer than 30 minutes at a time. I sleep with it and more easily wake up to it's vibrating than to my alarm clock - regardless of if it's on radio or annoying beep.
-I used to listen to the radio (bubble gum pop station that shall remain nameless) on my drive to and from work. I can't even get 2 km from my house before I'm annoyed by commercials and switch to my iPod. Forget listening to any kind of news talk radio where again, the agenda is prescribed as to what I will listen to. CBC is programmed into my car preset stations simply to be able to say it is. I couldn't tell you what the frequency actually is because I've never listened to it. (Yes, I open myself up to ridicule by all you comms peeps.)
-My required equipment to leave the house used to be 'wallet, phone, keys'. It's now 'wallet, phone, keys, ipod, headset to be able to talk and drive'.
-I don't remember the last time I read a newspaper on purpose, much less bought one. Newspapers have a finite amount of information. The Internet does not. I want to be able to read something online and do more research instantly using my trusty Google search bar. And I do...all....the...time.
-I have 7 email accounts: 4 Gmail, 1 Hotmail, 1 Rogers, and 1 work account. I have an outdated MySpace account, Facebook account, Twitter account (that I use more to follow than to tweet) and a blog.
-I am on my laptop every night in bed before I go to sleep.I close the lid, put it on the floor beside my bed and turn off my light. The first thing I do each morning is open it up and log in.
-I am seriously considering selling my soul for an iPhone or an android phone. My current phone, just over a year old, isn't smart enough to surf the web as websites become more and more sophisticated to be browsed on hand held devices. Telus doesn't even sell my phone anymore.
-I read 30+ blogs weekly and 4 daily.
What does this all mean? Not much. But here's the thing. I'm not on top of all the new media and technology out there. I've got a good handle on things, but I'm not by any means savvy enough,
IMHO, for my job. But more than anything, the shock of seeing all those stats above in those videos and seeing how it relates to my life has turned into something else for me this evening. Fear. Fear of not becoming outdated.
And with that, I close the lid, put my laptop on the floor, turn off the lite and make sure my phone's on vibrate.
Damn you, Hollywood
I went and saw a chick flick yesterday, on Holiday Monday, at the theatre with ShellBell, Baby Yu and Gback. Okay, Gback's not a chick but he's a sucker for anything outta Hollywood it would seem so I can see why he was there.
Anyways, as I did my best to patiently watch...
Wait. First let me publicly go on the record for apologizing to le Ex. I know, you're probably wondering what the hell an apology is stuck here for but I have to apologize. He always bitched and moaned about the fact that I talk too much in a movie. And I probably do. I make maybe 2 comments during a movie. But it is NO WHERE NEAR the ongoing play-by-play I was getting at the theatre yesterday from the row above, behind or even to the side of me not to mention the squeals and ohs and ahs when Taylor Lautner came on the screen (gag). It's like women NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP. No wonder men don't say much. THEY DON'T NEED TO. So, for the simple fact that I know I'm no where even close to as chatty in a theatre (let's be realistic, people, I said theatre for a reason) as the gaggle of women who were there yesterday, I now know how fucking annoying that is. So, le Ex, whatever special place in purgatory you're at, I apologize. ;o)
But I digress...
Anyhoot, I'm sitting there listening to awwwwws and sniffles as women tear up at the sad bits and literally cheers and claps when the boy kisses the girl (Wtf? As if we didn't see THAT coming a mile away so you feel the need to get all worked up about it?) and it got me thinking. Hollywood is screwing us over. Men and women alike. They build up these fantasies of how love should be and how men should act and how women should look and then we're all inevitably disappointed in each other when it doesn't work out that way. And then we just become bitter and jaded and turn on each other. For once, just once, can the guy NOT get the girl? Like in 500 Days of Summer, which, by the way, I just ruined the ending for you if you've not seen it. And for once, just once, can the girl look normal? Like she had the fries instead of the salad at one point. And that perhaps not all of the best qualities of her parents genetic makeup were passed on but that's okay because she fell in love too cause women like that fall in love too? You know, a la My Big Fat Greek Wedding?
Damn you, Hollywood. Damn you.
Anyways, as I did my best to patiently watch...
Wait. First let me publicly go on the record for apologizing to le Ex. I know, you're probably wondering what the hell an apology is stuck here for but I have to apologize. He always bitched and moaned about the fact that I talk too much in a movie. And I probably do. I make maybe 2 comments during a movie. But it is NO WHERE NEAR the ongoing play-by-play I was getting at the theatre yesterday from the row above, behind or even to the side of me not to mention the squeals and ohs and ahs when Taylor Lautner came on the screen (gag). It's like women NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP. No wonder men don't say much. THEY DON'T NEED TO. So, for the simple fact that I know I'm no where even close to as chatty in a theatre (let's be realistic, people, I said theatre for a reason) as the gaggle of women who were there yesterday, I now know how fucking annoying that is. So, le Ex, whatever special place in purgatory you're at, I apologize. ;o)
But I digress...
Anyhoot, I'm sitting there listening to awwwwws and sniffles as women tear up at the sad bits and literally cheers and claps when the boy kisses the girl (Wtf? As if we didn't see THAT coming a mile away so you feel the need to get all worked up about it?) and it got me thinking. Hollywood is screwing us over. Men and women alike. They build up these fantasies of how love should be and how men should act and how women should look and then we're all inevitably disappointed in each other when it doesn't work out that way. And then we just become bitter and jaded and turn on each other. For once, just once, can the guy NOT get the girl? Like in 500 Days of Summer, which, by the way, I just ruined the ending for you if you've not seen it. And for once, just once, can the girl look normal? Like she had the fries instead of the salad at one point. And that perhaps not all of the best qualities of her parents genetic makeup were passed on but that's okay because she fell in love too cause women like that fall in love too? You know, a la My Big Fat Greek Wedding?
Damn you, Hollywood. Damn you.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Long overdue
Lovelies, it's been some time since I regaled you with all the minutae that is my life. For that, I apologize. I'm going to try and summarize all that I've done in the last few weeks while you've been waiting patiently and promise, yet again to blog more often.
Let's start with work. I had a golden opportunity land in my lap mid-March with a position in the gov't. I've been here going on my 3rd week now but after almost 4 years at my previous job, and being horribly bad at record keeping I've discovered, it was a long and painful transition trying to get it all out of my head. I left work exhausted and burnt out and getting started with the new job has been equally taxing. I'll tell you more about my life lessons from working as a public servant shortly.
Personally, it's been a busy time as well. Not so much socializing with friends as I've had a new beau enter my little bubble. I know, I know, I'm just as surprised as you are, believe me. And I will tell you more, in due time. For now, let's leave it at things are good and he continually surprises me - in good ways. He's quite the Charming Good Guy (CGG).
And wait...that's it. Yup, my life in a nutshell. CGG and work. And sleep. And procrastination. I haven't kept up in my reading of my blogs. I'm off the online dating world. I haven't done my taxes. I seem to always have more loads of laundry than time. And I don't know where my time goes. But more to come...I promise.
So again, thanks for your patience. It will have been worth it. I promise.
Let's start with work. I had a golden opportunity land in my lap mid-March with a position in the gov't. I've been here going on my 3rd week now but after almost 4 years at my previous job, and being horribly bad at record keeping I've discovered, it was a long and painful transition trying to get it all out of my head. I left work exhausted and burnt out and getting started with the new job has been equally taxing. I'll tell you more about my life lessons from working as a public servant shortly.
Personally, it's been a busy time as well. Not so much socializing with friends as I've had a new beau enter my little bubble. I know, I know, I'm just as surprised as you are, believe me. And I will tell you more, in due time. For now, let's leave it at things are good and he continually surprises me - in good ways. He's quite the Charming Good Guy (CGG).
And wait...that's it. Yup, my life in a nutshell. CGG and work. And sleep. And procrastination. I haven't kept up in my reading of my blogs. I'm off the online dating world. I haven't done my taxes. I seem to always have more loads of laundry than time. And I don't know where my time goes. But more to come...I promise.
So again, thanks for your patience. It will have been worth it. I promise.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
OC Transpo's cryptic
So OC Transpo replied this am. I'm sure that my email request was widely circulated around their offices today under a 'wtf?' headline. Here's what they sent back:
Thank you L for your e-mail.
We do have equipment and staff on-hand that complete the required tasks. Regrettably, due to restrictions and confidentiality issues, we are unable to provide further details.
Once again, we appreciate your interest and trust you understand our position.
Sincerely,
Linda
Customer Relations Officer
Transit Services, City of Ottawa
Oh, you know they think I'm crazy.
Thank you L for your e-mail.
We do have equipment and staff on-hand that complete the required tasks. Regrettably, due to restrictions and confidentiality issues, we are unable to provide further details.
Once again, we appreciate your interest and trust you understand our position.
Sincerely,
Linda
Customer Relations Officer
Transit Services, City of Ottawa
Oh, you know they think I'm crazy.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Oc Transpo Debate
So Gback and I are working late tonight and out of nowhere, he throws out this random question:
'I wonder how OC Transpo sorts the change and bills it collects.'
Being the geek I am, I hypothesized as to how it is done. His response was along the lines of the fact that it was a rhetorical question and that if I didn't actually know, I shouldn't answer. So, being the stubbornbitch know-it-all bitch that I am, I thought I'd solve the mystery once and for all.
A few minutes later I read the following to him:
Dear OC Transpo,
My colleague and I were wondering something and hoped you could put an argument to rest. We'd like to know how OC Transpo sorts the change and the tickets/bills when it's all removed from the bus. Is there a machine that lets the coins fall through leaving the bills on top? If so, then who sorts the bills from the tickets or other paper? Or do you employ someone who just dumps it all out on a conference room table and sorts it all into piles - hopefully wearing gloves. Or perhaps the sorting occurs right on the bus?
Any assistance you could provide in resolving this debate would be appreciated.
Thank you.
I'll let you know if they respond...
'I wonder how OC Transpo sorts the change and bills it collects.'
Being the geek I am, I hypothesized as to how it is done. His response was along the lines of the fact that it was a rhetorical question and that if I didn't actually know, I shouldn't answer. So, being the stubborn
A few minutes later I read the following to him:
Dear OC Transpo,
My colleague and I were wondering something and hoped you could put an argument to rest. We'd like to know how OC Transpo sorts the change and the tickets/bills when it's all removed from the bus. Is there a machine that lets the coins fall through leaving the bills on top? If so, then who sorts the bills from the tickets or other paper? Or do you employ someone who just dumps it all out on a conference room table and sorts it all into piles - hopefully wearing gloves. Or perhaps the sorting occurs right on the bus?
Any assistance you could provide in resolving this debate would be appreciated.
Thank you.
I'll let you know if they respond...
Thursday, March 25, 2010
I was drunk
I once read a stat that made it's way into conversation at the office the other day. I think I might be a little loopy for having said it. I had had a crazy morning of running late, spilling coffee on myself, being late for two meetings because I got my start times wrong...just a mess overall. The conversation started with me recounting all of these and ended with:
'And it all started even before I got here. I was running late so I had to eat my breakfast in the car and did you know that when you eat while driving that's the equivalent of having had 6 drinks because of how distracted you are? So basically, I drove to work drunk.'
Shocked and bewildered stare was what I got in response.
MUST. LEARN. TO. SHUT. MY. MOUTH. SOONER.
'And it all started even before I got here. I was running late so I had to eat my breakfast in the car and did you know that when you eat while driving that's the equivalent of having had 6 drinks because of how distracted you are? So basically, I drove to work drunk.'
Shocked and bewildered stare was what I got in response.
MUST. LEARN. TO. SHUT. MY. MOUTH. SOONER.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Dude's not stupid
GBack put the radio on at work the other day and the latest song by Jason Derulo came on. He's one of those bubblegum pop, R&B whatever kinda singers that Hot 89.9 plays over and over and over again until he comes out with a new song that they then play over and over and over again.
But the thing about this kid - and I can say kid because he can't legally drink in the US until September - is that he's a smart marketer. He begins every one of his songs with a signature sound bite. He has this 'overlord' voice come on and say 'JR' which makes no sense to me as his initials are JD but maybe he goes by JR out in the industry? But that's always chased with him singing his name before he launches into his song. I can't think of any other artist that does this but I'll tell you what it makes me remember about him...his songs and his name. A winning combination when you are a fairly new artist on the radio.
Smart, smart marketing.
Here's some examples for you non-89.9 listeners. All you need to listen to is like the first 15 seconds so it won't be a total assault on your senses ;o)
But the thing about this kid - and I can say kid because he can't legally drink in the US until September - is that he's a smart marketer. He begins every one of his songs with a signature sound bite. He has this 'overlord' voice come on and say 'JR' which makes no sense to me as his initials are JD but maybe he goes by JR out in the industry? But that's always chased with him singing his name before he launches into his song. I can't think of any other artist that does this but I'll tell you what it makes me remember about him...his songs and his name. A winning combination when you are a fairly new artist on the radio.
Smart, smart marketing.
Here's some examples for you non-89.9 listeners. All you need to listen to is like the first 15 seconds so it won't be a total assault on your senses ;o)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Happy St. Patty's Day
And this is why the average American should NOT be interviewed for TV.
'I wanna kno where da gol at'
'I wanna kno where da gol at'
Thursday, February 25, 2010
One of those weeks
It's been a long week. I've been slammed by so many people on so many issues of which very few are in my control or my pay range. And it just keeps coming.
After responding to one blasting email this afternoon with a lengthy and detailed rebuttal, I realized it took me 2 HOURS to write the email. Once I breathed deeply a few times and mentally gave myself a pep talk, I hit 'send'. I then turned to Gback and said...
'I'm going for a drink'
It was 3:30. I meant to say, 'I'm going for a coffee.'
There were quite a few chuckles but it summarizes well the week I've had.
One more day...
After responding to one blasting email this afternoon with a lengthy and detailed rebuttal, I realized it took me 2 HOURS to write the email. Once I breathed deeply a few times and mentally gave myself a pep talk, I hit 'send'. I then turned to Gback and said...
'I'm going for a drink'
It was 3:30. I meant to say, 'I'm going for a coffee.'
There were quite a few chuckles but it summarizes well the week I've had.
One more day...
Monday, February 22, 2010
Payback's a beyotch
It's 6:28 am and I'm awake. Not because I want to be and not because my alarm clock went off, although it should have but I turned it off for the weekend and forgot to turn it back on last night.
No, I'm up because I was awoken by my next door neighbour and his new girlfriend. For the 3rd time this weekend they have made the noisy case for me to buy a single family home.
And here I thought I was done with this when I moved out of the apartment building. *le sigh*
Epilogue: So on my way out of the driveway this morning I wanted a good look at the unknown vehicle sitting in the double driveway I share with the neighbour because I wanted to see what this operatic singer drove. One of the things my neighbour is notable for is the fact that he has a vanity plate. As in his license plate says his first name and his ex had one that said her first name. Sure enough, he somehow has found someone with a vanity plate that's her last name. Good god. And she also has a beaded rosary hanging from her rearview mirror. Lemme tell ya, a good catholic wouldn't have been making those kinda noises ;o)
Wow, I'm nosey. ;0)
No, I'm up because I was awoken by my next door neighbour and his new girlfriend. For the 3rd time this weekend they have made the noisy case for me to buy a single family home.
And here I thought I was done with this when I moved out of the apartment building. *le sigh*
Epilogue: So on my way out of the driveway this morning I wanted a good look at the unknown vehicle sitting in the double driveway I share with the neighbour because I wanted to see what this operatic singer drove. One of the things my neighbour is notable for is the fact that he has a vanity plate. As in his license plate says his first name and his ex had one that said her first name. Sure enough, he somehow has found someone with a vanity plate that's her last name. Good god. And she also has a beaded rosary hanging from her rearview mirror. Lemme tell ya, a good catholic wouldn't have been making those kinda noises ;o)
Wow, I'm nosey. ;0)
Monday, February 15, 2010
I can't believe I'm going to admit to this...
...but that douchebag John Mayer has finally said something that didn't make my hair curl and my teeth clench.
In a January interview for Rolling Stone, when asked about America's sweetheart Jennifer Aniston, he had this to say:
'What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is fucking fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.’ '
Okay, seriously, I gotta give the man props for this one. He was with someone fantastic but at one point in time said, whoa, this isn't what I want for me in the long run. So he ends it, breaks our poor Jenni A's heart, and is villainized for it. I feel pity for him. However, he's still said some pretty douchey things after that which he SHOULD be villainized for. (How the hell do you spell villainized?)
But he goes on to say this and this is what is striking a chord with me today...
'I’ll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt attached. Think of how much mental capacity I’m using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a fuck about it.'
I feel like saying, 'amen, brother, amen.' Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about how much effort I put into dating and meeting someone. And I'm not even necessarily looking for a 'life partner' or 'baby daddy' - imagine what that time involvement would be like? And lemme tell ya, I'm getting pretty tired of it...not giving up, just thinking perhaps it's time to focus on something else...hmmm...
BTW, John Mayer is STILL a douchebag.
In a January interview for Rolling Stone, when asked about America's sweetheart Jennifer Aniston, he had this to say:
'What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is fucking fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.’ '
Okay, seriously, I gotta give the man props for this one. He was with someone fantastic but at one point in time said, whoa, this isn't what I want for me in the long run. So he ends it, breaks our poor Jenni A's heart, and is villainized for it. I feel pity for him. However, he's still said some pretty douchey things after that which he SHOULD be villainized for. (How the hell do you spell villainized?)
But he goes on to say this and this is what is striking a chord with me today...
'I’ll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt attached. Think of how much mental capacity I’m using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a fuck about it.'
I feel like saying, 'amen, brother, amen.' Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about how much effort I put into dating and meeting someone. And I'm not even necessarily looking for a 'life partner' or 'baby daddy' - imagine what that time involvement would be like? And lemme tell ya, I'm getting pretty tired of it...not giving up, just thinking perhaps it's time to focus on something else...hmmm...
BTW, John Mayer is STILL a douchebag.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Walk with me
I had the strangest thing happened to me last week.
I was out walking somewhere and could sense that someone was coming up on my rear to overtake me on the sidewalk. I did what was nice, move over so they could. But instead of doing it, they fell in step with me and walked with me for a good 20 paces or so.
When I realized this was the case, not that I could really hear them (I was listening to my 'slit my wrists' playlist on my iPod) but more I could sense them there, I turned to see if I knew the person. He turned and looked back at me, we were both a little startled to see someone we didn't know, exchanged silent smiles (he too was on his iPod), and he quickly picked up his pace and carried on.
The strange thing about it was, it was nice to just walk with someone without saying something. I know it sounds weird but it was nice to share a moment with someone you didn't know. Kinda one of those reaching out to humanity kinda moments. You know, like when you see momma ducks and baby ducks out together (I love ducks) and you look up to see someone else watching them and you share a 'wasn't that cute?' smile with each other. It was kinda like that.
Anyways...moving on.
I was out walking somewhere and could sense that someone was coming up on my rear to overtake me on the sidewalk. I did what was nice, move over so they could. But instead of doing it, they fell in step with me and walked with me for a good 20 paces or so.
When I realized this was the case, not that I could really hear them (I was listening to my 'slit my wrists' playlist on my iPod) but more I could sense them there, I turned to see if I knew the person. He turned and looked back at me, we were both a little startled to see someone we didn't know, exchanged silent smiles (he too was on his iPod), and he quickly picked up his pace and carried on.
The strange thing about it was, it was nice to just walk with someone without saying something. I know it sounds weird but it was nice to share a moment with someone you didn't know. Kinda one of those reaching out to humanity kinda moments. You know, like when you see momma ducks and baby ducks out together (I love ducks) and you look up to see someone else watching them and you share a 'wasn't that cute?' smile with each other. It was kinda like that.
Anyways...moving on.
The things we say
So I have friends who like to document what their kids say because it's either just so darned cute or because they can't believe some of the things that come out of their mouths. I've shared some of my 'phews finer moments with you but I got to thinking, after a few Facebook status updates that perhaps I should share with you my favourite quotes of the day, said by whomever, so you could just laugh with me...or, as the case may be, shake your head with me - kinda like an overheard in L's life. So, without further adieu, some of my favs as of late.
After an evening playing the Princess of Finland, the $1.50 dollar store tiara was affectionately stroked:
'I love this tiara. And it's not even tacky.'
After discussing the use of paper versus online thesauruses and the fact that you end up singing the alphabet to remember that m comes before q:
'That's why I use an online thesaurus. Then I don't need to know the alphabet.'
During a meeting where tasks were being overly assigned to one person (ie. me):
'I only have one L'
There will be more to come, I'm certain...
After an evening playing the Princess of Finland, the $1.50 dollar store tiara was affectionately stroked:
'I love this tiara. And it's not even tacky.'
After discussing the use of paper versus online thesauruses and the fact that you end up singing the alphabet to remember that m comes before q:
'That's why I use an online thesaurus. Then I don't need to know the alphabet.'
During a meeting where tasks were being overly assigned to one person (ie. me):
'I only have one L'
There will be more to come, I'm certain...
Friday, February 12, 2010
I like shiny things
After my little car accident back in January, I needed to take it in to get fixed. And, being the procrastinator I am, I figured now was as good a time as any to get my car repainted where I whacked it against the garage door (whoops) and where someone keyed it (asshole).
Although I gulped just a little when I got the quote - as in here's my paycheque for this pay period - I knew it had to be done. The car is leased after all, and I haven't decided if I'll buy it or not, so I do need to keep it in pretty good shape.
I got to pick it up this am and upon entering the parking lot of the body shop, there she sat, like a beautiful ruby against the white snow banks, shinier than the day I got her.
I went into the body shop and was talking with the manager and he gave me the low down on washing my car - all touchless wash and no waxing for 3 months. The convo went something like this:
Autoshop Manager: So, no brush washing or waxing for 90 days.
L: Which is like....
AM: (insert hard look over his glasses at me) 3 months
L: Right, which is like...what are we, February?
AM: Oh! I'd say by end of May you can wash it with a brush again.
I think this is where he finally got that I was trying to figure out what month 90 days from now would be, not that 90 days = 3 months, but this certainly didn't help my case for what came next out of my mouth...
AM: Yeah, the paint needs time to set. I know it sounds odd but it does.
L: Oh, like nail polish needs time to set before you do anything so you don't get scratches or marks in it?
AM: (insert furrowed brow) Ugh, yeah, I guess.
In my defence, I had yet to have my morning cuppa joe. I guess I channel the inner girly-girl in me when I haven't had enough caffeine.
Although I gulped just a little when I got the quote - as in here's my paycheque for this pay period - I knew it had to be done. The car is leased after all, and I haven't decided if I'll buy it or not, so I do need to keep it in pretty good shape.
I got to pick it up this am and upon entering the parking lot of the body shop, there she sat, like a beautiful ruby against the white snow banks, shinier than the day I got her.
I went into the body shop and was talking with the manager and he gave me the low down on washing my car - all touchless wash and no waxing for 3 months. The convo went something like this:
Autoshop Manager: So, no brush washing or waxing for 90 days.
L: Which is like....
AM: (insert hard look over his glasses at me) 3 months
L: Right, which is like...what are we, February?
AM: Oh! I'd say by end of May you can wash it with a brush again.
I think this is where he finally got that I was trying to figure out what month 90 days from now would be, not that 90 days = 3 months, but this certainly didn't help my case for what came next out of my mouth...
AM: Yeah, the paint needs time to set. I know it sounds odd but it does.
L: Oh, like nail polish needs time to set before you do anything so you don't get scratches or marks in it?
AM: (insert furrowed brow) Ugh, yeah, I guess.
In my defence, I had yet to have my morning cuppa joe. I guess I channel the inner girly-girl in me when I haven't had enough caffeine.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Even Little Miss Naughty blushes
For Xmas, Gback gave me a new key chain he had bought while en route to Africa. Apparently I was the first that came to mind in Heathrow when he saw it with this on it:
Alright, I admit, it's not completely uncharacteristic of me (save for the purpleness of it) so I put my keys on it and called it a day. Sure, it makes me chuckle when I see it every day but well, isn't that part of its charm?
Today I had to go in for an oil change and to get my car looked at after my accident. The dealership called to let me know that the guy who does the estimates would actually not be available and that I could still come in for the oil change. When I hung up the phone, I mentioned to GBack that I would have to give them my keys on the ring. We had a giggle and then I didn't think much about it after that.
Fast forward a few hours and I arrived at the dealership and got to chatting with the guy who I had rebooked my appointment with. It was quite friendly and then as I handed over my keys, I know I must have blushed but neither of us said anything. However, upon me getting my keys back, and in front of the cashier no less, this same service manager decided to give me a little lecture on the weight of my keys.
Yes, the weight of my keys. Apparently, over time (like a decade), additional weight puts pressure on the ignition and then you can be driving along and BAM, your car stops working. Scary stuff. I think I must have looked like someone just shot me because he reassured me that it was something that takes years to happen. He pointed out that it's mostly the 'A' cube letter that weighs the most but when it's just that, the keys and Little Miss Naughty, you KNOW he looked at all of the items on that key ring.
I have to go back on Monday.
I'm still/already blushing.
Alright, I admit, it's not completely uncharacteristic of me (save for the purpleness of it) so I put my keys on it and called it a day. Sure, it makes me chuckle when I see it every day but well, isn't that part of its charm?
Today I had to go in for an oil change and to get my car looked at after my accident. The dealership called to let me know that the guy who does the estimates would actually not be available and that I could still come in for the oil change. When I hung up the phone, I mentioned to GBack that I would have to give them my keys on the ring. We had a giggle and then I didn't think much about it after that.
Fast forward a few hours and I arrived at the dealership and got to chatting with the guy who I had rebooked my appointment with. It was quite friendly and then as I handed over my keys, I know I must have blushed but neither of us said anything. However, upon me getting my keys back, and in front of the cashier no less, this same service manager decided to give me a little lecture on the weight of my keys.
Yes, the weight of my keys. Apparently, over time (like a decade), additional weight puts pressure on the ignition and then you can be driving along and BAM, your car stops working. Scary stuff. I think I must have looked like someone just shot me because he reassured me that it was something that takes years to happen. He pointed out that it's mostly the 'A' cube letter that weighs the most but when it's just that, the keys and Little Miss Naughty, you KNOW he looked at all of the items on that key ring.
I have to go back on Monday.
I'm still/already blushing.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Prepping for memory lane
I just posted about my upcoming trip home for my highschool reunion. Couldn't go home to a sweeter song. This one's for the TBay peeps...
Because apparently 14 years is noteworthy?
I had always said I wouldn't go back to TBay for my highschool reunion. I dunno - there was something about going back to that place in time that felt, fake to me. I guess, because my parents went through a nasty separation when I was a teenager and I grew up faster than I wanted to in some instances, that by the time I got to university I felt I really got to grow and 'come into myself'.
When I went home my first Christmas I remember being double-fisted in the bar at 8:00 p.m.* and trying to make small talk with people from my graduating class that I realized, 'you know, I never really even LIKED you, I was just polite and nice to you because of my position at the school**.' I decided then and there that there was no way I could go back to that every summer and pretty much from that point on, I had left TBay for good.
A few weeks ago, a message showed up in my Facebook inbox from a former classmate checking dates on what would work for us 'out of towners' for a highschool reunion.
But instead of running for the hills screaming in pain, I took a minute to reflect on the opportunity. And as so happens so often these days, I surprised myself, and I'm sure IS and JF who I always proclaimed I would 'never go to one of those things', and replied back with a 'you know what? I'm in.'
July 24, 2010. 14 years + a few weeks after my highschool graduation, I'm heading back for a little trip down memory lane. If anything, it'll be a good few days on the road as I plan to do the trek solo across the province. I need it to clear my head, gain my composure and figure out just where I'm headed next. I fully expect to come home with some perspective if it's nothing other than to remark on the fact that...
You've come a long way, baby.
* In TBay, unlike Ottawa, you go to the bar at 8pm or you'll never get in as EVERYONE in the city goes to just one bar each night. I like to call it 'the circuit.' What that means though is that you're in by 8 or 9 and there until closing time. Best get drunk ASAP and then the night's a blur ;o)
** I was co-president of our HS for two years in a row.
When I went home my first Christmas I remember being double-fisted in the bar at 8:00 p.m.* and trying to make small talk with people from my graduating class that I realized, 'you know, I never really even LIKED you, I was just polite and nice to you because of my position at the school**.' I decided then and there that there was no way I could go back to that every summer and pretty much from that point on, I had left TBay for good.
A few weeks ago, a message showed up in my Facebook inbox from a former classmate checking dates on what would work for us 'out of towners' for a highschool reunion.
But instead of running for the hills screaming in pain, I took a minute to reflect on the opportunity. And as so happens so often these days, I surprised myself, and I'm sure IS and JF who I always proclaimed I would 'never go to one of those things', and replied back with a 'you know what? I'm in.'
July 24, 2010. 14 years + a few weeks after my highschool graduation, I'm heading back for a little trip down memory lane. If anything, it'll be a good few days on the road as I plan to do the trek solo across the province. I need it to clear my head, gain my composure and figure out just where I'm headed next. I fully expect to come home with some perspective if it's nothing other than to remark on the fact that...
You've come a long way, baby.
* In TBay, unlike Ottawa, you go to the bar at 8pm or you'll never get in as EVERYONE in the city goes to just one bar each night. I like to call it 'the circuit.' What that means though is that you're in by 8 or 9 and there until closing time. Best get drunk ASAP and then the night's a blur ;o)
** I was co-president of our HS for two years in a row.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My business is to create
I've been feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed lately and well, just general malaise and restlessness as well. So I did last night what I do when I need to find my happy place: I did laundry and cooked.
I'm not very good with exact cooking. I'm more of a sauce/random spicing/throw it all together and see what happens kinda cook. Baking and I do not get along. At. All. But turn me loose to make a sauce or a soup and I'm all good.
It had been nagging at me that I had 3 containers of turkey leftovers and bones that needed to go into a soup. So I started with the lobster pot I have last night and got cooking. 3 hours later, I was finally done and had 41 cups (my new Tupperware that I bought for the occasion had volume measurements on it) of more of a turkey stew than soup. One of these days I'll learn to cook for less of an army and to stop adding in more of this and a little more of that.
As a result, last night was the first night in weeks I've slept through the night. No anxiety about work, no other 'what's the meaning of life and where am I headed' thoughts, no nothing. I felt like a gal without a care in the world this am. It never ceases to amaze me how you can find release in some of the smaller mundane things in life.
I'm not very good with exact cooking. I'm more of a sauce/random spicing/throw it all together and see what happens kinda cook. Baking and I do not get along. At. All. But turn me loose to make a sauce or a soup and I'm all good.
It had been nagging at me that I had 3 containers of turkey leftovers and bones that needed to go into a soup. So I started with the lobster pot I have last night and got cooking. 3 hours later, I was finally done and had 41 cups (my new Tupperware that I bought for the occasion had volume measurements on it) of more of a turkey stew than soup. One of these days I'll learn to cook for less of an army and to stop adding in more of this and a little more of that.
As a result, last night was the first night in weeks I've slept through the night. No anxiety about work, no other 'what's the meaning of life and where am I headed' thoughts, no nothing. I felt like a gal without a care in the world this am. It never ceases to amaze me how you can find release in some of the smaller mundane things in life.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
This needs to be in a movie
I'd been exposed to Moby on an off-chance basis up until getting my iPod and then JJ & Co. gave me 4 albums worth to begin my musical education. I heard this song for the first time tonight. Put it on. Have a listen. Do other things and just think...
Could you see this with some crazy triumphant part of a movie? With great scenery? Perhaps wilderness? With a big panning shot of someone standing all alone? Or two lovers or two family members being reunited? Or maybe someone driving carefree with the roof down on a windy, sunny, autumn day with the leaves all colourful and blowing in the wind?
Something about this song moved me tonight. Thought I'd share. Because life's all about these little moments, isn't it?
(To listen: click on the title of my blog. You may be brought to a new page for just this post. Click on it again. Apparently, that will start a download of the song for you from box.net. I hope this isn't illegal sharing or something 'cause my intention was to have this embedded somehow. I blame Blogger for giving neophytes bad instructions. If only I was a bigger nerd.)
P.S. What's neat about box. net is that it is really a file sharing site so that it acts like a virtual network. Whenever one of you downloads the song, it sends me a notification. So I can see how many of you are actually going to listen to it AND who's not working mid-day. ;o) Don't get me wrong, I love that you read my ramblings so mum's the word, mmmkay?
Could you see this with some crazy triumphant part of a movie? With great scenery? Perhaps wilderness? With a big panning shot of someone standing all alone? Or two lovers or two family members being reunited? Or maybe someone driving carefree with the roof down on a windy, sunny, autumn day with the leaves all colourful and blowing in the wind?
Something about this song moved me tonight. Thought I'd share. Because life's all about these little moments, isn't it?
(To listen: click on the title of my blog. You may be brought to a new page for just this post. Click on it again. Apparently, that will start a download of the song for you from box.net. I hope this isn't illegal sharing or something 'cause my intention was to have this embedded somehow. I blame Blogger for giving neophytes bad instructions. If only I was a bigger nerd.)
P.S. What's neat about box. net is that it is really a file sharing site so that it acts like a virtual network. Whenever one of you downloads the song, it sends me a notification. So I can see how many of you are actually going to listen to it AND who's not working mid-day. ;o) Don't get me wrong, I love that you read my ramblings so mum's the word, mmmkay?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Kids say the darndest things
I'm at the fam's tonight baby-sittin' the 'phews. We watched Mighty Machines and specifically, the 'Making Waves' edition which looked at all kinds of boats. When the container ship came open, the blonde twin called for me to come see from the kitchen where I was putting dinner in the oven. The conversation went something like this:
BT: Aunt L, see, look at all those trailers and the cranes lifting them off. There's 1,2,3,4 cranes.
AL: Wow, that's a lot.
BT: Yeah, you know what's in those containers?
AL: No, what?
BT: TVs.
AL: TVs?
BT: Yeah.
(Inside voice: hmmm, okay, I can work with this - because that's how I roll)
AL: You know what else is in those containers?
BT: What?
AL: Couches.
BT: Yeah?
AL: Yup. And chairs. And...(inside voice: shit, as if there's nothing else in this living room that works for this example)
BT: (excitedly) And TOYS?!?!?
AL: Yup. Toys, too.
BT: And liquor?
AL: WHAT?!?!
BT: Liquor.
AL: Liquor?!? (inside voice: what the FUCK has my brother been teaching you? And everyone worries about ME being the bad influence)
BT: (insert 'wtf is wrong with you - don't you understand English?' tone) Yeah.
AL: Yup (inside voice: just roll with it. Don't make a big deal, just let it go and find out what the hell your brother has been teaching them.)
Upon their arrival home, my brother reminded me that the new Trailer Park Boys movie (Countdown to Liquor) is now out on DVD which triggers me to remember to tell them about this exchange in a 'speaking of liquor' kinda way. Big Bro then ponders out loud where they would have picked that word up considering he hardly uses it. After a few seconds, he realizes that he mentioned the name of the movie with the kids in the van last night. And apparently, the kids see the containers on the ship as being the same kinda TRAILERS that are on the back of semis. I guess of the movie title those words, trailer and liquor, were the only ones that were understood and have now been inexplicably linked in someone's mind.
Awesome.
BT: Aunt L, see, look at all those trailers and the cranes lifting them off. There's 1,2,3,4 cranes.
AL: Wow, that's a lot.
BT: Yeah, you know what's in those containers?
AL: No, what?
BT: TVs.
AL: TVs?
BT: Yeah.
(Inside voice: hmmm, okay, I can work with this - because that's how I roll)
AL: You know what else is in those containers?
BT: What?
AL: Couches.
BT: Yeah?
AL: Yup. And chairs. And...(inside voice: shit, as if there's nothing else in this living room that works for this example)
BT: (excitedly) And TOYS?!?!?
AL: Yup. Toys, too.
BT: And liquor?
AL: WHAT?!?!
BT: Liquor.
AL: Liquor?!? (inside voice: what the FUCK has my brother been teaching you? And everyone worries about ME being the bad influence)
BT: (insert 'wtf is wrong with you - don't you understand English?' tone) Yeah.
AL: Yup (inside voice: just roll with it. Don't make a big deal, just let it go and find out what the hell your brother has been teaching them.)
Upon their arrival home, my brother reminded me that the new Trailer Park Boys movie (Countdown to Liquor) is now out on DVD which triggers me to remember to tell them about this exchange in a 'speaking of liquor' kinda way. Big Bro then ponders out loud where they would have picked that word up considering he hardly uses it. After a few seconds, he realizes that he mentioned the name of the movie with the kids in the van last night. And apparently, the kids see the containers on the ship as being the same kinda TRAILERS that are on the back of semis. I guess of the movie title those words, trailer and liquor, were the only ones that were understood and have now been inexplicably linked in someone's mind.
Awesome.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Bad Romance (aka Bad Drag)
Some background music for this post...
Getting my am coffee today, I saw a poster for the campus GLBTQ pride week and beside that, a poster for a drag show at the campus bar.
'Scuse me? A drag show where I work? Well now that's interesting.
But do you think I could find anyone to go with me last minute? Of COURSE I could. My trusty 'date' CBeau.
It's rare that I feel like a minority in my life. But walking into the campus bar, I soon realized, besides perhaps the bar staff, that CBeau and I might just be the only two heterosexual people in the bar. And even more ironic, considering we went and left together, it could very well appear like we were actually on a date.
The show was a riot. Isis (pictured below) performed up a storm to Bad Romance and Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend. Even better (s)he posed for a pic for CBeau for my blog. (S)he was followed by 6 more queens and kings (there were some ladies dressed as men in there too - thanks Wikipedia for schooling me on proper cross dressing terminology) all hoping to be named, you guessed it, king and queen of pride week. We saw Bollywood 'dancers', men who passably looked like women (and ironically enough, a lot like my tenant), booty shaking, really bad barefoot grinding up against the mic stand, stilettos in size 12, and LOTS of dancing by the crowd. All I have to say is, I now know why the women of Sex and the City would go to gay clubs to dance. That and I can't wait for 80's night on Valentine's Day. I'm gonna be shakin' my money maker to Manic Monday while y'all are being 'romantic'. That's after my greedy 10 date afternoon. ;o)
Anyways, all this to say, it was a good Friday night of hoopla and shenanigans.
Getting my am coffee today, I saw a poster for the campus GLBTQ pride week and beside that, a poster for a drag show at the campus bar.
'Scuse me? A drag show where I work? Well now that's interesting.
But do you think I could find anyone to go with me last minute? Of COURSE I could. My trusty 'date' CBeau.
It's rare that I feel like a minority in my life. But walking into the campus bar, I soon realized, besides perhaps the bar staff, that CBeau and I might just be the only two heterosexual people in the bar. And even more ironic, considering we went and left together, it could very well appear like we were actually on a date.
The show was a riot. Isis (pictured below) performed up a storm to Bad Romance and Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend. Even better (s)he posed for a pic for CBeau for my blog. (S)he was followed by 6 more queens and kings (there were some ladies dressed as men in there too - thanks Wikipedia for schooling me on proper cross dressing terminology) all hoping to be named, you guessed it, king and queen of pride week. We saw Bollywood 'dancers', men who passably looked like women (and ironically enough, a lot like my tenant), booty shaking, really bad barefoot grinding up against the mic stand, stilettos in size 12, and LOTS of dancing by the crowd. All I have to say is, I now know why the women of Sex and the City would go to gay clubs to dance. That and I can't wait for 80's night on Valentine's Day. I'm gonna be shakin' my money maker to Manic Monday while y'all are being 'romantic'. That's after my greedy 10 date afternoon. ;o)
Anyways, all this to say, it was a good Friday night of hoopla and shenanigans.
House Hippo
A few weeks ago, Big Oil and I were out with A & C and we got onto the discussion of House Hippo and some crazy commercial Big Oil had seen so I thought I'd share. Also, I'm using it as a tutorial for a fellow blogger to learn how to embed a video. (I feel like that's so dirty for some reason.)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I'm sorry - but I'm not admitting to having done it
Author's note: I didn't realize I hadn't published this back in June but seriously, just read this. I havent' changed any of the info in it so this is as real as a post as it gets.
W. T. F?
The Centre for Conflict Education and Research: Advanced Practice Workshop
Ontario has recently enacted The Apology Act 2009 to permit apologies to occur in certain circumstances without the apology constituting an admission that creates liability for the apologizing party.
This one-day course is intended to give participants an opportunity to reflect on the structure of an effective apology and to analyze its essential elements. Students will develop an understanding of Ontario’s Apology Act and its impact upon giving apologies in different contexts. Participants will examine how to facilitate the creation of effective apologies in a variety of contexts where parties are engaged in conflict.
Location: Carleton University
Date: Friday, June 26
Time: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Cost: $362.25 early bird if you register by June 5, and $393.75 after June 5.
For information and to register, please visit http://www2.carleton.ca/law/conflict/, contact Susan Smallwood, ext. 2785, or e-mail susan_smallwood@carleton.ca.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Well played, CCS, well played
I'm a bit of a nerd. I know you're all saying 'pfffft, noooooooo'. Yes, I admit it. I'm a nerd. I like nerdy things like why my eyes tear up or Darwin's birthday or the surveys sent to me because I'm part of National Geographic Base Camp.
This also means that I'm pretty in tune with my work laptop. (*cough* loser *cough*) It also means, that when it doesn't work perfectly well or I have trouble linking to the network from home to feed my workaholic anxieties at 3:00 am, I call the service desk for help. Not at 3:00 am, just the next am.
I recently discovered that I actually call more than most other users. Like, um, a lot more. As in I'm on a first name basis with all of the service desk guys and there's a lot of general ribbing going on whenever I call. But whatever, they love me.
Or so I thought until a few months ago, one of them joked with me that I was on the CCS blacklist. The list, apparently, tracks their frequent users and is helping the powers that be above the service desk support guys to see if a cost-recovery model is required. I panicked for about oh, 3-4 days until I had to call them again for help and they all had a very loud laugh at me as they yelled over their fort walls that I had believed that BS story.
Fast forward to today and the admin was testing our emergency notification system again. As well as text messages and emails, a pop-up message is supposed to take over your computer and force you to stop working. Well it didn't happen for me. Last time, it was because I was on my laptop and wasn't connected through some software to the system.
So I did what a diligent employee does who doesn't want to miss out on emergency notifications. I emailed the service desk to say, not sure who this should go to, I know it's a technical issue, so can you please pass this along. I had two follow up emails. One stated that a 'ticket' had been opened to address my concern. The other stated the following:
HA HA HA! Well played, CCS, well played.
This also means that I'm pretty in tune with my work laptop. (*cough* loser *cough*) It also means, that when it doesn't work perfectly well or I have trouble linking to the network from home to feed my workaholic anxieties at 3:00 am, I call the service desk for help. Not at 3:00 am, just the next am.
I recently discovered that I actually call more than most other users. Like, um, a lot more. As in I'm on a first name basis with all of the service desk guys and there's a lot of general ribbing going on whenever I call. But whatever, they love me.
Or so I thought until a few months ago, one of them joked with me that I was on the CCS blacklist. The list, apparently, tracks their frequent users and is helping the powers that be above the service desk support guys to see if a cost-recovery model is required. I panicked for about oh, 3-4 days until I had to call them again for help and they all had a very loud laugh at me as they yelled over their fort walls that I had believed that BS story.
Fast forward to today and the admin was testing our emergency notification system again. As well as text messages and emails, a pop-up message is supposed to take over your computer and force you to stop working. Well it didn't happen for me. Last time, it was because I was on my laptop and wasn't connected through some software to the system.
So I did what a diligent employee does who doesn't want to miss out on emergency notifications. I emailed the service desk to say, not sure who this should go to, I know it's a technical issue, so can you please pass this along. I had two follow up emails. One stated that a 'ticket' had been opened to address my concern. The other stated the following:
It was determined by Campus Safety that you were not deemed sufficiently essential enough to warrant the use of emergency broadcast systems.
Have a nice day
HA HA HA! Well played, CCS, well played.
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