Didn't see this one coming either...

As I finished getting ready to leave the house after 2 days of cold recovery, I noticed a hair that seemed a little wild. And then I got close to the mirror.

I plucked it because I had a moment of "oh, my god, I have a grey hair" but it was too shiny and white blond looking to really be a grey hair, right? Right? RIGHT?!?!?

I'm just going to tell myself it was platinum blonde. Yeah, platinum. Not grey, platinum.

Losing a member of the sisterhood

I would like to say I'm speechless, and I guess I am if you consider that repeating "holy f*$#" over and over again kinda does render you a bit speechless if you can't come up with anything better to say, right?

So while I was lying on the couch watching the last episode of season II of Sex in the City, I got a phone call from a friend (S) asking if I'd spoken to our mutual friend M. These two have been part of the rocks that have gotten me used to being in the sisterhood of the single women again - always encouraging of going out and doing things, learning to do stuff for ourselves, being our fabulous single ladies always up for laughter and good times, etc.

Well, on Christmas Eve at 3:30, M got married at city hall to her ex boyfriend.

The news left me speechless well other than saying "holy F*$&" over and over again. I thought that maybe they'd get back together but married?!? Yowsah.

And with one less sister in the sisterhood.

I know I shouldn't be, but strangely I am

So, last night my highschool grad date sent me a friend request on FB. It's been for-ev-er since we last spoke and when I added him, I noticed my number was gettin' pretty high...no, not that number, my number of friends. J was 197 in fact.

So today I logged in after leaving the germ factory and successfully getting the new BBQ out of my car on the very first attempt (you go, girl!) and I noticed that I was now down to 196 friends from the last time I logged in.

Thing is, I went through my friends list. Think I can figure out who it is? Ahhh, the gloriousness that is fakebook - I have no idea. Even worse, I feel bad. Bad that I can't figure out who it is and even worse because someone *gasp* removed me from their friends list. It's kinda offensive but even worse I don't know who to feel offended by!

I think Fakebook will be the bane of the 21st century.

Update: Today I'm back to 197 friends. I didn't accept a friend request so who knows. I think *think* that someone killed the FB account and then reopened it because I know that FB saves ALL of your settings and friends and you don't have to reopen a brand new account (and yes, now you should be scared of FB) so perhaps that's what happened? Dunno - but it's odd...and I still can't figure out who it was...

And to all a good night

I would be remiss if I didn't say....

Merry Christmas to all!

The irony

So good friends M&J invited me over to their place to celebrate Christmas Eve with their family. I had a great time and had many a laugh and good memory. I also found an incredibly ironic item in their house.

I'm a tacky souvenir kinda gal. MS at work saved me from myself in Washington and only let me buy a Starbucks city mug when I was going for some really bad magnets (another classic of mine) and key chains of the Hope Diamond. Anyways, whenever I buy something from a place I've been, it's usually a magnet or a mug. Keep this in mind.

So, I'm going for another glass of champagne and raspberries (M&J know how to do me right) when I go to open their fridge and see...

An albertasauras magnet...

BAH HA HA HA HA...oh, the irony

Grill, Baby, Grill!

Santa brought me a new BBQ for Xmas. It was one of the few things (along with the blender that he'd never used) that le ex took with him when he left. There were a few other miscellaneous items but that was a biggie. But I got the garden hose so I guess there was some compromise...oh, and the house it attachs to ;o)

Anyways, Santa brought me a new BBQ and she's a beaute! If a BBQ could look more feminine and "girly" I don't know how - and she's royal blue. Santa's elves also brought me new utensils for it and Santa's brother gave me a(n empty) propane tank.

Now if only I wasn't terrified of BBQs :o( But knowing that my finest cooking hours will be in front of it this summer, I'm looking for volunteers to show me how to make it my bitch master it use it turn it on.

I'll get Santa's helpers to take a pic of her tomorrow so I can post it.

Merry (e)Xmas! (Hardy HAR HAR HAR!)

Someone's leaving on a jet plane

But it's probably not you - if you're flying Air Canada that is. Yet again, AC is striking across the country and leaving friends and loved ones alone with their unattended baggage that's about to be confiscated and blown up in the airports. I feel their pain.

So I saw this on EB's blog today and I had to steal it and put it on mine because the über geek in me thought it was cool:



The yellow dots are planes. Took me a second to get the weird lighting but that's just the sun "rising and setting" across the land.

(Yes, it's a slow, slow day at work on Xmas eve.)
(Yes, there is now a new category for all things geekarific in this blog - I realized I needed one)

Look out heaven, here I come!

I saw these and I just couldn't resist.

I won't tell you what I was actually looking for when I came across these...

Holy Walker insoles

Genuine Leather and Sand
Made in the Holy Land

HolyWalker is a pair of heel cushions filled with genuine grains of sand collected from the Holy Land.
It's the perfect religious gift for the true believer because with HolyWalker, every step is actually walked on the Holy Land, closer to Walking in the Spirit.
HolyWalker (Patent Pending) is the world's first and only insole filled with genuine grains of sand from the Holy Land.
The perfect religious gift for the true believer. HolyWalker

PRICE:

$34.95

You think I'm kidding, right? I'm creative, but not that good....

Buy online today!

Christmas traditions

Okay, I normally don't do this but thought after reading it on L's blog that I'd participate. After all, being a Christmas lover, how could I not?

1. Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

Tough one - to me they are a package deal. In the eve, movies around a fireplace with goodies is divine. In the morning, toasty HC or coffee and present unwrapping is bliss. How do you choose between divinity and bliss? I guess, realistically, Christmas Eve as there's still some romantic anticipation of the big day to come.

2. Donner or Donder?

Donner.

3. Turkey or ham?

Turkey. Anything else is sacrilegious.

4. Gifts opened all at once, or one at a time?

All at once. I hate being the spotlight of attention and if there's a particular gift I wanna see being opened either from me or someone else, I will stop what I'm doing to watch. I find the one at a time takes too long and I'd rather have the "ohh, what did you get?" conversation after the fact. Besides, making kids wait for one at a time is just cruel. Confession: I'm sooo not good at lying or hiding my true feelings and hate the idea of having to fake excitement over another set of champagne glasses or whatnot.

5. Christmas tree: live or artificial?

When we were kids, my dad would start us on the Christmas tree hunt months in advance. We'd drive around looking at tree tops of trees that were up to 3 or 4 stories tall and he'd tromp in, sometimes 1/2 a km in the snow, to get the perfect tree. He'd cut down the full tree and the top 10-14 feet would be used for our Christmas tree (we had cathedral ceilings in our living room). He'd also drill holes in the trunk of the tree to take branches from the rest of the unused tree to make the perfectly filled out tree. For this reason, live, all the way. I do feel bad though about the Xmas tree industry and think it can't possibly be good for the environment.

However, having lived in apartment buildings for the last 10 years I do have 2 artificial Xmas trees to go with the live one I put up. Yes, I put up 3 trees.

6. Cards: boxed cards, family photo cards, or e-cards?

Boxed. Regardless of what it says, I like putting them on the mantle, seeing what cards people pick out based on their personality type, etc. Realistically though, they end up shredded and in the blue bin so I feel bad for the family photo ones of what to do with them but I understand the appeal of them for some people.

7. Christmas lights: incandescent or LED?

Incandescent - LED's don't "sparkle" enough for me.

8. Re-gift or not?

Re-gift all the way. HOWEVER, that means you have to hang on to it for a period of time until someone's birthday or another occasion. The "unwanteds" are more likely to end up at the Sally Ann or Value Village drop boxes before then. I can't stand having clutter in my house.

9. Gift wrap or gift bags?

I wrap everything. I love tearing open presents and most people do too regardless of if their environmental conscious will let them admit to it openly. I even wrap and THEN gift bag at Xmas time.

10. Best Christmas song?

Baby It's Cold Outside - any artist but I especially like Diana Reeves and Lou Rawls (off of Jazz to the World)

Close runner ups (in no particular order):

Elf's Lament - Barenaked Ladies

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

The Christmas Song - Hootie and the Blowfish (off of A very special Christmas 3)

Jingle Bell Rock - Randy Travis (off of A very special Christmas 2)

11. Best Christmas movie?

The Family Stone.

12. Favourite family tradition?

Our family would also cut down a miniature tree about 2-3' tall that my mom would then wrap Pot of Gold chocolates and other candies and chocolates in tinfoil and hang it from the tree with red, white and green yarn and it was a "Candy Tree". We'd get to pick one or two things off of it and I remember always trying to get the square looking tinfoil ball because that was a caramel chocolate.

When you add the candy tree with two days worth of decorating our huge trees plus Swedish Angel Chimes, ceramic Christmas trees, stockings with miniature cereal boxes with sugary goodness for breakfast on Christmas day, oranges in the toes and a can of alfagettin for lunch on Xmas day, how can you choose just one?

Blinkin' red, white and green

I was headed down to Elgin the other night for a little soiree after badminton when I got going past a house that had a nativity scene set up in the living room window.

I really don't like nativity scenes. In fact, I like them less than the Marys in a Tub. Something about them just creeps me out - almost worse than angels in fact, but not quite. And truth be told, if you've got one in your house, the prankster in me will find a way to replace baby Jesus (pronounced Hey-Zeus) with some other object. (I can hear the lightbulb going off in my SIL's head as she reads and now realizes who was to blame for the sheep being worshiped instead of baby Jesus).

So, this nativity scene lacked the barn backdrop and all the animals but all the other usual suspects were there: Mary with a cherry, Joe the handyman, the 3 smart guys, and baby Jesus. However, they were all about a foot tall. I know, you're probably thinking "as if she just called her Mary with a cherry" and THEN you're thinking "yeah, and?"

Well these statues were in fact made out of glass and had a full size light bulb in each so they all glowed.

CRRR-EEEEE-PY

Even better, they were on some f'ed up timer so that they randomly blinked on and off. And here I thought that magic light show was reserved solely for irritating houses on Taffy Lane.

Karma's a B!tch

Okay, so I complained about the plows to the city. But did that REALLY necessitate the plow following so close to my back end today that all I could see was the giant blade and swirl of snow in my rearview mirror? Seriously - if I have to pray to the car in front of me to "hurry the *bleep* up" because I think if I slow down any he'll hit me, that's not cool.

My plate is now mud with operators, I know it.

DAMN YOU KARMA!

" " (read: speechless)

Oh. My. God.

I don't even know what to say. And to think this is the most powerful man in America, nay the world, and his spawns!

Tell me, how long did you last? I think I got to 40 seconds because it was like a terrible car accident where you're repulsed but at the same time captivated in silent horror.



This gets a "brillance and glory" tag - but let me be clear, it certainly wasn't MY brilliance and glory at work on this one.

It also gets a Waste of Payroll (WoP). I think the American people deserve 8 years of Presidential salary back in addition to the public servant "advisors" this guy employed.

Okay, enough, I'll get down off my soapbox now.

I was being facetious

Okay, I normally don't complain about snow removal because I think this is a bloody big city and I get that it can take a while to do all the streets. That and I know how hard A's K works to keep the streets clean.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD where the hell are all the plows? Is K the only one out there?

While I know that bad weather and a transit strike will slow me down, the fact that it took me 1 hr and 25 minutes to get the 8.5 km to work and not ONE of the streets I drive on (major routes might I add - like Bronson and Hunt Club) were plowed. In fact, I saw 3 sidewalk plows. 3! But not one plow.

In fact, the roads were in such bad shape that you know how people follow the tracks that have been made by the cars before them? Well, on Bronson, they went all over the place. I drove on the gravel shoulder at one point because that's where the tracks went. And I drove OVER THE YELLOW LINE because that's where the tracks went. Granted the other side of the road was way over in the ditch so you could have easily fit, oh, I dunno, a PLOW in between us so I wasn't in any danger. But for the most part, I came up Bronson with the white line that separates your lane from the shoulder running down the middle of my car.

W. T. F.

So I did what I have dreaded doing - I called the city. I got a nice guy on the phone, Patrick, who I was very nice too and joking with to say that I know it's not him and I'm sorry to start his day off with a complaint but I had to call. I asked if the plows were on strike with OC transpo. He said no, they weren't. Thanks Patrick, I think I was being facetious. Anyways, we mutually complained and agreed that he, nor I nor the 3 other people who came from Orleans, Barrhaven and Stittsville that I shared an elevator with this am (no Santa sightings today) had seen a plow on their drives in this am. Apparently there's 400 pieces of equipment on the road. 3 of which were plowing sidewalks on Hunt Club. Awesome.

So complaint ticket 44149 has been sent to the roads department the cosmic void.

(there's a "one way ticket to hell" label on this for all the cussin')

Dude, I'm not even prepared

So last Christmas I had these grandiose plans of making an emergency survival kit and gettin' ready for the next apocalypse (read: ice storm) to be outlasted with proper supplies like water, can openers, flashlights and batteries, a hand-cranked radio and canned goods. Buuuutttt, I didn't. But I've got until 2012 anyways so you know, no biggie. And besides, if it really is an apocalypse, according to dictionary.com, I won't be saved anyways because I'm not within the righteous class of folk - self-righteous, maybe, not righteous.

With the onset of the holidays, I'm yet again considering the emergency kit. And as much as I love my animals and feel that they are very much family, I hadn't considered really what to do with them. Leave the container of food out for them, open with mixing bowls of water all over the place? Think that'll cover it?

Apparently I'm a bad pet owner for even considering this when you can get your animals properly "prepared". Or maybe it's just that I'm not as easily guilted into this like our ugly step-cousins to the south are because they see how their federal agencies do not act in emergency situations.

I dance like he waves his arms

Soooo funny - especially for the Albertasauras blog.

Let's just remember one thing, fat boy

I just took the elevator with Santa. I figured this was prime opportunity to ask him for presents without having to pay some ridiculous sitting fee at the mall.

I asked him for two more dodge ball players for my Wednesday night team.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

Yeah, let's just remember who's dressed up like some mythical being and riding around in elevators, fat boy.

Apparently starting conversations with...

"so if I were to be pulled over by the cops and they asked for my license and registration, what would I give them? Those little pink sheets?"

...makes people think you've been pulled over and they start to laugh.

In fact, I was NOT pulled over but was just preparing for it. I've had it in my bones that my time is due for a ticket or an accident (just like I know one day I will break my femur and probably the right one, not the left one). Statistically, I can't go much longer without one or the other, it's just the odds. So like the diligent car owner, I'm prepping so I don't look like (more of) an ass when it does happen.

And if truth be told, the anonymous person I called who started to laugh at me didn't know themselves exactly what the registration was. So that person learned something too. So there. Shake your head in speechlessness at the both of us, not just me.

BTW, thanks for having the correct answer, spouse of anonymous person. ;o)

Dodge ball skills + babysitting = scarred for life

So, you know, I had grandiose plans for the weekend: cleaning, Christmas shopping, watching TV and catching up on everything I've missed on RoD lately. You know, all good stuff.

And then my brother and sister-in-law called around noon on Saturday and bribed me into babysitting with promises of my own personal diaper changer, good dinner, movies of my choice and early Christmas presents. How's a gal to say no to that?

Easy.

NO!

If I had just said no....but then you wouldn't be so entertained by that story now would you.

Fast forward 6 hours later and I'm at their house babysitting the boys (4 year old twins and their 4 month old baby brother) and trying to do my own bribing of trade offs for eating chicken pot pie. While I have been slowly exposed to the idea of compromise as my nephews are getting older, little did I realize that there was THAT much compromise in just getting them to do the simplest of things. Egads.

Also, I had decided I was going to play it cool and change my OWN diapers this time. I survived the first mess which didn't constitute a #1 or a #2 and was rank beyond description. I even managed to get through getting puked on. It was when I decided little baby C needed to get into pjs and have a diaper change that things went to hell in a handbasket.

So, apparently if you take your sweet ass time getting a diaper ready for a little boy they pee on you? WTF. I didn't get full on pee in face or anything because I'm a master dodger. But there was still a temper tantrum "EW EW EW EW EW" shrieking while furiously stripping to the background music of a 4 month old's giggles. Yeah, I know you're picturing it and either disgusted with me (from the non-breeders) or laughing your asses off (from the breeders). And yeah, he was laughing. LAUGH-ING.

*inside voice: someone's inheritance just shrunk a little*

Let's just say next time, I'm making full use of grandma next door and her master diaper changing skills.

I pulled a fast one and I didn't even know it

Okay, I know that owning a car has some necessary evils in costs that you have to pay. I can accept that. However, I can't accept get upset over LOATHE the fact that I have to make after-market upgrades to things that should just work better or should be adjusted to suit the market the car is sold in.

I need new wipers. Mine freeze up and suck arse. I was going to wait until Xmas to do them with my brother but figured if le ex could change them, it can't be that hard to do. So last night I got out my measuring tape and measured all 3 and then called my brother to make sure I had done it right. We had a 10 minute conversation re. buying them, what to get, what not to get, etc.

While I was stuck in traffic this am I was mentally getting prepped for my day. "Okay, gotta do this, this and this and then go to Canadian Tire to get fancy no freeze washer fluid - which I'm sure will be another blog when I try and put it into the car - and new wipers. Okay. I'm ready to start my day."

Then I got to thinking. While on the phone last night, D mentioned that I could get the wipers like what I had on "the Jeep-o" (his term, not mine - you see why we're siblings). Hmmm...wait a minute, I thought they were the regular wipers because when I was cleaning out the garage a few months ago, I came across the crazy winter wipers that weren't even out of the package and returned them. What's D talking about?

Oh. My. God.

(Insert hamster spinning over time in my little brain.)

Le ex put the OLD wipers that came with the Jeep-o back into the crazy winter wiper package and resealed it. I thought he just hadn't installed them.

I returned used, stock Jeep wipers to Canadian Tire for a full refund last month.

BAH HA HA HA HA! Ohhhhh, that's classic!

Who knew mail would be my demise

Yes, mail, not male. Sorry to disappoint - this won't be some scandalous blog posting.

I had a rather shitty day, for a multitude of reasons, today. I don't have many days like this so when they happen, they hit especially hard.

While I seemed to be able to keep it all together and only smashed the birdie at a few people during badminton tonight (no, MH, I did not injure your brother ;o) ), I was feeling pretty good, all things considered, by the time I got to my mailbox.

I get two magazine subscriptions. One to Nat Geo that I love and one to Wish magazine. Wish is a fashion/lifestyle magazine that's put out by St. Joseph print group and purely Canadian. It's great. I love it. I've given subscriptions as gifts. And it's cheap! And let me reiterate - I LOVE it.

And it's being discontinued. That's what I got this evening when I opened my mailbox and saw the note glued to the front cover. I managed to make it into the garage before letting loose the water works. Over a magazine. That was the cherry on my sundae today. A freaking magazine.

For the lemonade moment? If that's the thing that ends up bringing tears to my eyes, then really, just how bad is my life, right?

I can hear you from here, SIL, "suck it up, buttercup!" And while I will never again admit it, you're right....

Life is still pretty grand, ain't it?

AXSD 813

Should you see this A$$HOLE on the road near you, proceed with caution.

I took my sweet time today and left the house later in hopes of missing traffic. For the second day in a row, it took me 50 minutes to get the 8.5 km from my driveway to my parking spot. 'Suppose it could be worse, right? Admittedly, I'm missing my Jeep these last few days as even with snow tires, the depth of the snow and slush on the streets is playing havoc with my driving - kinda feels like the 80's commercial for Slip and Slide - Sliiii-ipe, slipe and slide. Sliiii-ipe, slipe and slide. Slipe and slide, slipe and slide.

Well other than holding on tight and hoping to hell that the big trucks that came barreling past me on Bronson wouldn't hit ice and I'd become their bumper toy, it was a pretty safe drive. No retards...until I got in the turning lane to turn into campus.

When I looked back and saw the speed with which the aforementioned a$$hole was approaching me, I braced for impact. Surprisingly, his snow tires gripped. He got so close to me though that I couldn't actually see the make of his car because I couldn't see his grill. Nice. Retard. If the ass behind him slides, he's careening right into my back end. Nice.

Anyways, the whole km into campus and my lot, he stayed so close to my bumper that I couldn't tell you the make of the car he was driving until I had parked and walked past his. Seriously, are you retarded? I think everyone needs to do a 180 or a 360 in icy conditions before they get just how non-operative your car can become in winter conditions. Now, I'm not a violent person but it took ALL of my will power to not get my brush out of my car and walk over to his car and smash his taillights. That's how angry I was.

So, if you see a nice bright, royal blue Ford Focus with that license plate coming up on you, get outta the way and let the a$$hole find someone else to rear end. And on his way past you, feel free to flip him off - you know, as a present from me.

Thanks for letting me rant - I needed that. It was either blog about it or be sitting at the campus bar when it opened. Or taking out his taillights...

You don't know what you've got until it's gone

The roommate is in Montreal tonight. The house is mine to myself. I forgot how much I loved living alone, even if she is an anti-social hermit.

*sigh*

Almost makes me want to sell the house and live on my own in an apartment just for my own space. Almost. Not quite though...

SO totally something I would do

Okay, we all have our vices. We also have our vices when it comes to dating as well. I have a HUGE weakness for men that speak Spanish. I quite honestly think it's one of the most beautiful languages and while 1/3 of the world's population speaks it, few of my friends do so whenever I hear someone speaking it, it just feels so magical because I know not everyone around me can understand.

This also means that going to Mexico in a few weeks I will be in complete heaven. And I will have to be careful not to be the blue-eyed, blonde-haired gringa that easily gets swept away with romantic notions of the native speakers of the language.

So last night, the gal pals and I were sitting around having a few drinks and catching up after our dodge ball game. Two friends just recently returned from a trip overseas, one is off to Jamaica in a few days and I'm off to Mexico in a few weeks. All being single, we were also joking around about the merits of vacation romances. And this is where I admitted to my vice much to their merriment.

I woke up this morning to find a few messages on my cell phone as it had been turned off last night when we went to the movie. One of the messages I at first thought was my friend P, who tries to trip me up by calling me and speaking French or on occasion Spanish to me. But then the Spanish was too good for P so I really started to pay attention.

Lovely M had called her friend Diego late last night after our outing and got him to call me and leave me a message in Spanish. It was a very PG message re. having a mutual friend who told him that I liked to hear Spanish, blah blah blah, but oh, did it make me laugh.

Have you thought about it?

So, these metal water bottles are all the latest fashion because apparently in my 29 years my body hasn't been toxified enough that now my Nalgene that I've been using for 5 years is suddenly poison in a solidified form.

Okay, I'll bite. Maybe it is - but I'm still on occassion microwaving things in plastic containers so really, can it be THAT bad?

Anyways, today I got home late from dodge ball because I went out with the ladies, sweaty and all, to a pub for drinks and then, on a whim, we decided to go to a movie (helps when you know the manager of the theatre who will let you in for free at the bat of an eyelash). This means my water bottle was in the freezing car for about 3 hours without any heat.

When I got home, I decided I wanted a nice cold drink and picked up the bottle. You know when metal is so cold that the moisture that's in your hand sticks to it and it kinda hurts to touch it? Yeah, that's how cold it was. Got me to thinking though, wonder what my wet mouth would've been like on it.

It's like reliving the slide and cold winter just to see if it's really true what happens when you stick your tongue to metal. HAAHHHH HA! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME! I won't be drinking out of it for a few more minutes until it warms up. I learned my lesson at age 7....question is, did you?

The biggest faux-pas I can make

I'm about to make.

If you live in Ottawa, the last thing you should ever admit to is not giving two hoots about politics.

I don't give two hoots about politics.

I don't stay up-to-date on who's doing what in parliament, I'm probably a lifer when it comes to voting for one party because that's what I've always done, and well, I just don't care enough to make it a priority in my everyday life to care.

But don't get me wrong, I'm like the Senators fans who jump on the bandwagon when it looks like they're near to winning the Stanley Cup (I know, I'm pretty impressed that I remembered the name of that trophy too). It's like all of a sudden the last thing you should ever utter is "I don't care about the Senators" because that's like saying you hate skating on the canal in the winter.

Yup, I just made that Ottawa faux-pas too!

Anyways, I digress. I will all of a sudden read up on the political parties websites (on election day, of course) of their platforms and their soon-to-be broken promises and will diligently exercise my democratic right as a Canadian and show up to vote. If anything, I do it to pay homage to those that fought so diligently to earn me my right to have that vote and I value it too much to not at least put SOME effort into making an informed decision.

The is all a precursor to what I was exposed to today that I wasn't prepared for. I have now seen signs in windows of houses and in cars driving around saying "I support a coalition"

And the pessimistic, disenchanted voter in me said "UGGGHHHHH, didn't we just go through an election where my visual senses were assaulted every time I left the house? ENOUGH! UNCLE!"

That's my rant of the day. That and I'm pretty sure that all of the money I sunk into my cat getting radioactive treatment has gone down the drain because it hasn't worked. I'll find out for sure on Monday.

Happy wasted time and money day to me - on many fronts. ;o)

For Uncle Kevin

SIL, there was a reason we couldn't remember anything past the 7 packs of smokes.

I'm bringing the 80's back

I was on the phone with M the other day when she made reference to her "ghetto screen" and I heard "ghettoblaster" to which I said, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!" After she clarified my misinterpretation, I told her what I thought I heard and she said, "oh yeah, I remember that".

And with that, I've decided to bring some words from the 80's (and probably early 90's) back à la JT - and oh, it's going to be sexy.

Here are my favs:

-AWESOME (yup, seen it in a few blog posts and FB status updates from me lately, haven't you?!?!)

-Ghettoblaster (this was one of my mom's favourite words when I was growing up - "turn that ghettoblaster off!")

-Barf! (you know, to describe something awful)

-Bogus

-Butt Ugly

-Chill (also chill pill - 10 bucks to the person who last used this in their status updates, C!)

-Dweeb

-For sure/Fer shur

-gnarly

-hoser (that one is for Uncle Kevin, SIL)

-(anything)-o-rama especially if used for names: Sean-o-rama!

-poser - that's for you JB!

-rad

-skank

-spaz, spazzing

-psyched/stoked

-wicked


Wanna know what's even scarier - I still use some of these! BAH HA HA HA HA! Ohhh, that's awe-some! ;o)

Add some of your own in a comment...

And for a real flash back, check this out. I forgot the binders with the flap that velcroed over. You know, this is why it's just not cool for me to wear anything that's at all made a come back the last few years. If you can remember it the first time around, it's not targeted at you this time around, sorry....

I am a bad, bad influence...

All my life I've been plagued with being a visual person. I remember things visually, I have a very descriptive nature, I am very observant of the world around me and I can easily connect the dots to associate things.

Learning to use this to my advantage has made some improvements in my life - for example, if I highlight the crap outta my text books, I'll absorb the information and will recall it based on the layout of the page, the colour of the highlighter used and even the page number sometimes. I'm a visual rememberer. I am also the type of person who never loses something, well almost never, because I can recall where it is. This also means that I can, on any given day, give you an accurate to about 95% description of the entire contents of my house because I can remember exactly what every room of my house looks like as of the last time I saw it. This includes drawers, closets and cupboards as of the last time they were opened.

Yes, I know. It's freaky which is why I rarely will show this side of my psyche unless you ask for directions and then you see it in true form. Actually, I should use it as a parlor trick at parties - think it'll get me a date? And really, I think this is why I have such an aversion to photos and taking them - what's the point if I can remember everything with such clarity without them. And when I lose my marbles, a photo's not going to help me anyways - you'll all still be strangers!

That being said, you've all recently been exposed to it in one way, shape or form through my "how to be a stalker" rant on the use of profile pics in Facebook and on online dating sites and in my GIS/jizz mixups comedic blunder.

Where I've now discovered it has come in handy is in recruiting of new dodge ball players. I won't get too detailed on how I recently came across a potential player but suffice to say, it kinda freaked out a few friends that I could make the associations I did.

However, I've noticed that this ease with which I show my craziness has led others to get on the crazy stalking bandwagon with me - and you all know who you are!. And for that, I apologize for being such a bad influence on you.

Well, maybe not if it gets me more dodge ball players.... ;o)

Holy crap - time flies, Batman!

Well, according to Telehealth Ontario, my nose isn't broken. It's just nicely bruised. And if that wasn't enough let's add insult to injury - literally. The telehealth nurse chastised me for not icing it the night it happened and taking pain medication. Okay, 1) it didn't hurt that night - it hurt last night and the night before and 2) if I dull the pain before being able to describe the symptoms to you then I'm not adequately relaying those symptoms now am I? Hmmmm? Yeah that's right.

Anyways, you must also take note, as I did, that this is the first time in the history of Telehealth Ontario where I have NOT been instructed to seek medical help in my area. Amazing.

So this am, after a dull ache of a night, cat's yowling for some reason I can't figure out and a bizarre dry cough coming out of nowhere, I decided that I needed some extra sleep and stayed in bed fitfully until almost 11 am. I know...nice!!!!

When I got into work, I grabbed a sticky to put on my monitor that I took this am off and when I checked the date on my phone to add to the sticky I realized...today would have been my wedding anniversary! Holy crap time flies as I think back to what I was doing a year ago - which seems like AGES ago now. Also, I am a little surprised at how I completely forgot about my anniversary. And it's not like I've even once thought about it in the days leading up to it. Add this to the fact that I forgot a certain person's birthday a few months ago as well (until Telus called to remind me which is another story), man, I really do well with the old adage of "out of sight, out of mind".

Note to self: do not date long distance!

Stay away from my trees!

Being the science geek I am, it wasn't much for M to convince me to go to Science Cafe tonight. If you don't know what SC is, once every two weeks the Faculty of Science at CU puts on a mini lecture in easily digestible terminology for the community at the Wild Oat in the Glebe.

Tonight's lecture was on bugs and how they can hear and communicate with one another how we can use ESP to stop different bark beetles from killing our forests. Professor Yack, especially because of her enthusiasm, put on a fascinating lecture and I'll definitely be attending any lecture of hers in the future.

But the real reason I'm mentioning this, other than to be a shameless plug for all the great work that M has done to put these together, is I'm REALLY looking forward to the January 14th lecture entitled:

Cacti in Mexico, New Mexico and (wait for it).....

KALADAR!

HA HA HA! I have GOT to go if only for the SIL. And who knew there were cacti in Kaladar!

Classic.

My "group"

I love my married friends. Especially my married friends who have historically hung out with me and other married people in married couple settings. No matter how much I try and put them at ease over being around "the single person", it is still a challenge almost a year later. It makes me laugh and wanna say "it's not leprosy people!"

So the latest awkward but freakin' hilarious married vs. single moment came today. We're arranging our annual friends Xmas get together and gift exchange with the two couples and me. While discussing details with D we were talking about having an Xmas movie marathon. I really want to watch Elf because it cracks me up. D said "well, we're thinking we'd watch 3 movies so each 'group' can pick a movie".

While on any other given day this may have brought a moment of "oh, woe is me", after my blunders today I can only say...

BAH HA HA HA HA! My "group"?!?!?!?

I replied that this was the best ever single moment because I don't have to compromise on whatever movie my "group" wants to put forward. That and D's the eternal PC person with using the word "group" instead of "couple". And as he put it, he's "an executive in training."

It's a good thing I'm not easily mortified...

Okay, nothing like a dodge ball face injury status update gets you more comments and sympathy on Facebook - or so I've discovered.

People you forget you're friends with ask how your face is doing. I like to think it's all because you think I'm so beautiful that you worry you won't be able to look at me again and see my glorious smiling face.

Right.

In reality, more people are amused that I took a dodge ball to the face and wanna see the damage it did.

Howsoever, I think the ball knocked some common sense out of me. Yeah, yeah, peanut gallery, there wasn't much there to begin with, I know.

Anyways, JJ's poor husband J gets my "I'm a stupid girl and I don't know anything about cars - please educate me" emails and is the victim of my FB stalking because he routinely comes up in my feed for status updates, photos, whatever.

I commented on one such status yesterday where he was bemoaning the fact he would be missing his hockey games this week with the fact that he should play dodge ball and then he wouldn't be sad. His mom's comment to that was to ask what dodge ball was. He replied that it was a game he would not be playing. To which I commented something along the lines that I would convert him yet and who wouldn't wanna play with a mean girl like me who takes balls to the face and keeps playing for an hour and a half.

I can imagine the chuckles as you read that - all of you dirty pervs. Of course, this pure, innocent lassie didn't even THINK about how that could be interpreted.

Until J quoted back the best part of my comment to me and said he couldn't believe I would put that on the internet. And then the guy from his work who I'm actually trying to recruit to play dodge ball also commented "Don't worry. Nobody noticed. I mean, not many people noticed."

(insert hyper-sarcastic tone) AWESOME!

I go between red-faced mortification and laughing out loud at yet another stellar moment of brilliance and glory.

Ask not what Tyler Durden would do...

Ask what Jesus would do (on a post-it):

If you can't read it it says:
Would Jesus do it?
Yes No Maybe Hell No






Would I do it?
Yes No God Knows


And the full pack with WWJD in another post it plus the flags for your convenience.
















And the full set within the decorative gift pouch.

Don't forget to Note Unto Others!



















All your's for only $6.99 (USD) + shipping and handling by visiting www.stupid.com

*Inside voice* One way ticket to hell? CHECK! Disowned by family? CHECK!

It was bound to happen at some point

I have been playing dodge ball for 3 full months now and I have yet to take a real money shot somewhere that hurts or stings.

Until tonight.

The rules state that if you deflect an incoming ball with the ball you're holding and the incoming ball doesn't touch you on the deflection, it's all good - it becomes a dead ball. Did you follow that?

So, I was holding a ball already. Their hardest thrower took aim and it would've taken me smack dead in the chest but I deflected it....

INTO MY FACE!

Yup - 100%, smack dead in the face. It stings like a you know what and my nose and teeth feel a little sore, but I stayed on my feet and threw the ball I was holding - even though technically I should have been out.

But I'm a trooper! Even if it is only dodge ball...


UPDATE: It's the next day and my nose, left cheekbone and teeth are still kinda sore. Think bruises will show up outta no where tomorrow? Those would make for wicked stories.

Is this why people tailgate me?

ABC News: Colour of Love

Hmmm...maybe I should wear more red. Although, the other day when I got out of my red car with my red jacket and my red bag in my red shoes, I think I may have gone a little overboard.

Still, I have noticed red creeping into my wardrobe more and more lately...