Shock breeds fear

One of the things I'm noticing more and more in my new gov't 9-5er, besides the fact that I sleep much better (and no, not at my desk) and haven't taken anything to or from work other than a lunch bag and a purse for...well, since I started, is that gov't is behind the times when it comes to embracing technology and communications. For some reason, more and more, I'm being asked by my manager and starting to be seen by the limited number of people who will talk to me...le outsider...as something of a social media guru.

*insert record scratch*

Ha WAH?

I'll admit. I know some stuff. I have a good network of solid comms folks that we feed off each other and regularly throw (mostly online) learning resources each other's way. And I can see the linkages for opportunities between traditional and social media and how we need to stand up and pay attention because it ain't goin' away.

Today, in my (used to be and should return to) weekly visit to Casa de Elliott, we got into a discussion of brand loyalty, social media and the changing way in which our comms jobs are headed...or not, as the case may be.

J then pulled up this video for me. Watch it. It's worth the time. Then watch the one after it and I'll continue ranting after that ;o)





And interestingly, when I took the How Millenial Are You? test and scored highest amongst my former work place colleagues at a whopping 91% (BTW, I took the test twice, over two months apart each time and scored the same score each time if you're looking for quality control). It's an interesting test to take. What it means though, in terms that some of you may find shocking can be reflected in the way I absorb technology/use. Here's an Albertasauras did you know list:

-I haven't watched a television show at the time it aired in longer than I can remember. All 3 shows that I watch I watch online within a week of them airing because I can't be bothered to have to be home for a prescribed time nor sit through commercials. If my tenant ever moves out, I will cancel cable and go solely to online viewing.

-I haven't watched a news program on TV since I lived in my apartment...almost 3 years ago.

-I read 6+ media monitoring reports daily for work...and I what I do has nothing directly related to what's in those reports.

-I visit more than 3 news organizations websites daily for specific news. It's never consistent which sites I visit (CNN, CBC, Globe and Mail, NY Times, BBC, etc.) because I search for my news by what I want to learn about that day based on trends on Twitter, Facebook, National Geographic, and conversations at work/with my peers.

-From March 17-April 16, I sent 777 text messages and received 914. I received 17 pictures and browsed the web 28 times. It was an average month.

-My phone is never off, is never without charge and is rarely more than 5 feet from me for longer than 30 minutes at a time. I sleep with it and more easily wake up to it's vibrating than to my alarm clock - regardless of if it's on radio or annoying beep.

-I used to listen to the radio (bubble gum pop station that shall remain nameless) on my drive to and from work. I can't even get 2 km from my house before I'm annoyed by commercials and switch to my iPod. Forget listening to any kind of news talk radio where again, the agenda is prescribed as to what I will listen to. CBC is programmed into my car preset stations simply to be able to say it is. I couldn't tell you what the frequency actually is because I've never listened to it. (Yes, I open myself up to ridicule by all you comms peeps.)

-My required equipment to leave the house used to be 'wallet, phone, keys'. It's now 'wallet, phone, keys, ipod, headset to be able to talk and drive'.

-I don't remember the last time I read a newspaper on purpose, much less bought one. Newspapers have a finite amount of information. The Internet does not. I want to be able to read something online and do more research instantly using my trusty Google search bar. And I do...all....the...time.

-I have 7 email accounts: 4 Gmail, 1 Hotmail, 1 Rogers, and 1 work account. I have an outdated MySpace account, Facebook account, Twitter account (that I use more to follow than to tweet) and a blog.

-I am on my laptop every night in bed before I go to sleep.I close the lid, put it on the floor beside my bed and turn off my light. The first thing I do each morning is open it up and log in.

-I am seriously considering selling my soul for an iPhone or an android phone. My current phone, just over a year old, isn't smart enough to surf the web as websites become more and more sophisticated to be browsed on hand held devices. Telus doesn't even sell my phone anymore.

-I read 30+ blogs weekly and 4 daily.

What does this all mean? Not much. But here's the thing. I'm not on top of all the new media and technology out there. I've got a good handle on things, but I'm not by any means savvy enough,
IMHO, for my job. But more than anything, the shock of seeing all those stats above in those videos and seeing how it relates to my life has turned into something else for me this evening. Fear. Fear of not becoming outdated.

And with that, I close the lid, put my laptop on the floor, turn off the lite and make sure my phone's on vibrate.

Oc Transpo Debate

So Gback and I are working late tonight and out of nowhere, he throws out this random question:

'I wonder how OC Transpo sorts the change and bills it collects.'

Being the geek I am, I hypothesized as to how it is done. His response was along the lines of the fact that it was a rhetorical question and that if I didn't actually know, I shouldn't answer. So, being the stubborn bitch know-it-all bitch that I am, I thought I'd solve the mystery once and for all.

A few minutes later I read the following to him:

Dear OC Transpo,

My colleague and I were wondering something and hoped you could put an argument to rest. We'd like to know how OC Transpo sorts the change and the tickets/bills when it's all removed from the bus. Is there a machine that lets the coins fall through leaving the bills on top? If so, then who sorts the bills from the tickets or other paper? Or do you employ someone who just dumps it all out on a conference room table and sorts it all into piles - hopefully wearing gloves. Or perhaps the sorting occurs right on the bus?

Any assistance you could provide in resolving this debate would be appreciated.

Thank you.

I'll let you know if they respond...

I don't care how shallow or vain this makes me

Regardless of my last narcissistic post with all my photos - thanks for the fun-loving chastisement of my egocentric post over lunch today, big brother - I tend to not think I'm an overly vain or shallow person. Sure, I like to look nice before I leave the house but I'd never go to the extent of any kind of modification and even balk at the idea of hair dye as 1) I think I have nice enough of a natural colour and 2) I just don't want the hassle of maintenance and 3) I just don't feel I need the enhancement.

So my sudden panic and anxiety a few days ago about aging hit me rather hard.

I was waiting to turn left into work and noticed another red hatchback pull up behind me. The female driver, probably in her 40's, put on a pair of sunglasses as she waited and applied some lip gloss. The whole time, I watched her in my rearview mirror as I was trying to see if I knew her - hey, it's a small enough work place! Anyways, as I watched her preen, I couldn't help but notice that well, she wasn't a really overly attractive woman. She looked as though she was wearing minimal makeup and that her short, 'I've got 2 kids and don't have time or patience to put effort into my hairstyle' hair looked very wash and wear, and she generally just didn't have a spirited glow.

Unfortunately, she looks like many other women out there in that age bracket. The shallow side in me couldn't help but think 'do you think she ever imagined she'd look like that?' That her skin wouldn't have its youthful elasticity. That her hair style would be what was convenient, not what was overly attractive nor complimentary to her features. That she would wake up every morning and seem to not give two hoots about her appearance.

Now, I'm making a lot of sweeping generalizations about this woman who I don't know from a hole in the ground. But don't tell me that you all don't see them, especially in this conservative, government town, walking around, frumpy and aged beyond their years.

For the first time in my life, I realized that I won't always look like this. And it scared me. Shallow, vain, I don't care what you call it. I don't want to age.

I could never own a vineyard

Owning a vineyard takes patience. Something I'm quickly realizing I am in short supply of these days. Life's just too busy it seems. And we live in an instant gratification society. Can't sleep at night because you're worried about your finances? Call your bank at 1:00 a.m. because a loan rep is there to get you back to counting sheep soon.

All this has meant that I may have some pretty unrealistic or impatient ideas when it comes ot dating and all that jazz. And maybe it's also a tad on the 'no patience or time for games and the bs cat and mouse chase' that makes up soooo much of dating. Like the whole rules on when you can call someone back. Or when to play your cards of interest to someone.

Or when to reply back to a date request.

Back in the spring, a new young chap started coming to badminton. He was cute in that geeky kinda way and seemed nice and shy compared to his two friends that he came with. The 3 amigos stuck to themselves quite a bit and one of them (his friend) doesn't play well with others. In fact, I dislike him and his behaviour on the court so much that I refer to him as 'the asshole'. I refuse to play with or against him and something about him just makes me bristle even when I see him 2-3 courts over. He grates on my nerves *that* much.

But I digress. Anyways, cutie badminton guy had me shy as a 15 year-old school girl who's never kissed a boy. In fact, I didn't even talk to him before badminton went on hiatus for the summer months - I just admired and observed from afar.

Fast forward to this fall and I'd be lying if I said that my hopes weren't up that he'd be back to playing. But he wasn't. And neither were his friends. And I was disappointed. Then lo and behold, the asshole showed up in October. And then the other amigo showed up a little later in the month. But still no cutie.

And then out of the blue in November, he showed. Just once without his friends. And we spoke! I know, you're impressed and baffled that I, miss never-shut-the-hell-up hadn't said boo before. He was speaking to our organizer and stating that he had a class all semester on Thursdays so he hadn't come to badminton and then they started to talk about work and everyone being off sick and I jumped in the conversation as I was sitting just off to the sidelines. And that was it.

Then, in December, I had a vet appointment on one of the last nights of badminton. AFter, they were hosting the annual Xmas drinks celebration. Yes, us badminton kids get together and have a Xmas party. He was supposed to come so you can bet I was gonna race that cat home, change out of the cat furred clothes and race back downtown. When I arrived, he wasn't there. By pure fluke, I ended up sitting at a table with his friends and a few other badminton folk.

And then he walked in the door. (Can you see the 15 year old shy girl coming out in me the way I smittenly talk about him?) His friend waved him over and began moving the bags beside me for him to sit down. I went into full on panic that he was going to sit beside me.

He did, and due to the table set up, he ended up spending more time talking to Shellbell, Dennis and I than his friends. And we finally exchanged names.

Then, when we moved on to the next bar (yes, we bar hopped with the discounted food at different locals because our organizer is a cheap ass) Dennis, bless his little heart, arranged the seating so he was once again sitting beside me. His friends, however, were now more strategically placed to chat with him so I changed my focus elsewhere.

A while later, Dennis and I were discussing my upcoming trip to NYC when out of the blue I hear from beside me 'you're going to New York?' Why yes, cutie, I am. That led to a discussion for about an hour of places to go, things to do, places we'd travelled to, things we want to do in life, blah blah blah. At the end of the evening, as we all parted ways, he called out from across the room to 'have a good trip' and I would have to tell him all about it at badminton in January.

Then I went to NYC and I was shocked at the forward approach that the men seem to have in NYC to approaching women. And also realized, life's to short for this 15 year old gal crap. So on the advice of some random acquaintances at a party this past weekend, I sent him an email stating that I'd enjoyed talking to him before Xmas and wanted to know if he wanted to get together for a coffee some time. That was on Sunday.

*insert chirping crickets*

And.....nothing. No acknowledgment, no nuthin'! I, being a bit glass half empty when it comes to thinking someone will show interest in me, figure, meh, not interested...moving on. After all, it's been over 72 hours. If it was a yes, I would have heard back by now. If it's a no, he's either waiting me out to ignore me or finding a polite way to say no. Either way, moving on. At least now I know, right?

On to the next....

Humiliation is a factor

Author's note: This is a more sober, kick-ya-in-the-teeth post so be prepared.

So, I've had a pretty crappy day. I'm irritable and I for once have finally said 'NO' at work to things that people tried to pawn off on me. I actually retaliated to 'that's not in my job description' with 'and it's in mine?!?!?' today so you can tell how close I am to going over the edge.

To lighten up, I went for a walk and got some lunch. I had a pita from the local student run joint (all the while admiring the bad boy looks of their manager) but if you've ever had one, you know you basically have to sit and eat with two hands because they are so big. So I couldn't work. Instead, I caught up on my reading.

I read a blog called Men Aren't That Deep. There are a lot of blogs I read on dating and relationships as I fumble my way through being a singleton. The author doesn't post often so when I saw I'd missed two entries, I happily ate and read away.

The second of the two was basically about cheating and what it does to a relationship. While I know I usually put in blog posts about dating and all the trials and tribulations that brings, I do have moments where I remember what brought me to this point in time.

As my good friends who have access to this blog, I'd encourage you to take a minute to read his post. For the first time, I feel like someone 'gets' where I'm coming from with the decisions I took to end my marriage - especially when it comes to the reputational impact and humiliation I felt having to go through it all. While no one close to me (I think) dared to say otherwise on my decision because of my self-confidence in it as being the right one for me, I did have one colleague who openly questioned my decision. You can damn well bet I'm going to be sending her the link to this post. But it left me wondering from time to time how many other people in my life were thinking the same thing.

Regardless, I have to say that he gets two thumbs up from me on this post. Read it. And for all of you, I truly hope it never 'speaks' to you the way it does to me - that's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Just think about it

Okay, I'm in the middle of a 'holy shit' existential moment, Bat Man and thought the best way for me to process this moment would be to blog it out.

Just blog it out. Let it go...write it down.

Okay.

So, I just finished watching The Day the Earth Stood Still and man, that is some BAD cinema. No, I can't even call it cinema. That's a bad waste of moolah on behalf of Twentieth Century Fox, that's for DAMN sure. Maybe it's that Keanu Reeves hasn't been good in anything since...well, ever or the fact that that main chick, whose name I can't remember and should only be good for getting red eyes because she's not good enough as an actress to actually faux cry and is better left to no lines and just having a slightly open-mouthed awed expression all the time or the fact that Jaden Smith is really only cute in movies with his father and then, let's be honest, we really only focus on him as being cute because his fine father made him. Maybe.

Or maybe it's a movie that kinda shook me to the core re. our dependence on technology and what we're doing to this planet. But it didn't hit me until minutes later when I was looking through some bookmarks and realizing I could just delete the pages I had used in planning NYC because I could 'always Google them again'. Google them again. And then I wondered 'how the hell DID everyone plan trips before the Internet'?

And then I went into an existential tailspin.

But it's okay. I snapped out of it. As soon as I started writing this post which included Will Smith.

Mmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Will Smith.

Anyways, moving on to surf the net ;o)

2009 was the year

...for procrastination it seems.

I wrote a blog post about all the things I wanted to do in 2009. 26 of them to be exact. And I accomplished....

1) Learn how to change a light fixture, wall socket and light switch
2) learn to BBQ (this will start with learning to turn the BBQ on and hooking up the propane)
3) learn to kayak (I always said this was my sport of my 30's and well, I'm 20-10 now so no excuses!)
4) learn how to paint (like a room)
25) try 12 new wines

Okay, so #1 I actually just watched someone change the fixture but I will be doing TWO fixtures in my garage this weekend and I can change a wall socket and light switch like nobody's business so I get props for that, right? And I can't do #2 well, and I substituted rowing for kayaking in #3 and I'm sure I drank from at least 12 bottles of wine for #25 but I'm a creature of habit and end up repeating wines, especially after I discovered Voga (and there's your token 'product placement' in the blog).

But it's #18 I'm thinking of crossing off the list: try speed dating. In my original post, I had said that 'this one is PURE entertainment value and sure to be an entertaining blog entry'. So what do you think, should I do it? Flirty 30's speed dating on...get this...VALENTINE'S DAY??!?!?

I mean really, what else have I got to do on a Sunday afternoon than sit in Meditheo with 19 strangers and hope one of the 10 men there is My Funny Valentine, right? Or would it be less depressing and DESPERATE to just sit at home and stuff my face with chocolate?

Decisions....decisions....

WHMPC - I to We to Me

So I'm done with the online dating thing because it's too time consuming. Right. Back to 'organic dating' as I'm calling it.

This is where I get introduced by friends to their single friends (*ahem* - I'm WAIT-ING! ;o) ) and I go back to actually introducing myself to men that I find attractive and follow up with the phone number giving blah-de, blah-de, blah-blah.

Tonight, when I had to stay at work for an event I COMPLETELY forgot about (love the unexpected 12 hr + days), I had the unexpected surprise of seeing a cute man who smelt nice. Now, we all know that smell is a big thing to me which is why the scent police was such a ego-damaging moment for me. It took said gentleman about an hour to work his way over to introducing himself to me (he had borrowed a pen earlier in the evening from me which is how I caught a whiff) and we ended up chatting for a good 10 minutes. We talked about work, education, goals in life in our careers...interesting stuff. And there were definitely moments of flirtation going on.

And then he did it.

He 'WE''d me.

As in he said 'I'm staying at a hotel because the house that WE're having built isn't ready yet.'

Don't get me wrong, I checked for a ring. I would never have flirted the way that I did if there had been one. But seriously? Why? What was the point of flirting with me like that? Hunh? To prove he still has it? For fun? Seriously? Why not just walk away after he borrowed my pen? Did he need to 'we' on me so that he didn't feel guilty about flirting - ie. 'I was upfront that I was in a relationship'.

Regardless, it got me thinking to how I've changed over the past few years. Before I met le ex, I was an 'I'. Then I too became a 'we' when we were together (which is just funny to type because there's no other way to put it). And now I'm a 'ME' (or 'I' if it's more grammatically correct).

But more than that...it's making me think about what happened to the 'I' and the 'me' when I was in the 'we'. While a relationship's about give and take, perhaps there was more giving in my 'we' than 'I' or 'me' realized was going on. 'I' am going to be congnizant of this fact the next time there's a 'we' so that 'I' doesn't loose sight of the fact that 'we' is really made up of two 'me''s.

Food for thought

Found this quote today while cleaning out my home office. Thought I'd preserve it in the online abyss because it's a goodie.

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.

-Lillian Dickson

The passing of time

I'm not sure what it is about the turning of the seasons in fall that really make me remark on the passing of time. Perhaps it's the beginning of the school year that my current job reminds me with a stiff smack in the face each year during frosh week 'Welcome Week' (because apparently parents freak out over their precious little ones being initiated into university life with drinking and drugs and sex and all that is wrong in the world - ugh hello, walk into any suburban highschool and you'll see 10 times worse, you just have to look!). Maybe it's the quickly approaching birthday of mine (35 days peeps - and might I also take this moment to tell you it's only 109 until Xmas). Perhaps it's the change in the season that is much more marked than spring to summer.

I dunno.

And maybe it's that I had coffee with Mexican Princess today after helping her adjust her chandelier where we reflected on the changes she and I have both seen in our lives and I know I've had probably the best two years of my life. But it really hit me today on the ball field as I played my last softball game of the season. Almost 60 games later and somehow, 4 months have passed. And while I'm excited to be moving on to something new and focus a lot of time and effort on it (rowing), where did time go? What did I do with it? What do I have to show for it? And will I make the most of the next 4 months before Xmas that always seem to pass in a flurry of activity between work and play?

I know...it's a little...deep...for hanging up my cleats and glove for the season but it just struck a chord with me today. And so I thought I'd share it with you and fill up the cosmic void with my moment of...

Hmmm...

Finally, my life makes sense

I will catch you up on my life in a very near future blog post. Until then, enjoy this:

see more Funny Graphs

WHMPC - Post-it Note Cliche Guy

A few weekends ago, I did the Sunday morning date thing again. And while C from my office likes to say, in a coy voice 'you sure that's a new date and not just a left over from Saturday night?!?' with a wink of her eye, no, C, it was a first date.

PiNC Guy and I decided to meet at Starbucks on Rideau and then head out to breakfast. For past reference, he's the guy who had plans on Saturday so we made them for Sunday but wanted to switch if his plans fell through. And let me say now that it was you, dear readers, who told me to go for it. Perhaps the LAST time I let you meddle in my lack there of love life.

Anyways, we went for breakfast and then decided to go for a walk. Conversation flowed easily but we stayed away from the dating interview questions and just let it flow as it should. For you married or otherwise attached or otherwise forgotten what it's like to date, those are the 'so where do you work/what do you do/when was your last relationship/do you want to have kids/do you have a good relationship with your family/what are you looking for in a relationship/do you still talk to your ex' kinda questions. You know, the 'let's cut the bullshit, are you marrying material or not? I got eggs that are expiring, let's get this going' kinda questions. You know, the questions every guy - and me it seems - hates.

So, a few hours later, we were still walking around the Market and talking. At one point he made some reference to the fact that I lived on the Quebec side of the river.

*insert record scratch*

WAH? How do you figure? Apparently, he got my 889 exchange mixed up with the 819 area code. He discovered this when he pulled a post it note out of his pocket with my number written on it... AND A LIST OF SAFE SUBJECTS TO TALK ABOUT WHILE ON OUR DATE TOO! He embarrassingly put the PiN away but not before I teased him mercilessly about it. Such a romantic comedy movie move! HA! And cliche #1.

So, one thing led to another and we had dinner together and then hung out all evening and it turned into a 14 hour date.

And then I didn't hear from him for 3 days - you know, following the '3 day rule'. Why? Why do men do that? Is it a fear of letting us think that we 'got to them'? Life is short - forget the games.

So he asked to see me on Thursday but I had rowing and Eau d'Ottawa River was apparently not appealing to him. And that was it. No attempt to reschedule, no follow up emails. So I sent him an email on the Friday saying 'what, was that my only chance for a second date?' (in a joking manner, not a stalker manner). I got a response on Monday saying that he 'supposed' we could get together again. Not at all impressed with this, I said 'you suppose so?!? Don't show too much enthusiasm now' and I offered him a way out with stating that if he's had some time to digest and think he's not really interested, that's cool too. (*Inside voice: maybe I'm just too laissez-faire when it comes to dating?*)

And then the response I didn't see coming.

He then confessed to the fact that the girl he had in fact had the date with on the Saturday (okay, I should have listened to my sloppy seconds gut) he wanted to focus on dating her and so if things didn't work out then maybe in a couple of weeks we could get together.

So the new take on the old cliche of 'it's not you, it's me' is now 'it's not you, it's not me, it's her'.

But let's not forget the mantra people....

ON TO THE NEXT!

WHMPC - Museum Mike aka Badminton Boy

Back in March I signed up for the online dating thing. The reason I did is I saw a cutie on the site that I thought I'd want to get to know more and he was the 'push me over the edge' factor after hearing about Big Oil's awesome date and the fact that M was also on.

Museum Mike (or Badminton Boy as he will also come to be known) and I exchanged a few emails and then met at the War Museum one quiet Saturday afternoon. The afternoon was pleasant enough - we went through the exhibits, enjoyed pleasant conversation, we generally comfortable around each other both on an intellectual perspective and on a physical one. But he seemed rather shy. As my second real 'date' after being single, I didn't really know what to expect but couldn't gauge if he was interested or not. We had somewhat agreed that if he was interested, he'd join me for badminton the following week - a bit of an effort considering he had to book time off of work to do so.

Thursday's badminton date came and I met him at the school we play at. A bit of a step, seeing as how he's meeting the crew I've played with for 6 months at that point but he seemed okay. We stood outside talking for a bit and then went inside. During those conversations, they seemed a little strained and I again sensed some nervousness.

We played doubles. And we sucked at it. While I want to blame it on the fact that he hasn't played for a few years, part of my inner subconscious screamed about the fact that if we can't get it together on the court, we're not going to be able to get it together off - if you catch my drift. And yes, I have been watching too much Sex and the City lately.

Our between game chatters were also a little...strained. And then when we were all going out for drinks after and he decided to go home instead (yes, dear sweaty friends, maybe he just wanted a shower, blah blah blah excuse). And that's when it hit me.

I'm a bit of a chatterbox. I KNOW - such a REVEL-ATION! And I know you're all laughing about this at your desks or wherever else you're procrastinating from life and reading my blog. But really, if after how many hours together, MM/BB can't get it together enough to have the conversation easily flow with me, chatterbox extraordinare, well it just may not ever.

And on to the next...

I did hear from him a few times after that but I think we both knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. He has since cancelled his online account. I hope it means that he's found love because, of all the WHMPC dates, he was one of the good guys even if he wasn't the good guy for me.

Well that's depressing

When I moved offices a few months back I kinda did a 'throw it in a box and figure it out later' move. Yesterday, I came across my blue cue card that has my emerg contact info on it and realized it still listed le ex.

So I went up to get a new one and put new info on it. My bro and all his details went on and then I thought I should have an in-city contact just in case.

And my mind went blank.

Sure, there's JJ, M, S or D&I, but really, it's not the fact that they are friends but it was the realization that I'm alone in this city.

Alone.

No mate.

No family.

Alone.

With two cats. Who will eat my face off when I die because I've choked on a jawbreaker in my house and no one has come to look for my dead body for a few days.

Alone.

Okay, maybe it's the fact that the roommate is leaving for the summer and while excited to have the house to myself again, I'm still kinda realizing I'm alone again and am now paranoid. Or maybe it's because I have procrastinated long enough on house things (painting, repairs, etc.) and am now freaking out re. having to do it all this summer alone. Or maybe it's Wednesday and rainy out and I'm just cranky.

Whatever the case, it's a lonely day in my office.

Hmmm...good question

Again with the 'this post may offend you breeders, read with caution' clause at the front of the following diatribe...

So, a 'friend' from high school posted this status update today:

X wonders if a baby could choose would they want their entire life documented on facebook?

Interesting, non? I know that for some people that they use FB to upload pics, etc. because of their desire to share with the people in their life and well, that's kinda the narcissistic point of social media, isn't it? And if the tools be there, screw traditional paper baby books, go electronic, non?

But this makes me ponder, where does the right of the child come into play in all of this? Sure, we all had embarrassing moments where mom and dad would pull out the picture albums or the videos shot of us at school talent shows but there was still a much more private public viewing of these portions of our lives. How would the next generation feel about this if they knew now what they will know in the future? Or do we just not care because they will be a generation brought up on this so this will be thought to be the norm? Or am I just ranting because I have more baby/toddler friends on Facebook than adults?

I must say, I don't really have a feeling one way or another. While I'm a fairly open person who will share just about anything, I do have a certain level of privacy that I like to maintain while online. Bizarre as I feel this false sense of security in these pseudo barriers I've built up but still, I like to think I have some privacy. And I'd like to think my offspring would like the same.

At the same time, with the non-stop status updates of one friend's every waking (and sleeping) moment of her child since its birth this past fall, or the non-stop feeds of new videos and photos and the likes from new or soon-to-be parents, I have to wonder if this need to share is augmented by perhaps the feeling of being a bad parent if you don't share on such a grandiose scale. And is this leading to more of the dreaded helicopter parents that I have to deal with more and more at work? We all curse them but then I see colleagues fall into the same traps they bitch and moan about to add to the pandemic that seems to be infecting every well-intentioned parent these days.

So that's my kinda but not really soap-box rant of the day. While I may not pay attention to every posting of every child's first spit-up, first 'cruise' or even first nap without swaddling, I can appreciate that you all want to share and perhaps enjoy reading and commiserating sharing with one another. Just don't be offended if it falls off my radar most of the time.

Rawr - postscript

I know that that's how it's done and all and that the info that I put into Facebook is all public and used for evil (advertising demographics) not good (uselessly letting it sit on a server) but sometimes I get a little creeped out by the accuracy of things.

I navigated to someone's page to see the wall->wall discussion of two mutual friends. Once there, I noted the right hand ads that came up. I was shocked to see what I saw considering the Rawr post I had yesterday here:




Seriously? The exact T I commented on yesterday? It's not like I put it in a link or even have a link to my blog on my Facebook account. Seriously?

And the irony of having a CU ad below it? Granted, the person I was creepin' is a fellow employee of the capital E Employer, but still...

It's the cyberspace trolls that creep me out once more...

Things that make my soul sing and things that break my heart

Don't worry - this isn't one of those grandiose love laments where I complain about being single or dating or what not. I've come to discover in life that there are simple things that happen in day to day life that can, as I put it, make my soul sing and there are also things that can just break my heart.

So here are a random soul singing and heart breaking moments from the last 24 hours that I thought I'd share.

Heart breaking: I have, for some strange reason, a real affinity for worms. Yup, worms. They're pretty ugly and to hold one makes me giddy like a little kid as it inches its way along your hand. Who knows, maybe it's from years of watching Sesame Street and seeing just how cute Slimey was. Anyways, this time of year kills me to be at work because with all the spring showers, out come the flowers - and the worms. and then they get simply trampled all over by all the students rushing to last classes or exams. It breaks my heart to see them there so much so that I used to yell after the ex on his way out of the house on rainy days to "watch out for the worms". And if you're ever walking with me on a rainy day, you'll notice I'll step around them. So I implore you, save the worms, let 'em get to wherever it is they need to go on those rainy days.

Soul singing: Today it's actually a song that's making my soul sing. Well, and how hot Jack Johnson is - yum. I absolutely LOVE the song "Banana Pancakes" off his album In Between Dreams. I especially love the lyrics at 1:40-2:00 ish. I've put in a video below that I think someone made with the lyrics included. This song makes my soul sing. Life is good.

One of the guys

A while back I was lamenting to a fellow singleton about my apparent luck at being categorized into the "friend zone". It's something that I've been plagued with since the beginning of my dating history back in middle school. And let's face it. I'm not dainty. I have a potty mouth. I can appreciate slapstick rude humour over farts, burping and other vulgarities. I am not much of a girlie girl and as I've been called on on several occasions, I'm pretty aggressive.

So Tuesday night, I was taking a fellow dodgeball player to our game and we got on the topic of dating and age. He's the one that thought I was 24 some days back and didn't understand my outrage at being carded. Anyways, he was telling me how awesome I was, how when he first met me that he thought I was just this "chill chick who was into doing her own thing. You know, one of the guys. Someone who'd always be there for you, you know".

Hmm. While it stung to hear those "one of the guys" words yet again, I couldn't help but be flattered at the same time. Really, what he was telling me was that I am independent, not needy, someone who builds good friendships and is there for people. Sure, not exactly lustful qualities but perhaps ones that long term, can be attractive to someone of the opposite sex.

Brings me to another conversation that I had a while back with yet another singleton - as I think of all of them out there that I seem to be coming into contact with, why are none of them ones that I'd want to date??? Anyways, he was telling me that he's never been "friends" with anyone that he's dated. Not having the poker face I wish I did, my horror at this statement showed visibly. On the contrary, my view of dating is that a relationship is, at it's basic level, just a really great friendship with sex. Am I wrong? Is this what the demise of all of my other relationships have lead to? The fact that my mates basically are my best friends with benefits? Is this why I end up being just better friends than mates with people?

Or maybe it's that I think too much like a guy and that intimidates them away from me in that I'm good to be friends with but too much to handle as a mate? I had a guy friend tell me that he thinks I'm going to have a hard time finding someone to live up to me when I decide to get serious with someone again. Gee, thanks. Pour some fresh lemon juice on that wound, why don't 'cha?!? But it was a sentiment echoed to me from another female friend shortly after I reentered the dating scene. Hmmmm...it's definitely left me with some thinking.

How old is too old?

So, last night the lovely V gushed to me "oh, I so have to set you up with undisclosed name*. You two would be perfect together. " She then proceeded to gush for a good 10 minutes and would only move on to other topics if I promised to entertain the idea of a set up.

However, along the way, there were some fundamental tidbits of info that were shared that lead me to think that we wouldn't be all that great of a match. I think, *think* because I don't know him, that we may be at different places in our lives (as in he's older much more settled than I am). I know I shouldn't judge a book by a cover and for some people, age is just a number. Hell, some people can look much younger than their age - as is my case where I was recently carded to buy booze even though I'm 19-11. And then carded again to go in a pub. And then told I looked 24. I seem to not get a day over 26 these days which while I know I should relish, is a little disconcerting as it makes me wonder if that will affect who views me as "eligible" or not based on my age. I've already had once acquaintance tell me he "wasn't mackin' on" me because he thought I was "underage" (read younger than him and more like 24-25 to be exact).

Anyways, and this is going to make me the female equivalent of a total cad, but I'm curious to go out with him just to go out with him. As in just go for the date for the sake of a date. Not that I foresee a long term thing developing but just for fun. Does that make me a bad person? Am I wasting his time and mine? Should I just not date unless I'm 'serious'?

And more importantly, how old is too old for me to date? Give me your honest answer and I may just tell you how old he is. I *may* tell you.

*undisclosed name=then you can't Facebook creep him like I did (hey, his own fault for having an open profile) and to protect his identity in case I do decide to date him because then he'll need a cool nickname (ie. to the tune of the banker, the blind date, CBC), not just undisclosed identity.

There's something about precipitation

Precipitation, in all its formats - rain, snow, sleet, hail, even leaf falling - puts me in a romantic mood.

(insert record scratch)

Yes, you did just read that. They make me feel romantic. I want to cuddle with someone and watch whatever precipitation it is fall to the ground and accumulate. I want to watch people scuttle to and fro in vain attempts to protect perfectly quaffed hair and outfits and be thankful I'm inside with a loved one.

So today, without someone to be my bad influence or inflict a negative influence upon (the cat doesn't count even if she was sleeping with her head in the pillow facing mine), I dragged my sorry butt out of bed and to the office. But not before grabbing one of my favourite romantic CDs (Nat King Cole's 20 Golden Greats) to rip to my computer and listen to all day. It's going to be a long afternoon of looking for motivation to address the 400+ emails in my inbox.

*inside voice* Groan....

And because you all aren't big on engaging/commenting I throw out this question - what mundane thing makes you feel romantic?