One of the guys

A while back I was lamenting to a fellow singleton about my apparent luck at being categorized into the "friend zone". It's something that I've been plagued with since the beginning of my dating history back in middle school. And let's face it. I'm not dainty. I have a potty mouth. I can appreciate slapstick rude humour over farts, burping and other vulgarities. I am not much of a girlie girl and as I've been called on on several occasions, I'm pretty aggressive.

So Tuesday night, I was taking a fellow dodgeball player to our game and we got on the topic of dating and age. He's the one that thought I was 24 some days back and didn't understand my outrage at being carded. Anyways, he was telling me how awesome I was, how when he first met me that he thought I was just this "chill chick who was into doing her own thing. You know, one of the guys. Someone who'd always be there for you, you know".

Hmm. While it stung to hear those "one of the guys" words yet again, I couldn't help but be flattered at the same time. Really, what he was telling me was that I am independent, not needy, someone who builds good friendships and is there for people. Sure, not exactly lustful qualities but perhaps ones that long term, can be attractive to someone of the opposite sex.

Brings me to another conversation that I had a while back with yet another singleton - as I think of all of them out there that I seem to be coming into contact with, why are none of them ones that I'd want to date??? Anyways, he was telling me that he's never been "friends" with anyone that he's dated. Not having the poker face I wish I did, my horror at this statement showed visibly. On the contrary, my view of dating is that a relationship is, at it's basic level, just a really great friendship with sex. Am I wrong? Is this what the demise of all of my other relationships have lead to? The fact that my mates basically are my best friends with benefits? Is this why I end up being just better friends than mates with people?

Or maybe it's that I think too much like a guy and that intimidates them away from me in that I'm good to be friends with but too much to handle as a mate? I had a guy friend tell me that he thinks I'm going to have a hard time finding someone to live up to me when I decide to get serious with someone again. Gee, thanks. Pour some fresh lemon juice on that wound, why don't 'cha?!? But it was a sentiment echoed to me from another female friend shortly after I reentered the dating scene. Hmmmm...it's definitely left me with some thinking.