How to be cheeky and get your point across

So, I promised myself I wouldn't blog about this until AFTER my birthday and seeing as how it's now 12:06, it's fair game.

I found out this weekend, courtesy of the smallest grapevine in the world (aka Ottawa), that le ex is engaged.

My first reaction was....

nothing.

Yes, nothing. I didn't feel anything. No sadness, no remorse, no jealousy. Nothing. This, to me, is truly a sign that I'm over him. However, this chased an exceptionally bad date on Saturday night (more WHMPC to follow) so there was a little 'oh, 'eff me. I can't even get a good date and he's already getting remarried?' but then I realized that it's a good thing I'm out dating and not settling. Not saying that he is or anything but you know, I'm sure my time will come.

Then about two hours later, it hit me.

What name is this new wife going to have? Her own? Zrudlo (which as far as I know he's still not using)? Or....ALBERTA?!?!?!?!?

While so many things were not great about the divorce, the only thing that ever really fired me up was the fact that he refused to change his name back because apparently 'he's worked hard to build his *ahem* professional retail store manager reputation on it'. I hope, truly hope, someone is the voice of reason and perhaps tries to talk him out of the merits of keeping my name given this new development.

But if not, I think the following evilly crafted and so wish I was less of a lady to actually have the cojones to send it email would to him may get the point across:

Subject: Congratulations

Dear le ex (I'd actually use his name but still like to maintain some anonymity on this blog),

I know it's been quite some time since we last spoke and I hope all is well with you. I just wanted to send you a quick congratulatory note on your upcoming nuptials. While I have yet to meet the lucky lady, I can't wait to have her join the Alberta family and am sure she will carry our name proudly. In fact, I don't think we even have anyone of her name within the family so she may be the first of that name as well - unfortunately not something you too can attest to as the first SA was actually born into our family, not married into it.

Anyways, congratulations and again, I look forward to welcoming her to the family!

L

Yeah, I know...I shouldn't. And I won't. But it would feel soooo good.