A few weeks back I got the gumption up to message a guy whose profile I'd been eyeing for a few months. He wasn't unattractive, liked baseball and seemed pretty down to earth with a good sense of humour. And he wasn't a gym rat - those guys drive me nuts.
So I did and he replied and we messaged back and forth for a while and then our relationship moved to 'the next level'.
We started chatting on MSN.
We chatted on Wednesday night for a few hours and then the following night for a few more. Towards the end of our Thursday night chat, Big Oil got on MSN so I had two chats going - one with LF and then the play by play going with Big Oil. Towards the end of the convo I typed to
I need to learn to listen to my gut.
And then to my surprise, he suggested we go out for drinks the next night. Of course I said yes and then realized I had nothing to wear. I know - such a 'chick' dilemma. So Friday after work I raced to get a new shirt and found a pair of semi-clean jeans (they passed the 'sniff test') and off I went to meet him at Pub Italia.
He was recognizable enough outside PI when I got there and on our way in, I was all of a sudden grabbed by the face, given a huge kiss on the cheek and a big hug. Knowing it wasn't him, I was completely gobsmacked - only to see it was R, friend and husband of good friend MH. He started chatting me up for a few seconds before he realized I wasn't there alone. LF didn't look overly impressed but not overly unimpressed either. Awesome - looks like I've invited the friends to check him out. Great. Inside was yet another reunion with MH who was waiting for the table and we decided to go to another restaurant with a lesser wait time.
We ended up at some fairly fancy italian place across from the Heart and Crown. He held the door open for me. Note: one of the few gentlemanly things he did that night. Yeah, that's not saying much if that's all he did... ANYWAYS, we were seated at the edge of the dining room and he took the chair facing the dining room so I had a view of the lobby and him. Not necessarily a bad thing as I can be easily distracted by people watching.
So he ordered a beer and I a glass of wine and then we started to look at the menu. It was a substantial menu and I had never been there before so I was browsing through. I then heard 'snap' to look up and see he'd closed his menu and placed it in front of him. Surprised, I said 'decided?' 'yup...so, like I was saying....' and he continued on with the conversation we had been having prior to looking at the menus.
Um, wouldn't edicate say you should shut your pie hole and let me decided and THEN continue talking?!? Guess not. Strike #1.
After quickly deciding, I got back into the conversation. I asked questions, picked up on things, made connections, blah blah blah. I can be very engaging ifI want to be. Too bad he wasn't. While he enjoyed our conversations, I think, I then started to notice, within the first 15 minutes, that while I was asking questions he could reciprocate on for me in turn, he wasn't. Humpf. About 10 more minutes go by and he's still not asking me anything. It's at this point that I realize he's just like a leaky faucet (did I mention he's a faucet and doorknob salesman! LOL!), keeps running at the mouth and doesn't care about the damage he causes around him! So I decided to just let this go and see how long he'll go without any reciprocating information. Strike #2.
And then the comments started coming out - the homophobic, the racist, the sexist, the arrogant - you name it, he's got one. How my a$$hole radar didn't go off before then? I don't know. To give you an example, there was another patron at the restaurant that broke into song. You know how that happens at some restaurants in movies, right? Or like in Sex and the City when Big takes Carrie to that restaurant and proceeds to sing to her? So anyways, he pretty much had to stop talking (remember I was just listening so at least it was something to drown him out for a few minutes - thank you, drunk man, for that reprive). When the drunken mess finished his 'aria', LF says, in an audible enough voice that should there been people at tables around us they would have heard, ''effing WOP'. 'Effing WOP?!?! In an ITALIAN restaurant on PRESTON where I'm sure half the patrons were mafia (if that actually exists in Ottawa). I wanted to crawl under the table and die. After that, he pretty much, for the last 20 minutes of the 'date', watched the rest of the room and only grunted out monosyllabic answers to my questions. I had one final effort to get him to talk where I asked him what his brother's girlfriend (they'd been dating 6.5-7 years) taught before she was a princip
L: So, what did your brother's girlfriend teach before she was a principle/al?
(insert WTF? face) LF: Pffft, I don't know. I'm not dating her.
L: Yeah, but she's been your brother's girlfriend for like 7 years. It's never come up in conversation?
LF: (insert incredulous tone) LIKE I SAID, I'm not dating her. Fuck, I don't even know what the teachers I'VE dated taught.
L: How many teachers have you dated?
LF: 2 or 3
It's at this point I realize that it doesn't matter what I say, he's never going to listen to me. Awesome.
We get the bill, he insists on paying (yeah that's right, the least you could do is pay for my meal seeing as how the company was such crap) and we leave. As we walk back to Pub Italia, he says 'so where did you park?' I motion down the street and say 'oh, on a street or two past Pub Italia' to which he responds 'well, I'm down here' and stops walking. Goes to give me a hand shake and then pulls me in for the weird man hug thing and says 'I'll call you' and we both know, and probably pray, he won't.
This is where Strike 3 comes in....
He yells after me as I walk away 'have a nice walk to your car' reminiscent of the tone you'd use on someone if you were to say 'and don't let the doorknob hit your ass on the way out!'.
I went home, picked up S and went out drinking.
Total waste of hair and makeup products....
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